pipiopi Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Simple question really, but I'm a little confused. We know each other pretty well - almost 10 years and have been dating for a little while now. I tried texting her once to see if she was busy so we could set up a time to skype (we're long distance) and she didn't answer. Called, no answer. Then I ended up falling asleep about 30 minutes later. I woke up to 6 missed phone calls and a missed skype call all in about 10 minutes. She's done this before, I'm just not sure why? Usually when I call someone and they don't answer, like I did earlier in the night, I'll just wait. But she tends to call several more times. I'd like a woman's perspective, but all answers are appreciated.
Assasda Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Women change their minds, its a womans pergative. Just accept this, and keep it in mind
todreaminblue Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 dont know why she would call seven times in ten minutes.......maybe she really wanted to talk to you...eventhouigh she might have ,missed your call .....maybe something important happened to her....maybe her cat had kittens...... ask her why she felt the need to call you so many times.....and maybe she might tell you the reason why....all the best..deb
LizzieZ Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Hmm, I don't know. Usually when I call someone and they don't answer I don't instantly call them 6 more times. I wait at least an hour or so. But some people are more familiar? Maybe it wasn't a big deal for her? And maybe she felt guilty that she missed the skype talk so she called you that many times hoping to apologize/explain herself or something? Don't jump to conclusions yes, ask her what happenned next time you have a chanse.
Author pipiopi Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Assasda - not sure what women changing their minds has to do with her calling so many times in 10 minutes. Moreso wondering what would be going through a woman's head to call that many times. Like I said, it's happened before so I don't believe anything particularly important happened - as last time it wasn't really anything important. I'm guessing maybe she thought I was asleep and was trying to wake me up, or like you said todreaminblue, she just really wanted to talk to me. I appreciate the advice of asking her, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of me asking here, no? I probably will bring it up, but it's late at night right now, I can't exactly ask her - and if I could, I'm not sure how to word that. "why'd you call me so many times" which a girl would hear as "why are you trying to talk to me/why are you so needy" - I don't necessarily have a problem with it, just trying to understand without having to make a big production out of it.
Author pipiopi Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Thanks for the perspective Lizzie. I don't feel that I'm jumping to conclusions - I don't care that she missed my call or didn't text back right away. I don't know...maybe she thought I was mad or something? And like you said was maybe doing that to try to get in touch with me to explain? Hopefully I wouldn't make her feel like she needed to do that...
todreaminblue Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 (edited) Assasda - not sure what women changing their minds has to do with her calling so many times in 10 minutes. Moreso wondering what would be going through a woman's head to call that many times. Like I said, it's happened before so I don't believe anything particularly important happened - as last time it wasn't really anything important. I'm guessing maybe she thought I was asleep and was trying to wake me up, or like you said todreaminblue, she just really wanted to talk to me. I appreciate the advice of asking her, but that would kind of defeat the purpose of me asking here, no? I probably will bring it up, but it's late at night right now, I can't exactly ask her - and if I could, I'm not sure how to word that. "why'd you call me so many times" which a girl would hear as "why are you trying to talk to me/why are you so needy" - I don't necessarily have a problem with it, just trying to understand without having to make a big production out of it. i think what is more important to you is the real reason why she called you so many times.not just getting guesses or affirmations from people who dont know you or her........and no one on here can answer that so nothing is defeated ....love shack doesnt solve problems...... one reason why i dont really ask about why people in my life do things or say things to me....posters dont know the person i am talking about...and i have one who is a real riddle to me.... have you noticed when you do therapy if you ever have this is a common phrase.....how do you feel about that...what is your thoughts on that matter what a professional therapist knows isnt important what matters is how you feel .........why i do self therapy done so much outside therapy i have about twenty therapists and an acute care team in my head........ common therapy discussions(when i am in crap or need help) held in my head by appointment only are ...... how do you feel about that....... how does that make you feel what are you going to do about it.. many more self analysis questions before this gem comes...... do you feel you are losing your grip on reality you are answering yourself and talking to yourself in your head...have you considered medication lately and how did it work for you last time........i answer...i am thinking of freaking nothing ok and no medication. thank you now... get out my head and heart...put my ipod on and i dance instead......... i think though you have a feeling she was being needy.....unconsciously you put it out there...do you feel she is a needy person normally.......why do you feel it is a big production to ask a simple question ...why should it be a big production when it is only one question.....answered once and then its over....i do feel she probably felt bad about not answering your call and was keen to skype with you......but thats a guess....my therapist in my head is going tch tch..guessing is not good.......and the acute care team are asking me to ask you have you considered medication or electric shock .....they are willing for you to guinea pig so they can journal their discoveries to help others........ignore them ......smilin.....good luck .....i was trying to be funny to show you...sometimes you just have to smile take a deep breath ....let it go.........or develop multiple personalities to deal with lifes crap.....does make things interesting..:bunny:....best wishes......deb Edited October 22, 2013 by todreaminblue
Author pipiopi Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Thanks for the perspective todreaminblue. I can understand why you would think I was looking for someone to solve my problems, but that is not the case. I fully understand that no one here knows who I am talking about, nor can they give me a definitive answer on this. But that is partly the reason I am asking here. You don't know her. Your answers are objective. Although you may not know the exact answer, if a lot of people answer with their own personal experiences, I am likely to catch at least a part of the reason - or at least the most common reasons. I did this in my own head, but my view may be skewed/biased. So, I was hoping to confirm, or at least get some different perspectives with other peoples' experiences, particularly women because men and women think differently. I don't necessarily believe she is needy. I think it is odd that someone would call that many times, and she doesn't come off as needy to me - which is why it is so confusing. That would be the obvious answer, but her normal actions don't put that across to me. The first thoughts that came to my mind were: a) she really wants to talk to me, b) she thought i was sleeping and was trying to wake me up, c) felt guilty or bad about missing my call and wanted to show that she was making an effort, as opposed to calling once, letting it ring 3 times and hanging up - as if she didn't really want to talk. But 7 times, different venues - i.e. phone and skype? Seems to lean towards A. Maybe she is needy? Who knows? I just don't want to insinuate that, because I don't mind her trying to get in touch with me. I mean 7 times...it's a lot. But it's not 57. That's psycho. Like I said, not looking for "the" answer. Just perspective.
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