LK30 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Hi all, I've been with my ladyfriend for 7 months this week. It's my third longest relationship and I'm 34, so hoping I've finally found 'the one!' She works in my office and we kind of got closer after she split from her ex and bizarrely I never even looked at her twice before then as I knew she had a partner (quite rightly I guess!). I knew when we got together that she was a rebellious teenager, and overheard her say at our work Xmas party that she had slept with about 20 men in her teens as she got in with a bad crowd. During the Xmas party we were flirting a lot and ended up kissing a few times during the night. At the end of the night she kissed my colleague (he's a real player and he made the move on her). By March we had chatted a lot and I think kissing at Xmas sort of pushed things forward between us and we got together. It was quite casual at first but she admitted she fancied me and we got intimate. She said it wasn't casual at all to her and she wanted us to be exclusive which we did. Since then it's been the best relationship I've had. We get on so well, she loves me and does so much for me. She's the ideal lady I've been looking for. The other night we had sex and she said 'how many women have you slept with?' I told her and then she told me what I already knew but for some reason it was a shock. I don't think the timing was great after I'd just slept with her! She wasn't bragging and was ashamed and told me she got into wrong crowd when she was 16, peer pressure etc. It really shouldn't bother me but what she said about the amount of men she's slept with made the xmas party incident come back into my mind where she kissed someone else (even though we weren't together). It's made me have doubts about her and I think she's sensed it. Perhaps it's because my feelings weren't so strong before. I'm seeing a counsellor at the moment about 'trust issues' so I'll explain all this to her but would appreciate some advice. I don't want to lose her but I seem to destroy all my relationships and I know I'll so regret it forever if I can't get over this. Any advice would be appreciated. Thank you.
mikei880 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 My 2 cents.... At the Xmas party you weren't a couple, she was just doing her thing. You are a couple now. The past is the past. She told you how many men she's been with, big deal! IMHO I wouldn't care how many partners shes had as long as shes screaming my name.She is letting you into her world, being honest in her own way. Trust her until she proves otherwise. Do not look for ways to not trust her. Have an open heart and let this thing develop. The past is the past, the person she is right now is what matters.
Author LK30 Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Mikei880 - that is probably the best advice and best worded four lines I've read in a long time. Thank you.
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