lookingforbalance Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Day 79 since break up, day 45 of NC. I desperately want to let go. The problem I have is that I can't seem to let go of the feeling that, due to the nature and circumstance of the relationship that she is now in, I want it to crash and burn hard. If she were in it with some random guy, I wouldn't care and would move on much more quickly. But because of her choice of partners (a friend of mine until I found out about this relationship), the anger, frustration, and hurt have been compounded. I want to heal, and I believe the only way to do that is to forgive and let go of her. But right now the negative feelings seem to manifest themselves more and more each day. I truly don't know what to do or how to cope. I am a fairly active person and have many family/friends that I spend time with, but these feelings about her continue to keep me empty inside. I appreciate any thoughts anyone may have. I just want desperately to move on with my life. Thanks.
Mr Scorpio Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Depending on the intensity and duration of the relationship, you haven't been in the hell of your breakup that long. My advice -- which might not be shared by that many others here -- is that your own personal healing does not have to involve forgiveness. Not at all. Resentment for how your ex treated you can be a manifestation of caring about yourself. How dare she treat you the way she did? How dare he start dating her despite being friends with you? To hell with both of them! Don't just let go of her, but punt the ***kin memory of her into the gutter and set it ablaze. Then go for a fun-run!
Author lookingforbalance Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 That is definitely another way to look at moving it forward, thanks for the different perspective. You are definitely right about this one, it hasn't been that long, and I gave of myself more than I ever have to one single person with her. It will sting for awhile. I just hate the negativity that surrounds resentment, and don't want it in my life, I hate it. Thanks man.
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