gypsy25 Posted December 10, 2004 Posted December 10, 2004 I am so confused right now. I have been dating someone for about 5 months now. I am out of town right now, 2 states away from him and we are going to be away from each other for about 4 more weeks. I have been gone for about a week now and we have only talked once. I am afraid that if I call him he will think I'm being annoying because he works really long hours. The only thing is, he doesn't even call me on his days off and I know it's because he usually just sleeps on his days off and normally gets stoned so his last priority is calling me. Plus, I haven't exactly made it an issue to him to call me so he doesn't even know that it's bothering me. What should I do? I don't want to lose touch with him while I'm away but at the same time I don't want to come off as needy and always wanting to talk to him. I just want hin to know that I'm thinkin about him and I miss him but if he isn't doing the same then why should I call and say that? It makes me feel desperate and one-sided with my feelings. Is there some type of happy medium? just to give you a bit of history about me, I've been burned bad in the past by someone and I am deathly afraid of rejection and getting hurt by anyone and it is very similar with him. I know he is afraid of commitment and is somewhat emotionally unavailable and I have given him a great amount of space and let him lead the way, that's why I don't want to start acting needy now because I don't know how he'll react. Thanks in advance for any comments =)
LucreziaBorgia Posted December 10, 2004 Posted December 10, 2004 Originally posted by gypsy25 What should I do? Tell him how you feel. You don't have to nag, beg, be needy or anything like that, nor do you have to worry about pushing him away. Its not what you say, its how you say it - Just say that you are missing him and would like to hear from him more. No need to get into "I'm afraid to lose you" or anything like that. Just point blank - no weeping emotional displays - just simply: "I miss you and would like to hear from you more - would you mind calling, or is it ok if I call you from time to time?" If he gives you some guff over that, demands to know why he should call you, or overreacts to a simple request with anger or breaks up with you as a result - then thats a very good indication that you shouldn't be with this guy to begin with. I understand that he works long hours, and that he sleeps a lot - but surely he could fit in a phone call somewhere in there on a day off? Aren't you worth the common courtesy of a phone call from time to time? You don't have to make excuses for why he may not be calling. The fact is that he isn't calling. All you have to do is let him know that you'd like for him to call and go from there.
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