no contact for a wk but still obessing over his whatapps last online

[Kizmet Fisher]

y give me hope...we even think

Of the name of our future baby girl. ...Esther. ..

 

That really sucks, but you'll meet someone who can fully share a life with you and hopefully convince you not to name a baby Esther.

[chir]

Haha..why not esther..it is a beautiful story in the bible...

 

I don't know if I will ever meet that someone. ... is too much of a gamble..both for myself

and my girl. I dont know if I will dare to fall in love again..the pain of

Heart ache is so real.. n also now I am still staying under one roof with my child father..

My girl is still staying with both mummy and daddy. We had stop quarrelling and basically

Talk to each other on my girl issue only. So it is a safe arrangement now. For my girl, it is a amicable atmosphere at home..

 

Therefore I do not think I dare to risk it..for someone new..

 

I recently met someone new.... he make me feel pleasant. .not heart racing flushes just pleasant. .. but he is married. And I am not going to take things further. .not because of anything else....just for the sole reason. I am selfish. .no way to hurt my scarred heart again.

[Fufu]

Haha..why not esther..it is a beautiful story in the bible...

 

I don't know if I will ever meet that someone. ... is too much of a gamble..both for myself

and my girl. I dont know if I will dare to fall in love again..the pain of

Heart ache is so real.. n also now I am still staying under one roof with my child father..

My girl is still staying with both mummy and daddy. We had stop quarrelling and basically

Talk to each other on my girl issue only. So it is a safe arrangement now. For my girl, it is a amicable atmosphere at home..

 

Therefore I do not think I dare to risk it..for someone new..

 

I recently met someone new.... he make me feel pleasant. .not heart racing flushes just pleasant. .. but he is married. And I am not going to take things further. .not because of anything else....just for the sole reason. I am selfish. .no way to hurt my scarred heart again.

 

 

My dear take it slow and easy, don't rush for love. It will come when you are ready and most often it is always unexpected.

[chir]

He send me an msg yesterday. ..he said he cant help giving me a piece of his opinion

.. he said the foto I uploaded on my whatapps profile is very pretty.

But it might not appear professional and it might give my customers the wrong impression.

He is sorry to disturb me and I need not reply.

 

Which I did not reply or react..

 

A part of me was angry that he is still trying to put me down even after we broke off

A part of me was happy he bothered

A part of me doesnt bother..

 

Most importantly. . While in the past I will be sitting on my hands stopping myself

From replying, or giving him a piece of my mind..

Now I have absolutely no desire to reply him. I dont want and dont know

what to reply him

 

Now im just curious will he contact me again? Or will he just move on. Knowing I did not take tthe bait.

[chir]

A part of me was even guilty that I am better. . I am moving on quite well in less than 3wks of NC.

But I remind myself it was a painful, self destroying 2 years plus..

It should be glad it is finally happening. .. I managed to pull through

 

It is werid how sometimes the human brain works. ..

[Zahara]

I believe he will contact you. This isn't going to be the last. The thing is, they will at some point get tired and stop. He wants attention from you. He will keep trying. But you have to go silent. That is the only way to show him you are serious about moving on.

 

You have to hold on to this. He chose his family. He doesn't get to have the benefit or the option of you anymore.

[chir]

My unsent msg: is this the best you can do.to send me this msg..to test water?

Why? I thought the love is real. I thought this 3wks will make u realise alot of things

And you will send a honest sincere msg.to tell me you miss me and you need me.

You want to be true to me and our love. You are now really to proof ur love via actions.

Yet nothing, I just got a lame almost cowardly message frm you.

It is like the understatement of our relationship. You show ur 'love' you show you care

And yet it points to me, what I shall or shall not do. You are at your pedestal giving up advise

And for every words from you I will action it because of my love .

Your words will make me action and do more for us.

 

Miraculously, there is no more us anymore.

 

I wondered sometimes if you come back and said you are wrong

You want me choose me be with me..should I say yes..

 

I would be the happiest woman if u had said that to me wks ago but now

I realise I can be chirpy happy on my own accord, because people is attracted to me

By my good looks and chirpy personality once again.. should I still say yes.

 

Of course, I think too much. ... you may miss me but what you can do is at best this msg...

 

Yes. I moved on and moving on and will move on.

[chir]

Yes, Zahara... I will hold on.. all these msg doesn't show he care.

It just shows his love or rather the lack of love .. the selfishness..

True love will have make him do the right things for Us. To let the Us exist in the real world.

But he did not. And I will not.

[Zahara]

Let it remain unsent. He doesn't deserve anything from you.

[chir]

Yes.. I know where you are coming from. He will not understand it anyway.

He just want the attention. He just want to know I am still grieving over him

He just want his ego boosted..and he deserves nothing. Just silence.

[chir]

Okay. I broke contact. I do not know how u guys will react but I thought it is a nice closure.

Let me know if I am wrong please. I need to know the truth and whether I am over confident.

 

I was having a beer with my gal friend. And maybe I was abit high I kind of submit to that bearable missing-him feeling. And I was checking if he is online when is he last online every 15min..

 

Seems that he is checking on me too... and eventually he msg me.

'Are u outside? Are you drunk'

I didnt think too much n replied

'Not drunk'

 

Which he replied' are you ok? Where are you'

 

I admit I was emotional. And I replied

 

'I am doing very well now, you need not worry about me. Unlike the last time,

I was not angry with you anymore. I am glad we met. I am glad I managed to survive without you. Love my life very much now.

[chir]

'Send you my pic, you know I always wanted a nice ending'

 

And I send him my recent photo.. which is v pretty..according to myself and my friends

 

Of which he replied. Very pretty photo.. take care ya.

 

And I leave it as it.. did not replied.

 

And I eventually block him from whatapps. I think this ending is enough.

I need not want to hear from him anymore.

 

A part of me was missing him and yielding to hug him..but I know I need not go back

To that place anymore. .

 

I checked his status though. . He took down his motto

/status whatever which I know is meant for me, he told me before

'You can have it all, but not all at once'

[chir]

And change it to some random status with a smiling face..

 

Seems like it is as much as a closure as it is for him.

 

I thank him that he make me realise how deep I can love someone

I still love him and miss him

But it doesn't hurt as much as before.

I hope I am not playing with fire..by replying. .

 

But why... why do I still want to ask tis qns to all of you

 

'Will he contact me again' and most importantly will he come back to me

 

 

I miss him ... still... love him..still

[Zahara]

He is married. He's choosing his family. Until he comes to you with divorce papers, you cannot think about whether he will be back and you must stay NC.

 

You broke contact now move forward.

[chir]

Am I wrong to break contact? I am not angry I am just curious.

Am I weakening without realising it.

I mean I will not contact him after this.. but am I wrong to imagine

This might be a good closure

[Zahara]

Am I wrong to break contact? I am not angry I am just curious.

Am I weakening without realising it.

I mean I will not contact him after this.. but am I wrong to imagine

This might be a good closure

 

It wasn't wrong. I don't believe there is a wrong or right.

 

Was it in your best interest? No.

 

Of course you are weakening. NC gets worse before it gets better. It's like coming off a drug. The withdrawals are difficult. And since you just contacted, you will go back to square one. The first few months of NC is very hard. You will want to contact, feel miserable, feel sad, crave to talk, touch, want him. But you have to go through it.

 

Closure was accepting he was married and choosing his family. This wasn't closure. This was you trying to get a fix from your pain. And you will want to break NC again. So no, this wasn't closure.

[chir]

Oh.... I didnt realise it... but I think you are right. .it always come to

A stage where I had some false confident and thought it is ok to tell him I am well

Flaunt abit about me doing well...

 

It will stop though this time. I have no intention of contacting him, go back to the sad miserable playing 2nd feeble me..

[chir]

Now suffering the aftermath of breaking contact... ....

This is tough... I thought I was well n up after getting some attention from

Some other guys...therefore the false confidence that he is not able to hurt me and replied

His msg.. and flaunt how well I am doing... past 2 days.. my heart start bleeding again

 

Not the painful till it kills kind of pain.. but I just found the wound who just started healing

Opened up again..and start bleeding subtly again. ..

 

Friends.... try to hold on to no contact. ... it benefits lots even though its difficult. .

[BC1980]

Now suffering the aftermath of breaking contact... ....

This is tough... I thought I was well n up after getting some attention from

Some other guys...therefore the false confidence that he is not able to hurt me and replied

His msg.. and flaunt how well I am doing... past 2 days.. my heart start bleeding again

 

Not the painful till it kills kind of pain.. but I just found the wound who just started healing

Opened up again..and start bleeding subtly again. ..

 

Friends.... try to hold on to no contact. ... it benefits lots even though its difficult. .

 

It is like coming off a drug as Zahara said. You will hit some low points unfortunately, some moments of craving. Giving in always set me back, but I finally wished up. Even a few weeks ago, I had to talk myself out of contacting him. It's a daily choice.

[chir]

Is has been almost 3 wks.. as mentioned in earlier post. Broke contact by replying 1 msg and resume NC again since then.

 

I had come some way .. not a long way still but making progress

 

I started frm unable to not NC him and always crawl back after a hellish 5 days at most

To deleting whatapps.. to finally manage to go reinstall whatapps and check his online

Status now n then without feeling the extreme need to contact him.

 

To now.. blocking him completely from whatapps and not checking on him at all.

 

I still miss him, love him, hate him. Still angry, sad and depressed and forgiving at times

 

But I know I getting a hold back on my life. .and he is no longer part of my life anymore

 

The memories rings like a old Chapel bells which already stop ringing but you are so used

To hearing it.. it just rings in ur head ..but it is just the memories haunting you..

 

Life do goes on...

[Fufu]

Is has been almost 3 wks.. as mentioned in earlier post. Broke contact by replying 1 msg and resume NC again since then.

 

I had come some way .. not a long way still but making progress

 

I started frm unable to not NC him and always crawl back after a hellish 5 days at most

To deleting whatapps.. to finally manage to go reinstall whatapps and check his online

Status now n then without feeling the extreme need to contact him.

 

To now.. blocking him completely from whatapps and not checking on him at all.

 

I still miss him, love him, hate him. Still angry, sad and depressed and forgiving at times

 

But I know I getting a hold back on my life. .and he is no longer part of my life anymore

 

The memories rings like a old Chapel bells which already stop ringing but you are so used

To hearing it.. it just rings in ur head ..but it is just the memories haunting you..

 

Life do goes on...

 

 

Life do goes on And I think you did a great thing by blocking him out of your life.

[chir]

I wonder will I ever find love again. Im in my early thirties..it just seem so hard.

Most are already married. .

[Zahara]

I think we all wonder after a break-up. Finding love again is never a guarantee but what you had with married guy wasn't an option, so even if you had him, you wouldn't have received the love you deserve. The only thing to do is to go out there and if it happens, it does. If it doesn't, it would be much better than being in a half relationship with someone that isn't yours.

[ponchsox]

I wonder will I ever find love again. Im in my early thirties..it just seem so hard.

Most are already married. .

 

You don't find love, love comes from loving yourself and finding someone to share it with. There are plenty of people that you would be happy with.

 

Movies, media, and shows like the Bachelor paints an unrealistic picture of love. It's not always going to be a honeymoon. People who are waiting for Mr. or Mrs. Perfect are unhappy with themselves and probably always will be.

Edited November 9, 2013 by ponchsox

[chir]

Ok. I do not know what type of reaction I will get from this posting. In any case I feel bad about myself anyway

I wanted to pm some of you but I cannot. There goes...

 

I been having a lot attentions with this two guys.

 

E is single.look like a player, talk like a player and behaves like one too.

He is also 5yrs younger.

 

C is married.

 

So... C is the more to my type of guy. Mature and somehow he gave me a pleasant feeling

But I knew very well.. I am steering clear of MM. Even as a fling to soothe

My pain and as a distractions. MM will be a big NO. No way I will feed their

Selfish ego and whatever they want from me.no way.

 

 

E... I had been thinking of E and considering whether I should have a fling with him

I am sure he is not going to hurt me as i have no special feelings for him.He is not my type aand so much younger even though he is cute and funny.