dsd85 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Hi everyone. I came back on here in hopes to get some advice on a guy I have been casually dating. I don't even know if you can call it that. I met him online, on relatively new site which you use in your phone called tinder. I know, that's the first red flag. Anyway, we have been texting almost every day for almost two months. The first month I was feeling him out and was reluctant to meet him. As weeks went on we finally were able to meet when he came to the city one night with his friends and I brought mine along too. He lives outside of the city an hour away and is also on call at his job so he gets called in sometimes at very last minute. After our first meet up he didn't stop messaging me and actually seemed a bit more interested. We arranged a second date the weekend after. I would drive to see him in his town. I did this because I actually wanted to see were he was from. So, before leaving he told me I could stay at his place if I wanted considering it would be late and I was driving. I thought, well, another red flag but didnt want to be judgemental. After drinks we both agreed to just go back to his place and watch a movie. We only kissed, passionately, but no touching. I was concerned he would label me as a tease and I was freaking out about it afterwards thinking it was a mistake to make out with him on his bed so soon, but we are both adults! Right? The next day he messaged me telling me that he didn't want me to think he was going to try anything else and that he respects me for not letting it go any further. Long story short, he continues to text but hasn't set up another date! I mentioned to him I would like to see him last weekend and we both said we would play it by ear and see if he got called into work. Instead of touching base over the weekend he totally flaked and don't message me all day Saturday. He messaged me Sunday morning apologizing for not texting me back since Friday but didnt even mention anything about our up in the air maybe plans. Red flag number three. He's still texting, i just don't know what the point is unless he is trying to string me along. I want to see him again. I enjoyed him company but I don't want to get hurt if I continue talking to him. He told me he felt really comfortable with me and it was weird but good. And he texts me practically everyday. We haven't talked about what we are looking for other than I told him in the beginning i told him I wasn't looking to rush into anything and he said the same, but in general before we got to know each other and since then I haven't brought up anything. He is also 3 yrs younger. 27, 24. Problem is, it's not looking promising but I thought I had a good feeling about him. Thoughts? Anything would help I'm confused and haven't done too much dating. He is the first guy since my ex broke my heart almost a year ago that I have felt any connection with.
Assasda Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 You think too much. Too much crap about red flags, I personally dont see any "red flags" at all. You like this guy, so set a time to see him, and go out and have some fun. Youre too much in your head, confusing youself, and if you keep doing that you'll just push him away. You do really sound like youre inexperienced. You should be honest with him and tell him that youre inexperienced
Author dsd85 Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Oh yes I think way too much all the time but I feel like it's going really slow and after flaking this weekend he didn't bring up meeting up again. Plus, I know he's still on that dating app. It just feels like I'm at an arms length but something also tells me this guys is a good guy. Maybe if I bring up seeing him or tell him I like him it will push him away.
Author dsd85 Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Oh yes I think way too much all the time but I feel like it's going really slow and after flaking this weekend he didn't bring up meeting up again. Plus, I know he's still on that dating app. It just feels like I'm at an arms length but something also tells me this guys is a good guy. Maybe if I bring up swing him or tell him I like him it will push him away. Last night he signed off with XO. He's never done that before.
Assasda Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 YOU set a time to see him. All he did was fail to ask you some question that you wanted him to ask you. YOU ask him out, just be sweet and supportive. XO should mean a lot to you. Your still getting to know him, so give him his privacy, its his right if he wants to be on that site, because you 2 arnt even an item yet. Keep having fun, and you guys will be fine
NoMoreJerks Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 I'd move on from this guy, to be honest. Men who are just texters are either hiding their personality by not wanting to talk / see you in person, and/or just interested in sex. I've had men who constantly texted me or emailed me, and never wanted to talk / never called / and didn't even want to meet up / do stuff together. I was dating a guy , and we had sex -- he wanted to see me, but only to have sex pretty much -- and when I stepped back and told him I wanted to take things slow on the sex front, he said he was fine with it , and he kept texting me (as in the past), but never asked me out again. All he does is text. Constantly. All day long. Long texts, too. I got fed up and stopped replying.
Author dsd85 Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 That's what I'm worried about. It's been almost two months and only two dates. Granted he lives far. But it's only an hour away. Also, he can meet me half way if he really wanted. It just seems either lazy or just not much interest. But then he says things like "I felt really comfortable" and texts everyday. I felt a shift when I asked him out on that third date that never happened last weekend. I have been kind of guarded with my feelings with him though. Just so confused bc I really do like him...
Author dsd85 Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 I texted him an hour ago just asking how his day was, his reply wasn't that interested. He's so hot and cold. Think I'm just a back pocket girl.
btc8 Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 I texted him an hour ago just asking how his day was, his reply wasn't that interested. He's so hot and cold. Think I'm just a back pocket girl. I would just text him saying, "Hey, want to go to X on Y?" Where Y is a date in the near future. See what he says. If says yes then great. If he says he has to do Z, then just reply asking him what day would be good for him. That sort of puts the ball in his court. If nothing comes of it, or he ignores the question, then just stop contacting him because he might be stringing you along. Indecisive people generally are indecisive for a reason, in my opinion. 1
Author dsd85 Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 I completely agree. But it's difficult because of his job. He's on call and on probation therefore it's hard to plan ahead to see each other. Early on he explained this and said he hates bailing on ppl so he rather plan things when he knows for sure. The last time I went to see him, he confirmed an hour before when he didn't get called to work.
Author dsd85 Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 **probation at his job. He can't refuse on call shifts.
NoMoreJerks Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 The bullsh*t is strong in this one. OP, seriously, I can understand job restrictions, but no one is that busy or his schedule is SO unpredictable ALL WEEK LONG that he cannot do something for months. What about the weekends?
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