TylerDurdenn Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 4 year relationship ended 4 weeks ago. I have just asked her if she thinks she'll ever get feelings back for me and she saids she's sure she won't, but admitted we have an amazing sex life and she loves spending time with me - there are just no feelings. How is she so sure? Ps. I have come to terms that we are completely done, just confused on the above!
Philosoraptor Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 If you've accepted that things are over then you just need to leave her to her own confusion. But it sounds like she likes you as a FWB, but not as a relationship. Thing is she's been processing the end of this relationship for a long time before she finally ended it. She's got a head start and in her mind she is sure that you two are not going to be a couple.
ponchsox Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 4 year relationship ended 4 weeks ago. I have just asked her if she thinks she'll ever get feelings back for me and she saids she's sure she won't, but admitted we have an amazing sex life and she loves spending time with me - there are just no feelings. How is she so sure? Ps. I have come to terms that we are completely done, just confused on the above! It's great that you came to terms. Women are fickle. One day they can just decide to end it out of frustration. My girl did it, I could tell she felt remorse after, but then she felt she did too much damage to reconcile.
Author TylerDurdenn Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 If you've accepted that things are over then you just need to leave her to her own confusion. But it sounds like she likes you as a FWB, but not as a relationship. Thing is she's been processing the end of this relationship for a long time before she finally ended it. She's got a head start and in her mind she is sure that you two are not going to be a couple. Think that pretty much sums it up! Thanks Also a quote for the people that are in the same boat as me: Losing all hope was freedom (apologies if I sound like a fanboy)
Grumpybutfun Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 (edited) Think that pretty much sums it up! Thanks Also a quote for the people that are in the same boat as me: Losing all hope was freedom (apologies if I sound like a fanboy) Tyler: In spirituality circles we call that acceptance. It is a powerful tool to letting go and moving forward. You will be fine and no matter what the reason is for her, you will never quite understand it as all thoughts, ideologies and theorems are composed of differing life markers for each of us. In other words, wrapping your mind around the why will make you not focus on moving on, so don't try to understand another person's reasoning. Good Luck, Grumps Edited October 22, 2013 by Grumpybutfun
TheVillageMisfit Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 She can't be sure. She also dated you for four years ... I'm sure she brought up engagement a few times. Was she sure then that you were the one? So how can she be so sure you're not now? She doesn't know how she'll feel a year from now. Maybe you'll grow and she'll fall for you again ... Maybe she won't - but she can't be sure. No one can be sure of the future and how they might feel. Things change. Just as things changed to end your relationship, things may change to restart it months, a year, or years from now. (Or maybe never).
Author TylerDurdenn Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 It's 4:45 and I've just woken up from another bad dream about her
lovelylilly Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 I hate having those dreams, it causes me to wake up in a panicked state and ruins my whole day! Drink some warm milk or read something to help make you fall asleep again. Best wishes. xxx
Author TylerDurdenn Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 I fell back asleep and had ANOTHER dream about her, this can't be right..
Sugarkane Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 It's great that you came to terms. Women are fickle. One day they can just decide to end it out of frustration. My girl did it, I could tell she felt remorse after, but then she felt she did too much damage to reconcile. Guys can be just as fickle. 1
Lost_Dragon Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 You can't keep wondering how or why. Make your own reasons if you must. Accept and move forward.
Justletgo Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 She can't be sure. She also dated you for four years ... I'm sure she brought up engagement a few times. Was she sure then that you were the one? So how can she be so sure you're not now? She doesn't know how she'll feel a year from now. Maybe you'll grow and she'll fall for you again ... Maybe she won't - but she can't be sure. No one can be sure of the future and how they might feel. Things change. Just as things changed to end your relationship, things may change to restart it months, a year, or years from now. (Or maybe never). Quoted for the truth. At this moment she 'think's she's sure. For who knows what reason(s). And that just sucks. I feel ya.
maturityassets Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Doesn't really matter what she is sure about. What you have to be sure about is whether you will be able to live an independent life without her. That is the only thing that really matters. You know a year from now she might change her mind or she might not. In the end what really matters is your outlook about yourself... Can you be a better you than you were in your own relationship and if you can wouldn't you say you deserve better than the person who said she was "sure" that it will never happen again? Because then she would be a person with a lack of integrity. Best of luck... Don't worry I've been told the same so you aren't alone :-)
Frank13 Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 From my experience, once a woman loses feelings, she never gets them back.
Author TylerDurdenn Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 Yep it's done now, I need to find an exciting girl! Just need to stop thinking about her with other men, that's the killer at the moment!
ponchsox Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Yep it's done now, I need to find an exciting girl! Just need to stop thinking about her with other men, that's the killer at the moment! You need to find a woman who is a giver and not a taker. I learned the hard way after being in a miserable relationship for 1.5 years.
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