How to be sure he's just not that into me?

[millymollymandy]

Hi everyone,

 

I have been seeing an older guy for about 2 months and I have a feeling he's just not that into me, or at the very least - I like him a lot more than he likes me...

but I'm not sure if I should just continue anyway and see where things go, or break it off now before I invest too much and get hurt.

 

When we are together it is wonderful and I find that my doubts mostly melt away, but when we're apart it seems that he hardly ever initiates texts and he doesn't call everyday.

He is 60 and he did say that he doesn't like texting that much and admitted that he has been 'accused' of not being very communicative in the past.

 

He also says that he doesn't like making plans in advance, but I think that if you really like someone then you like making plans with them because it's nice to know when you will see each other again, and also, you don't want to miss your chance because they've now made other plans in the meantime.

 

One Friday night I tired calling him and he didn't answer and I tried again a bit later and the phone was off... I didn't hear from him until later the next morning and he said he was working and then his phone had gone flat. Am I an idiot for believing this?

 

In the past I have had a habit of making rash decisions and ending things,

I think because of abandonment issues, but I have been single for two years and worked on building my life and self esteem.

 

I am the sort that naturally wears their heart on their sleeve and I think in the beginning I was perhaps too generous and available, and sending a daily text to say goodnight etc, but I have toned this down and now trying not to come on too strong...

 

So, if a man really likes a woman... would he call her everyday, or give her flowers or something by now (2 months)?

 

Note: He is very attractive ...whereas I am average.

Thanks in advance for your support. I have been hurt very badly in the past but I now feel ready for a proper relationship and I don't want my natural tendencies or my insecurities to ruin things with this guy.

[LizzieZ]

Well, it's been only 2 months. I think you need to give him more time.

 

He seems pretty introverted, especially the fact he mentioned being called not communicative in the past. You can read up on the introverted personality. It could be just that opening up/developing attachment for someone takes more time for him.

 

Also, try not to expect too much, like, "oh, he should've already bought me flowers by now!". You'll just build up those expectations in your mind and then vex about them not being met. Just try to enjoy the dates you go to with him. Try to really see the good things and have fun. Like, notice something nice about a movie theater you go to or a cafe and comment on it. It's just the beginning of your relationship, so relax and have fun.

 

And it seems like you really want this to work, because you've waited and worked on past hurts, etc. And I'm pretty sure you'll find your person. It might be that guy, or maybe someone who's more extraverted, but eventually you'll find him.

 

Good luck.

[millymollymandy]

Hi LizzieZ,

It's funny that you mention introversion, as I am an INFP and quite selective when it comes to opening up to people.

You are so right - it has only been two months, I should slow down a bit and enjoy the time that we do spend together, without thinking too much about the times in-between.

I guess my thoughts re the flowers, were not so much an expectation as such, but rather I was wondering if the lack of such a gesture should be added to the clues that he just isn't into me. There's a chance that the age gap worries him a little also, but he said he was ok about it.

Thanks for your kind words and optimism, I will try to relax a bit more

[Lovelorn00]

This is really good advice here. I'm in the same situation, kind of. We have a great time in person, but he's sort of distant when we're not together or communicating via text message. He doesn't text every day and sometimes takes forever to respond. Based on advice I've been getting from other members here, you've got to learn to relax. Don't over think everything and just enjoy it for what it is. I am personally going to take that advice and try to back off from my guy. Give him some space. Live life. Stay busy, fulfilled. It's only been two months, so I've got to lower my expectations a little. Maybe this approach will work for both of us. Good luck!

[Shashasha]

Just out of curiosity, how old are you?

[spiderowl]

I don't think you are an idiot for thinking along those lines, but it's probably not as sinister as you think. However, I suspect that what you are experiencing is his 'pattern', the way he does things. If you are finding it feels unsatisfactory and uncaring now, then that's not likely to change. He doesn't feel the same need as you to be in touch regularly. For me, that would be a big thing and I know I would need someone more in touch with me.

[millymollymandy]

Just out of curiosity, how old are you?

 

I'm turning 31 next month and he's turning 61 next month

[millymollymandy]

Thanks for your help guys!

 

Well it has now been three months and if anything I think the communication problem has worsened.

We saw each other on Friday night and things were great - easy to be with, had a laugh, and wonderful chemistry/attraction between us...

 

He has told me that the age gap did bother him a bit because I am younger than his daughters but I told him not to worry about that and to just get to know each other as people, not ages. So he agreed to keep seeing me and he doesn't want me to see other men. He has assured me that he isn't seeing anyone else - he is adamant about this and says that he doesn't have enough time as it is...

 

So Friday night when he left he told me that he will be away on business for about 10 days and that we shouldn't text each other because our texting style/expectations lead to misinterpretation etc and he doesn't think it is a good way to communicate and doesn't want me to be upset/disappointed with his text replies etc...

 

...but he also said he won't call me while he's away bc it will be best for him to completely focus on these business deals at the moment and not get distracted. I know that he is very stressed about this because he is starting to run out of money and getting stretched financially.

He told me that after a few weeks have passed he should have more time.

 

Part of me sometimes imagines him away on a lovely holiday with another woman, living it up without having to worry that I will contact him, while I am here thinking of him working hard and looking forward to seeing him when he gets back...

 

It is Tuesday now so 4 days have passed with absolutely NC and I have another week or so to go, and I'm wondering - does this seem normal for anyone else out there? How hard would it be to give me a call at least once while he's away? Am I stupid for accepting this? If he really liked me he would want to talk to me more wouldn't he?

Edited November 26, 2013 by millymollymandy
error

[Ninjainpajamas]

Well it has now been three months and if anything I think the communication problem has worsened.

 

Really? what a surprise! you mean you took advice from women about men then it was wrong...no way! *bangs head on desk repeatedly*

He has told me that the age gap did bother him a bit because I am younger than his daughters but I told him not to worry about that and to just get to know each other as people, not ages. So he agreed to keep seeing me and he doesn't want me to see other men. He has assured me that he isn't seeing anyone else - he is adamant about this and says that he doesn't have enough time as it is...

 

You mean he wants to lock down your vagina even though he basically dumped you in so many words but you convinced him to give things a chance and age is just a number? *punches self in face*

So Friday night when he left he told me that he will be away on business for about 10 days and that we shouldn't text each other because our texting style/expectations lead to misinterpretation etc and he doesn't think it is a good way to communicate and doesn't want me to be upset/disappointed with his text replies etc...

 

You mean his initial BS answer about saying he doesn't communicate much that only a woman would believe actually is holding true even after 3 months? and now he continues to make excuses as to why he doesn't want to do something that he knows he could very easily do! wow, who'd have thought *kicks himself in nuts*

...but he also said he won't call me while he's away bc it will be best for him to completely focus on these business deals at the moment and not get distracted. I know that he is very stressed about this because he is starting to run out of money and getting stretched financially.

He told me that after a few weeks have passed he should have more time.

Of course! focus...everybody needs focus...in fact I can't focus right now because I'm busy slicing my wri...

Part of me sometimes imagines him away on a lovely holiday with another woman, living it up without having to worry that I will contact him, while I am here thinking of him working hard and looking forward to seeing him when he gets back...

 

Another woman? get out of town, he's totally available even though he's acting completely unavailable...after all, remember he said that women complained about it in the past! surely it wasn't a hint to what was to come...surely it wasn't a warning to buy himself more time when your brain starting throwing up red flags...nothing to think about of course.

It is Tuesday now so 4 days have passed with absolutely NC and I have another week or so to go, and I'm wondering - does this seem normal for anyone else out there? How hard would it be to give me a call at least once while he's away? Am I stupid for accepting this? If he really liked me he would want to talk to me more wouldn't he?

 

I have no idea what is going to happen next...please ladies, chime in with your words of optimism and blind guidance...let's here some more theories and methods of acceptance to avoid turning around when you're being bent over and taking it up the...

 

It's super hard millymolly to keep in contact and totally normal! when I see a house on fire I think that's totally normal, they're probably just lighting a really big candle...he's just totally into you and stuff! completely not stringing you along and just using you as a side thing...you're totally not "stupid" it just takes more patience, understanding, nurturing yadda yadda yadda more girly stuff...after all, did you know that I knew this one person this one time who was in your EXACT situation and even though I'm an idiot and know nothing about their relationship....eventually everything magically worked out one day and they ended up happily ever after! so don't worry just keep holding on, I'm sure tomorrow he'll turn this whole thing around and everything will be wonderful and bright.

 

tralalaaaa who wants to go taste wedding cakes with me? i hear wedding bells! better hurry, he might not be alive for very long!

[spiderowl]

If he was interested, he would be in touch and probably every day. He wouldn't be trying to get you used to less and less contact. Personally, I'd dump the guy and go no contact straight away. If he does bother to try to get in touch again, he'd have a well-deserved shock.

[Ruby Slippers]

It sounds like this "relationship" isn't making you very happy. I think you can do better.

[nomadic_butterfly]

Hi everyone,

 

I have been seeing an older guy for about 2 months and I have a feeling he's just not that into me, or at the very least - I like him a lot more than he likes me...

but I'm not sure if I should just continue anyway and see where things go, or break it off now before I invest too much and get hurt.

 

When we are together it is wonderful and I find that my doubts mostly melt away, but when we're apart it seems that he hardly ever initiates texts and he doesn't call everyday.

He is 60 and he did say that he doesn't like texting that much and admitted that he has been 'accused' of not being very communicative in the past.

 

He also says that he doesn't like making plans in advance, but I think that if you really like someone then you like making plans with them because it's nice to know when you will see each other again, and also, you don't want to miss your chance because they've now made other plans in the meantime.

 

One Friday night I tired calling him and he didn't answer and I tried again a bit later and the phone was off... I didn't hear from him until later the next morning and he said he was working and then his phone had gone flat. Am I an idiot for believing this?

 

In the past I have had a habit of making rash decisions and ending things,

I think because of abandonment issues, but I have been single for two years and worked on building my life and self esteem.

 

I am the sort that naturally wears their heart on their sleeve and I think in the beginning I was perhaps too generous and available, and sending a daily text to say goodnight etc, but I have toned this down and now trying not to come on too strong...

 

So, if a man really likes a woman... would he call her everyday, or give her flowers or something by now (2 months)?

 

Note: He is very attractive ...whereas I am average.

Thanks in advance for your support. I have been hurt very badly in the past but I now feel ready for a proper relationship and I don't want my natural tendencies or my insecurities to ruin things with this guy.

 

He's full of shat from top to bottom. Get rid of him and fine someone maybe 20 yrs or less older than you. The more you'd want to have kids who wont get picked and teased for their dad looking like their grandpa, the younger the guy you should date. Honestly what could you get out of dating someone 30yrs your senior?

 

He is clearly married or in a serious relationship. At his age I am more inclined to think married. Whenever a boyfriend gives this many restrictions on not only when he will contact you but when YOU can contact HIM he is married and/or living with a partner. He is full of it and he is right in toying with a younger girl because he expected you to be naive. But you were smart enough to have doubts and ask.

 

And never ever let anyone feel superior to you because of superficialities such as looks, money, status, etc. In the twinkling of an eye all the aforementioned can change! You can be the hottest man in the world and disease or an accident hits and that's gone. You can be rich today poor tomorrow. Have some self esteem you are worthy of a good man if you are a good woman irrespective of vanity. All the best!

Edited November 26, 2013 by nomadic_butterfly

[winny]

Please... u can do better...

[Brown-Eyez]

Well it has now been three months and if anything I think the communication problem has worsened.

 

Really? what a surprise! you mean you took advice from women about men then it was wrong...no way! *bangs head on desk repeatedly*

He has told me that the age gap did bother him a bit because I am younger than his daughters but I told him not to worry about that and to just get to know each other as people, not ages. So he agreed to keep seeing me and he doesn't want me to see other men. He has assured me that he isn't seeing anyone else - he is adamant about this and says that he doesn't have enough time as it is...

 

You mean he wants to lock down your vagina even though he basically dumped you in so many words but you convinced him to give things a chance and age is just a number? *punches self in face*

So Friday night when he left he told me that he will be away on business for about 10 days and that we shouldn't text each other because our texting style/expectations lead to misinterpretation etc and he doesn't think it is a good way to communicate and doesn't want me to be upset/disappointed with his text replies etc...

 

You mean his initial BS answer about saying he doesn't communicate much that only a woman would believe actually is holding true even after 3 months? and now he continues to make excuses as to why he doesn't want to do something that he knows he could very easily do! wow, who'd have thought *kicks himself in nuts*

...but he also said he won't call me while he's away bc it will be best for him to completely focus on these business deals at the moment and not get distracted. I know that he is very stressed about this because he is starting to run out of money and getting stretched financially.

He told me that after a few weeks have passed he should have more time.

Of course! focus...everybody needs focus...in fact I can't focus right now because I'm busy slicing my wri...

Part of me sometimes imagines him away on a lovely holiday with another woman, living it up without having to worry that I will contact him, while I am here thinking of him working hard and looking forward to seeing him when he gets back...

 

Another woman? get out of town, he's totally available even though he's acting completely unavailable...after all, remember he said that women complained about it in the past! surely it wasn't a hint to what was to come...surely it wasn't a warning to buy himself more time when your brain starting throwing up red flags...nothing to think about of course.

It is Tuesday now so 4 days have passed with absolutely NC and I have another week or so to go, and I'm wondering - does this seem normal for anyone else out there? How hard would it be to give me a call at least once while he's away? Am I stupid for accepting this? If he really liked me he would want to talk to me more wouldn't he?

 

I have no idea what is going to happen next...please ladies, chime in with your words of optimism and blind guidance...let's here some more theories and methods of acceptance to avoid turning around when you're being bent over and taking it up the...

 

It's super hard millymolly to keep in contact and totally normal! when I see a house on fire I think that's totally normal, they're probably just lighting a really big candle...he's just totally into you and stuff! completely not stringing you along and just using you as a side thing...you're totally not "stupid" it just takes more patience, understanding, nurturing yadda yadda yadda more girly stuff...after all, did you know that I knew this one person this one time who was in your EXACT situation and even though I'm an idiot and know nothing about their relationship....eventually everything magically worked out one day and they ended up happily ever after! so don't worry just keep holding on, I'm sure tomorrow he'll turn this whole thing around and everything will be wonderful and bright.

 

tralalaaaa who wants to go taste wedding cakes with me? i hear wedding bells! better hurry, he might not be alive for very long!

 

this ^^ is precious!! LMAO!!

[ja123]

I don't think that he necessarily has another woman on the go, but he's a loner and set in his ways.

 

 

He clearly won't compromise for anyone, not even you.

 

 

Why should you do all the compromising? Find someone who will be pleased to meet you half way.

 

 

Are your needs being met? Really? You're not happy with this situation, clearly.

 

 

So, move on.

 

 

Good luck!

[nomadic_butterfly]

I don't think that he necessarily has another woman on the go, but he's a loner and set in his ways.

 

 

He clearly won't compromise for anyone, not even you.

 

 

Why should you do all the compromising? Find someone who will be pleased to meet you half way.

 

 

Are your needs being met? Really? You're not happy with this situation, clearly.

 

 

So, move on.

 

 

Good luck!

 

LOL. So she must absolutely NOT contact him while he is "away" because he will be doing business 24 hours a day for 10 days straight? No 3 or four messages exchange every few days of a simple hi, how are you doing? Because it takes so much time and effort? Because it is soooooo "distracting?" Come on. We don't need binoculars to see the light.

 

Come on. This guy has a wife. He shows ALL THE SIGNS of someone in a serious relationship. He is NOT a loner he is just unavailable and wants a side piece. He is on business and/or pleasure with his main partner. Case closed. But one thing we both agree with is her moving the hec on!

[millymollymandy]

Thanks everyone for your replies.

You made me laugh ninjainpjs, thank you ...but at the same time I am hurting a great deal.

 

I know I shouldn't have, but this morning I sent him a text basically asking if we could talk on the phone sometime soon, and he didn't reply, so this afternoon and this evening I tried calling and he has his phone turned off. I know I shouldn't have tried contacting him so much, but I was just working myself up and getting upset, but I won't contact him again.

 

I finally realise he is not legitimate and this is not how I want to be treated. He has told me that he wants to take me away for a few days somewhere, and I am pretty sure now that he is doing that now with someone else, and it breaks my heart a little.

 

I just don't understand why he would do that to me. Why didn't he just tell me he was seeing other people or that he wasn't attracted to me or that he was going away with someone else, rather than just feed my hope and keep me hanging on? Who does this? Are there lots of men out there who genuinely like to hurt women? I didn't think he was like that bc he has 5 sisters and 2 daughters and is very good to them...

 

I thought that I had my self-esteem up to a decent level, but this situation really is testing it for sure. I haven't cried or anything, but I am having anxiety and my heart is in my throat and I can't concentrate on the reading I have to get done.

 

We are supposed to be going out for dinner for his birthday when he gets back, and I already have his birthday presents here, and not really things I could give to anyone else, because they are personal to him.

I am thinking of leaving them on his doorstep when his birthday comes, but not contacting him again, and if he does happen to contact me again, I will be strong and ignore him, and treat the gifts like a farewell offering.

 

How do I stop feeling like crap?

[ja123]

I'm sorry to hear that you're hurting, but it's normal under the circumstances. With time, you'll feel better.

 

 

You mustn't leave the gifts you bought him on his step or give them to him in person. They are better off given to a charity organisation.

 

 

You are reacting on emotion right now, but it is time to use your head. If your best friend who was in this situation, would you recommend that she give the gifts to the man who just jilted her?

 

 

By giving the gifts you are not respecting yourself or showing yourself any self-love. When re-building self-esteem, sometimes it is necessary to act in the opposite manner to what we've done in the past so that we can break negative patterns. Think of it as taking a risk, by not doing that, then when you've done it you will feel a relief that a) you survived taking the risk b) a sense of pride.

 

 

Also look into "no contact". It is the best and quickest way to taking some control over the situation and to feeling better. Baggagereclaim is a good site.

 

 

Accept that you cannot change him and that he's never going to love you or say he's sorry. It hurts to realize that, but it's the first step to healing and moving on.

 

 

Take care and good luck!

 

 

You can do it!

[Ruby Slippers]

millymollymandy, you stop feeling like crap by cutting this guy out of your life and getting back to making your own life good, productive, and positive. He has nothing to offer you that a better man won't also offer.

 

Stop texting, stop calling, and let this negative energy go. If he contacts you again, tell him it's over and tell him not to contact you again. Stick to that. I totally agree that you should give his gifts to charity. He doesn't deserve them, and it would send the completely wrong message to reward him with gifts, given how he's behaved. Honestly, it would be better to throw them in the trash than give them to him.

 

He didn't tell you the truth because he's a coward and a liar. It has nothing to do with you. It's about his own weakness as a man. The only question you need to ask yourself is whether you're going to allow this kind of treatment from a man in the future - and I think you've learned your lesson here.

 

Focus on the positive, the progress you have made in your life. I believe that life has a way of giving us just the situations we need to test our resolve and push us to get stronger and keep elevating ourselves. Consider this a test. How are you going to handle it? It's up to no one but you.

[pteromom]

I just don't understand why he would do that to me. Why didn't he just tell me he was seeing other people or that he wasn't attracted to me or that he was going away with someone else, rather than just feed my hope and keep me hanging on? Who does this? Are there lots of men out there who genuinely like to hurt women? I didn't think he was like that bc he has 5 sisters and 2 daughters and is very good to them...

 

He is clearly using you for whatever his needs are: sex, friendship, romance, or just someone to be there when he's lonely.

 

Maybe he's selfish, maybe he's in another relationship, maybe he enjoys hurting women, or maybe he's just so stuck in his own ways, he doesn't realize what he's doing.

 

But the "why" doesn't really matter. He isn't willing to provide what YOU need in a relationship, which is a true connection, growth to something more, and being there for each other, even when it is inconvenient.

 

So you need to cut him loose and find someone who wants the same thing you do.

 

How do I stop feeling like crap?

 

Time. It will take some time.

 

You have to realize too, that it isn't YOU. There's nothing you could do that would change him into a guy who is wholly committed and wholly involved with you. It's no failing or fault on your part.

 

You have no blame in this situation, but it's time to leave it behind.

[nomadic_butterfly]

Thanks everyone for your replies.

You made me laugh ninjainpjs, thank you ...but at the same time I am hurting a great deal.

 

I know I shouldn't have, but this morning I sent him a text basically asking if we could talk on the phone sometime soon, and he didn't reply, so this afternoon and this evening I tried calling and he has his phone turned off. I know I shouldn't have tried contacting him so much, but I was just working myself up and getting upset, but I won't contact him again.

 

I finally realise he is not legitimate and this is not how I want to be treated. He has told me that he wants to take me away for a few days somewhere, and I am pretty sure now that he is doing that now with someone else, and it breaks my heart a little.

 

I just don't understand why he would do that to me. Why didn't he just tell me he was seeing other people or that he wasn't attracted to me or that he was going away with someone else, rather than just feed my hope and keep me hanging on? Who does this? Are there lots of men out there who genuinely like to hurt women? I didn't think he was like that bc he has 5 sisters and 2 daughters and is very good to them...

 

I thought that I had my self-esteem up to a decent level, but this situation really is testing it for sure. I haven't cried or anything, but I am having anxiety and my heart is in my throat and I can't concentrate on the reading I have to get done.

 

We are supposed to be going out for dinner for his birthday when he gets back, and I already have his birthday presents here, and not really things I could give to anyone else, because they are personal to him.

I am thinking of leaving them on his doorstep when his birthday comes, but not contacting him again, and if he does happen to contact me again, I will be strong and ignore him, and treat the gifts like a farewell offering.

 

How do I stop feeling like crap?

 

Man you sooooo remind me of my old self. Always so open, honest and generous thinking most people would be the same. I am so sorry you are in pain. The only thing I can recommend is to listen to what people do more than what they say. I am soooo transparent that people often underestimate how serious I am when I say I am going to do something or how I lay all my cards out on the table from the beginning.

 

In the future, when you see a man being so fickle and uncommunicative, take that as a hint to move on. When a guy loves you/is really interested in you, he will call you even at his busiest moments for a quick hello, just to hear your voice. He will compromise. He will make time for you. He will honor his words with his actions.

 

As for me, I've gotten better with time by paying close attention to actions align with what he is telling me. I look for compromise on his end. I look for initiative on his end. Most of all, I take it very slow in getting to know people and building trust bit by bit. And don't take it personally when a man pulls a disappearing at so early on; it might be the God/ the universe redirecting you to a better path. You are worthy of a great man just continue being a great woman. ::hugs::

[Blade96]

He's hiding something or is not that much into you. If he was, even if he hardly ever texted you first or called you first, he'd make sure that he had his phone or skype or whatever on so you can write him. My crush has his skype on every night except when he goes out of town to visit his family and friends. Even then, I could write him, but I do not I leave him be to spend time with his friends and family.

[FitChick]

I wonder if the OP has ever had a real boyfriend. And did she grow up with her father in her home?

[aussietigerwolf]

Well it has now been three months and if anything I think the communication problem has worsened.

 

Really? what a surprise! you mean you took advice from women about men then it was wrong...no way! *bangs head on desk repeatedly*

 

He has told me that the age gap did bother him a bit because I am younger than his daughters but I told him not to worry about that and to just get to know each other as people, not ages. So he agreed to keep seeing me and he doesn't want me to see other men. He has assured me that he isn't seeing anyone else - he is adamant about this and says that he doesn't have enough time as it is...

 

You mean he wants to lock down your vagina even though he basically dumped you in so many words but you convinced him to give things a chance and age is just a number? *punches self in face*

 

So Friday night when he left he told me that he will be away on business for about 10 days and that we shouldn't text each other because our texting style/expectations lead to misinterpretation etc and he doesn't think it is a good way to communicate and doesn't want me to be upset/disappointed with his text replies etc...

 

You mean his initial BS answer about saying he doesn't communicate much that only a woman would believe actually is holding true even after 3 months? and now he continues to make excuses as to why he doesn't want to do something that he knows he could very easily do! wow, who'd have thought *kicks himself in nuts*

 

...but he also said he won't call me while he's away bc it will be best for him to completely focus on these business deals at the moment and not get distracted. I know that he is very stressed about this because he is starting to run out of money and getting stretched financially.

He told me that after a few weeks have passed he should have more time.

 

Of course! focus...everybody needs focus...in fact I can't focus right now because I'm busy slicing my wri...

 

Part of me sometimes imagines him away on a lovely holiday with another woman, living it up without having to worry that I will contact him, while I am here thinking of him working hard and looking forward to seeing him when he gets back...

 

Another woman? get out of town, he's totally available even though he's acting completely unavailable...after all, remember he said that women complained about it in the past! surely it wasn't a hint to what was to come...surely it wasn't a warning to buy himself more time when your brain starting throwing up red flags...nothing to think about of course.

 

It is Tuesday now so 4 days have passed with absolutely NC and I have another week or so to go, and I'm wondering - does this seem normal for anyone else out there? How hard would it be to give me a call at least once while he's away? Am I stupid for accepting this? If he really liked me he would want to talk to me more wouldn't he?

 

I have no idea what is going to happen next...please ladies, chime in with your words of optimism and blind guidance...let's here some more theories and methods of acceptance to avoid turning around when you're being bent over and taking it up the...

 

It's super hard millymolly to keep in contact and totally normal! when I see a house on fire I think that's totally normal, they're probably just lighting a really big candle...he's just totally into you and stuff! completely not stringing you along and just using you as a side thing...you're totally not "stupid" it just takes more patience, understanding, nurturing yadda yadda yadda more girly stuff...after all, did you know that I knew this one person this one time who was in your EXACT situation and even though I'm an idiot and know nothing about their relationship....eventually everything magically worked out one day and they ended up happily ever after! so don't worry just keep holding on, I'm sure tomorrow he'll turn this whole thing around and everything will be wonderful and bright.

 

tralalaaaa who wants to go taste wedding cakes with me? i hear wedding bells! better hurry, he might not be alive for very long!

 

Dude you are awesome

[elbe]

I feel like if a guy is really legitimately into you, you would be able to tell.. unless he has heavy anxiety and clams up -- at which point I totally could relate.