Is he into me??

[Shashasha]

I disagree with the majority of responses on page 1.

 

You yourself mentioned that this guy is shy.. So he probably needs you to initiate more. I know women feel entitled to be pursued every time but if you like this guy than I would continue to pursue.

 

I do feel this way too. But the fact that he didnt reply to my message?

[Lost561]

I do feel this way too. But the fact that he didnt reply to my message?

 

I'm very sorry. I missed that part of your post. **all the women can pummel me with eggs now**

 

Since he didn't respond to your message yesterday I would let him pursue and observe his behavior at work. There is a slight possibility he didn't get the message unless you have iPhones and you got the "read" confirmation.

[Lost561]

She wants a man! Not some wet rag of a pussssy. Let him pursue you. The man needs to do the work so the woman can feel like a woman.

 

I agree. I'm just saying if she wants to keep the relationship going with this dude she probably needs to initiate with him because he probably is soft like you said.

[Shashasha]

I'm very sorry. I missed that part of your post. **all the women can pummel me with eggs now**

 

Since he didn't respond to your message yesterday I would let him pursue and observe his behavior at work. There is a slight possibility he didn't get the message unless you have iPhones and you got the "read" confirmation.

 

Hahaha that's fine!! I dont work in the same place anymore so I cant observe him. He uses a blackberry and i am pretty sure he read my message. Although he did mention that his phone was buggered a week back. I dont see how he is not interested in me anymore? The last date on saturday was nice... He initiated kissing and he left saying he ll call me soon... Ahhhhhhh.

[Shashasha]

I agree. I'm just saying if she wants to keep the relationship going with this dude she probably needs to initiate with him because he probably is soft like you said.

 

I know what you mean - I dont wanna come actoss as too desperate though.

[Shashasha]

Get a priavate investigator to tell you what he's actually doing......

 

Awesome idea!!!

[Lost561]

I don't know what to say. I think this guys fate has already been decided in the earlier messages lol... But I do agree in all honesty that he should pursue you. It would just be a shame if he never got the message you sent him.. Still he should be pursuing you.

[Shashasha]

I don't know what to say. I think this guys fate has already been decided in the earlier messages lol... But I do agree in all honesty that he should pursue you. It would just be a shame if he never got the message you sent him.. Still he should be pursuing you.

 

I hope he replies....

[Shashasha]

Hahah thanks. I have been successfully stalking women for years. I always get my answers one way or another. It's called taking control. I don't allow myself to get played.

 

If only taking control was so easy!

[Leigh 87]

Look, I get that people have a life and there is no need to go text crazy for a girl they barely know; some guys text a lot, others don't. I get it.

 

There is really NO excuse for not texting for FOUR DAYS though, and then ignoring your text.

 

I have seen men who are crazy into their gfs. Men who are busy with their lives and have plenty to do. Yet they sure don't go days without texting their new gfs during the courting period.

 

There might be SOME men who are really into a girl, yet don't text for 4 days. I don't know any, personally.

 

Even the day before I met my ex from online, he said he had a really good feeling about me and we both seemed to really love texting daily; this continued from the first day we met. We never went days without texting.

 

The one guy who did go days without texting, turned out not to be all that interested in my beyond spending time with me and sex.

 

After days I texted him " well, obviously you're not all that interested"

 

To which I never heard back from him.

[Shashasha]

Look, I get that people have a life and there is no need to go text crazy for a girl they barely know; some guys text a lot, others don't. I get it.

 

There is really NO excuse for not texting for FOUR DAYS though, and then ignoring your text.

 

I have seen men who are crazy into their gfs. Men who are busy with their lives and have plenty to do. Yet they sure don't go days without texting their new gfs during the courting period.

 

There might be SOME men who are really into a girl, yet don't text for 4 days. I don't know any, personally.

 

Even the day before I met my ex from online, he said he had a really good feeling about me and we both seemed to really love texting daily; this continued from the first day we met. We never went days without texting.

 

The one guy who did go days without texting, turned out not to be all that interested in my beyond spending time with me and sex.

 

After days I texted him " well, obviously you're not all that interested"

 

To which I never heard back from him.

 

Lol. Hmm, i am not gonna text him anymore. Will see how it foes! Thanks for the advice

[Leigh 87]

Every guy that has been into me, has texted daily.

 

One let it slip that " hmm I want to text you way more than I do but I hold back lol" (he texted daily, he initiated).

 

One texted good morning every morning, until he stopped and waited until I contacted him first. To which he then said " I had waited until you texted me first. A good morning text would have been nice:(" " I wanted to see if you would initiate for a change, I love when you show how you appreciate me, and I would love it if the texting was more 50/50"

 

My FWB. Yes, he was ONLY my FWB. He messaged me on fb every day. We rarely actually met to hook up. He just enjoyed me on a personal level. He enjoyed talking to me.

 

Heck, even my bone head ex who slept with hookers and sexted girls online while in a long term, live in relationship with me; EVEN HE texted daily from the start. Or every second day at times, but mostly every day.

And, at he start, he wasn't that into me. Yet he STILL was interested ENOUGH to text daily.

 

Only ONE Boy has FAILED to text daily. ONE. The one who disappeared after a week or two.

 

.....My good friend and her current fiancé, he texted daily from day one. And he is a chilled out guy who never OVER texts her, either, and he has his own life and set of friends.

 

That is the proof I need, personally, to not bother with men who only text once every few days, and who do not arrange to see me once a week.

[Leigh 87]

Asking a guy out and making some moves is a turn on for some guys, yes. I have been the one to approach a couple of guys who ended up saying how they were SO glad I made the first move!

 

However, you can't be the main person to initiate. It at LEAST has to be 50/50.

[Shashasha]

Every guy that has been into me, has texted daily.

 

One let it slip that " hmm I want to text you way more than I do but I hold back lol" (he texted daily, he initiated).

 

One texted good morning every morning, until he stopped and waited until I contacted him first. To which he then said " I had waited until you texted me first. A good morning text would have been nice:(" " I wanted to see if you would initiate for a change, I love when you show how you appreciate me, and I would love it if the texting was more 50/50"

 

My FWB. Yes, he was ONLY my FWB. He messaged me on fb every day. We rarely actually met to hook up. He just enjoyed me on a personal level. He enjoyed talking to me.

 

Heck, even my bone head ex who slept with hookers and sexted girls online while in a long term, live in relationship with me; EVEN HE texted daily from the start. Or every second day at times, but mostly every day.

And, at he start, he wasn't that into me. Yet he STILL was interested ENOUGH to text daily.

 

Only ONE Boy has FAILED to text daily. ONE. The one who disappeared after a week or two.

 

.....My good friend and her current fiancé, he texted daily from day one. And he is a chilled out guy who never OVER texts her, either, and he has his own life and set of friends.

 

That is the proof I need, personally, to not bother with men who only text once every few days, and who do not arrange to see me once a week.

 

:'( I should forget about him then?

[truth_seeker]

 

Guys who are very into a girl never wait 3 or more days to text them. They certain never ignore them after 4 days.

 

There is absolutely no way this guy is that into you. Anyone on here who says he is obviously don't know how most guys act when they are crazy about a girl.

 

I concur. Nothing stops a man when he is into a woman. He makes the time.

[jwizzle]

@Shashasha

 

I firmly believe you need to read the book, "He's Just not that Into you." If you have read it, open it again and re-read it.

 

Everything you've said about this guy is pretty much in that book. He really does not seem into you. I think you even have a gut feeling he isn't because you wrote this post.

 

I am 42. That book didn't exist in my dating hay days. I read that book when I turned 35 and it really opened my eyes and actually freed up my mind.

[Leigh 87]

@Shashasha

 

I firmly believe you need to read the book, "He's Just not that Into you." If you have read it, open it again and re-read it.

 

Everything you've said about this guy is pretty much in that book. He really does not seem into you. I think you even have a gut feeling he isn't because you wrote this post.

 

I am 42. That book didn't exist in my dating hay days. I read that book when I turned 35 and it really opened my eyes and actually freed up my mind.

 

 

And the small % of guys who ARE into you, yet display signs that they ARE NOT into you (not texting for days followed by ignoring your text after day 4) are simply so rare, that it's more helpful to just assume he just aint into you. Since most guys who act like this, aren't into you.

[Leigh 87]

:'( I should forget about him then?

 

Yes:(

 

I'm sorry, I was hurt when the secone last guy failed to text for 3 days, only to ignore me when I finally DO text.

 

Look, forget him, but of he texts you again to ask you out, do go. Give him ONE last chance to determine whether or not he's into you. And forget him for now, as he may not text you again.

 

Guys do the disappearing act all the time, cos their too rude to actually tell a girl I that they don't really like them all that much.

[truth_seeker]

 

Guys do the disappearing act all the time, cos their too rude to actually tell a girl I that they don't really like them all that much.

 

Girls do it, too

[jwizzle]

And the small % of guys who ARE into you, yet display signs that they ARE NOT into you (not texting for days followed by ignoring your text after day 4) are simply so rare, that it's more helpful to just assume he just aint into you. Since most guys who act like this, aren't into you.

 

Yep, that is so rare its called the EXCEPTION to the RULE. Exceptions are such a small percentage (kind of like winning a lottery jackpot or getting struck by lightening).

 

I think she said they already kissed so I think him not contacting her back is a sign of non-interest. It hurts. It happens to everyone at least once.

 

I personally would rather move on than be repeatedly disappointed. Good God I wish that book existed when I was a teenager and in my 20s. I was a sad desperate chasing little puppy dog.

[Shashasha]

Turns out majority of you were right. He messafed saying he wasnt sure how he felt and he didnt respond because he didnt want to give me the wrong idea. He said we are pretty much different people and he dont think it would work out. I respond with a pretty cool msg saying O am sorry he feels this way and all the best. Sigh...... I guess its nice of him to be upfront and not have lead me on... I am still a bit upset though

[Shashasha]

Urgh - cant stop thinking about it! How do i get over this? I know its not a big deal but i still feel rejected.... I had so much hopes for this to work!

[Eternal Sunshine]

OP - usually when you have to make the first move on a guy it's already a pointer to "he is not that interested" category. Guys don't get asked out often so he probably felt flattered or even a bit more sinister motive, he saw you as easy sex.

 

Secondly, once you start dating, you don't get that invested into someone right away. The reality is that most 1/2 dates turn into nothing. So your attitude should be very easy going during that stage (not anxious, obsessing etc).

 

Thirdly, remember how you feel when you really like a guy? You want to text him all the time, you get butterflies when you think about him, you can barely contain yourself from contacting him. Well, guys feel the exact same way when they are into someone. They want to text/call you every day because every contact with you brings them joy. They want to see you often. There is an easy flow of communication.

 

Another thing to note is don't make excuses for him (he works till 2am or similar). No matter how much someone works, they still have to eat and sleep. It take 30secs to shoot you a text in the morning/during lunch/ in the evening. There really is NO excuse.

 

Hope this helps in the future.

[Shashasha]

OP - usually when you have to make the first move on a guy it's already a pointer to "he is not that interested" category. Guys don't get asked out often so he probably felt flattered or even a bit more sinister motive, he saw you as easy sex.

 

Secondly, once you start dating, you don't get that invested into someone right away. The reality is that most 1/2 dates turn into nothing. So your attitude should be very easy going during that stage (not anxious, obsessing etc).

 

Thirdly, remember how you feel when you really like a guy? You want to text him all the time, you get butterflies when you think about him, you can barely contain yourself from contacting him. Well, guys feel the exact same way when they are into someone. They want to text/call you every day because every contact with you brings them joy. They want to see you often. There is an easy flow of communication.

 

Another thing to note is don't make excuses for him (he works till 2am or similar). No matter how much someone works, they still have to eat and sleep. It take 30secs to shoot you a text in the morning/during lunch/ in the evening. There really is NO excuse.

 

Hope this helps in the future.

 

Well - this is the first time i am asking a guy out and i did so because i was crushing on him for a long time. I did it with the confidence that he would agree to go on a date. Anyway, yah, you do have a point that I should not get too heavily invested in this. I had dreams about stuff we could fo together and looking back now, it is all so silly. I will and need to move on and be stronger than this.

 

Thanks for the advice! will def be more careful next time...

[forgetmenot75]

Never chase a man. It was obvious from the beginning he was not that into you. He was not playing hard to get. He probably has someone else who really likes. He tried with you but he didn't like you enough. I'm sorry.