TB Rhine Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 LOL. Are you serious? Listen up, all fellow women, if you accept any favor from a guy you're not romantically interested in, you're commiting a textbook fraud! It couldn't possibly be that a guy is actually kind-hearted and does favors without expecting anything in return. Oh no way in hell! He only ever does favors because he wants to get in woman's pants. And she knows it and defrauds him out of possibility of sex, because as soon she accepts the favor, a man is entitled to some action! As it was put, her end of bargain was not honored! What a con If that's what you need to tell yourself to go on getting your rent paid by nerds who obviously wanna shtup you, go right on ahead.
Kate9292 Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 If that's what you need to tell yourself to go on getting your rent paid by nerds who obviously wanna shtup you, go right on ahead. I actually share my rent with my bf and do way more than half of chores around the place. But nice try. You're certainly not the first one who thinks he knows everything about me even though you never met me.
hotpotato Posted November 7, 2013 Posted November 7, 2013 LOL. Are you serious? Listen up, all fellow women, if you accept any favor from a guy you're not romantically interested in, you're commiting a textbook fraud! It couldn't possibly be that a guy is actually kind-hearted and does favors without expecting anything in return. Oh no way in hell! He only ever does favors because he wants to get in woman's pants. And she knows it and defrauds him out of possibility of sex, because as soon she accepts the favor, a man is entitled to some action! As it was put, her end of bargain was not honored! What a con Um, because they are hoping for something in return. This is very difficult for some people esp. women to understand. These guys are waiting to have sex with you. Maybe you dont view it as tit for tat, but he does. Ive heard this being described as a down payment. You have sex more easily on tap than a man does. You can go up to a random man, ask for fast, impersonal sex, and probably get it. Men could get something like that from a prostitute, but many men view this route as for losers. Yet somehow being a beta orbiter has more dignity. 1
Phoe Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 All of this seems so very strange to me. Like I mentioned before, I have many male friends, and none of them are interested in me. Most have explicitly told me this right to my face. And no one ever buys things for anyone else, we all take care of ourselves. I can only think of one time when a friend of mine bought me a drink, and I was shocked. He moved to pay so quickly, I didn't even have a chance. I tried, but he wanted to buy the round. It was lovely of him.... but I know for a fact that he is not interested in me, as my attempts at flirting with him in the past have been shot down. He isn't attracted to me, but we have a great time together whenever we hang out. Me and my male friends hang out because we have fun together, have things in common, and enjoy each other's company. I seriously don't understand how this is such a difficult concept! 1
TB Rhine Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 This may be the case between you and your male friends, but if so, I'd argue you are the exception rather than the rule. I mean, look at what some of the women on here are essentially spouting: "So what if my male friends drive me everywhere, buy me things, pay for all my meals, etc.? I didn't ask for that, I just accept it, so that makes it okay! And it certainly doesn't mean they wanna SLEEP with me or anything! How DARE you try to make me feel bad for letting my male 'friends' spend half their paycheck on me every weekend???" They don't even bother to deny it. They simply go through a set of mental gymnastics to convince themselves they're not doing anything wrong. If your male friends don't act EXACTLY the way they would if they were dating you, except for that whole pesky 'getting laid' thing, then congrats: you MIGHT actually have some legitimate male friends. And as long as you aren't getting a free ride every time you hang out with them, they certainly can't turn around and say that you took advantage of them. The problem is that many women DO do this; they take and take and take, allow men to pay their way everywhere they go (regardless of whether they are 'dating' them or not), and I honestly believe they don't think twice about it. They are accustomed to men being willing to pay for their time and attention. That's why they get so upset when you point out the exploitative nature of their behavior; because they know if they ever admitted they were wrong, they'd have a hell of a lot to answer for. It is not a pretty girl's prerogative to take a man for everything he's worth, just because he happens to be stupid enough to give it to her, and the mindset that says that that's okay is just more ridiculous and reprehensible than I can fathom.
Kate9292 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 Um, because they are hoping for something in return. This is very difficult for some people esp. women to understand. These guys are waiting to have sex with you. Maybe you dont view it as tit for tat, but he does. Ive heard this being described as a down payment. You have sex more easily on tap than a man does. You can go up to a random man, ask for fast, impersonal sex, and probably get it. Men could get something like that from a prostitute, but many men view this route as for losers. Yet somehow being a beta orbiter has more dignity. If they hope for something in return, they should voice it before the favor. If they stated they only do favor because they expect me to put out for them, I'd reject the favor and would give them a wide berth from now on. If they never voice that they want something for the favor, I assume they only did it to make me feel good. And I keep that in mind and probably do them some kind of favor later on if I think they need it. Not a sexual one, obviously! What does any of it has to do with how easily I can have sex? Sex is not agreed "payment" for favor. And idea of paying for favors with sex sounds gross to me. Like a prostitution.
hotpotato Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 If they hope for something in return, they should voice it before the favor. If they stated they only do favor because they expect me to put out for them, I'd reject the favor and would give them a wide berth from now on. If they never voice that they want something for the favor, I assume they only did it to make me feel good. And I keep that in mind and probably do them some kind of favor later on if I think they need it. Not a sexual one, obviously! What does any of it has to do with how easily I can have sex? Sex is not agreed "payment" for favor. And idea of paying for favors with sex sounds gross to me. Like a prostitution. These guys are betas. They wont be aggressive most of the time. The problem is they were sending hints that you most likely missed. Its safer for them to be 'friends' then try to ease into something more. Being friends is a gray area that keeps them from being rejected and allows them to orbit around you. They ate trying to avoid that "wide berth" you speak up. Because they cant get sex as easily as you, they have to employ different strategies. To you, hanging around a guy forsexual favors may seem silly. You as a female could most likely as for sex and receive with little or no hassle. Most men dont have this option. These guys most likely are not hanging around for their health. Most likely they are hoping for something in return, either sex or dating with sex. It may feel uncomfortable to think your male friends have hidden motives. Thats why I pretty much stay away from male friends. 1
Belle88 Posted November 8, 2013 Posted November 8, 2013 I have a few guy friends and I don't really feel any different when hanging out with them opposed to hanging out with my girlfriends. If anyone buys someones a drink or a meal it's usually " hey I got this drink and you can get the next one" which is the same thing I would do with my female friends. I don't think my current guy friends have any attraction because most of them have girlfriends and I have a boyfriend. I've ended friendships with guys in the past who wanted to be more and were trying to do things so I would like them. I think if you are single and so are your guy friends then you may run into an issue with attraction but if everyone is coupled up and is faithful there isn't as big of an issue.
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