mendsley Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 For some reason the mornings are extremely tough for me. I always wake up asking myself why am I going through all this pain? Why did she just throw our lives away? Why doesn't she even care about me after all I did for her and her children? Why can't I just suck it up and tell myself to detach from this womwn who just bounced for no reason and took $4000 leaving me and my son with pennies to survive on? Lastly, I keep thinking how she's going to be in another relationship really quick and how easy it will be for her. My mind is a mess and im trying to keep busy. I go to the gym everyday and today my anger was pretty bad so I was throwing around the most weight I ever have, which felt good, but I cant get this chick and anger out of my head. Maybe today might be a Xanax day... damn it. Im trying to not blunt the pain, but my anger today might get me I trouble. Thanks for listening. Btw, this is me writing whats in my head so I don't contact the ex.
Transplant Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I understand entirely - my ex left without rhyme or reason, or at least unsaid reasons (maybe reasons I couldn't accept) - I've tried the whole 'get the anger out' as well. I boxed in college and graduate school and have taken a re-kindling to my training and busted up knuckles as well as to the iron in the weight room...though these practices are healthy (and I have strayed away from actual fighting), they are distractions that cannot cover up the pain. Nothing really can, at least at this point. I've tried healthy and unhealthy ways to cope, gin and cigarettes and fitness competitions, social and anti-social ways...the pain is just there and will be until it isn't. I hope it gets better for you soon but please know you are not alone...keep writing it all down...
ponchsox Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 You're smart for posting here. I sent angry texts to my ex and she ended up ignoring me.
Author mendsley Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Thanks for the responses. I'm starting to calm down. Im very greatful for this site and those who dedicate their time to listen and help a perfect stranger.
Mr Scorpio Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Mornings are always the absolute worst. Especially early on when you wake up after only a few hours of sleep. I've always hated mornings, although recently I've realized that it is better to get up and engage the day as opposed to lying in bed thinking about my worries.
NightOwl49 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Mornings stink. I always lay in bed remembering how much better it feels when someone else is sharing that space with you. Then stresses at work just add on to that- on top of already not being a morning person. Hang in there. You're not alone!
Recommended Posts