WhiskeyJack Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 He told me last friday that he wasnt sure if he still wanted to date me, or rather not sure if this was still what he wanted. We've been dating 5 years, living together for 4. I was devastated and it was obvious. We have all mutual friends but decided not to tell them just yet. I continued to live with him and it was as if we were still dating just with no intamacy, touching etc. I asked on Sunday if he was sure about his choice and he said he didnt know. He said he was flip floping back and forth on it. I decided myself that me being at the house all upset like was only clouding his judgement and was the cause of his indecision. So yesterday I made the choice to leave and stay somewhere else. I didnt tell him where I was going, just that I would be safe. He kept texting me to try and figure it out and being overly nice so I just stopped replying. He even left the house so I could gather clothes so it wouldn't be hard on me. Its been 13 hours of no contact. I constantly look at my phone to see if he's messaged me. Im still devastated that he made the choice to end it or to think about it whatever that means. Im almost 95% sure he truly wants to break up so he can test the waters. Hes never had a serious relationship before me, I was his first for alot of things and hes really just never had any other experiences. I want to say in time he may change his mind or maybe this no contact will show him that the grass isnt greener on the other side. But I am in no way banking on that. Im making myself realize this could be a for sure thing and I need to accept that. Im having a hard time with this so Im going to use it to chronicle my feelings and crap so I can look back if I have a hard time. Im just terrified of starting over.
mammasita Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I know the thought of starting over is terrifying, but as hard as this is now and as heart breaking as this can be (I know Ive been through it) this is your chance to find yourself, to heal and to find someone who will appreciate you and NEVER let you go. 1
Author WhiskeyJack Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 (edited) Thanks for the reply. I will be taking this time to figure everything out and work on some issues I have with myself. I know this is good for me and what I need. As for the finding someine else its not even on my mind or something I can see in my future. All I want to do right now is text him. I miss my home and my animals. Im currently in a city and I hate it haha. Its no place for this country girl. But I removed my phone from my reach and eyes to make it less easy to just grab it and text. Edited October 22, 2013 by WhiskeyJack 1
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