melina Posted December 13, 2004 Posted December 13, 2004 Sorry, I didn't mean to be silly! Funny enough my boyfriend is English! I'm Italian! We have actually watched porn together. Some of those "clubbing nights" where you end up back in your hotel room at six in the morning and feel all horny. But he definitely doesn't stash away his magazines in our appartment. (Unless he's found an unknown spot ;-) But I guess it would bug me A LOT if he did!!!!!!!!! can't really explain why. Just the thought that he's looking at these cheap chicks getting all aroused. My true opinion is that I don't find those women attractive AT ALL! So, it would piss me off if he needed that filth to get him going! As I said; it can be fun to watch it together once or twice a year. But him doing it sneakily...... I'd hate it!
F224ever Posted December 13, 2004 Posted December 13, 2004 Here is the deal... Men are physical creatures. Men have greater sex drives. Men are visually stimulated. Women are emotional creatures. Women have longer sex drives. Women are physically stimulated. Men still have the animal instict to "spread our seed through out the world" He looks at porn because he is only an animal, when it comes down to the facts. He maybe smarter (etc.) but he still has the basic wiring. Would you rather him watch the porn, or go have sex with other women? You should sit him down and tell him you found it. Tell him what your problems with it are. If you think you can handle him, tell him to come to you instead of the videos. But, be wary, men think of sex, on average, every 40 seconds. (every 20 when asleep) Testosterone is the reason. Men produce massive amounts. Women produce it too, but in a much smaller amount. Testosterone is what makes you get all hot and bothered. I did an expiriment with this. On 2 seperate occasions, I have placed me and a friend (2 males) with anouther friend (1 female) and started a conversation about sex. As the males became aroused, the female, because of the testosterone leaving the skin pores and entering the car, made the female started to get excited. Fact of the matter is, every guy looks at porn. If he says he doesn't, he's lying to you. Just let it go. But, make sure you are the person he comes to if porn isn't enough. It's not that he doesn't like/love you, he just wants to appear as better than the average guy. (I always delete my porn when I start dating someone.) And, think about it this way, maybe that outfit you were wearing today got him excited, but instead of bothering you (maybe waking you, etc.) he takes matters into his own hands, literally.
melina Posted December 13, 2004 Posted December 13, 2004 how can you say every guy looks at porn!? I mean my boyfriend works in a bank so definitely doesn't look at porn in the office and for sure he doesn't look at porn at my home computer. We live together and I don't think he goes to the cellar to jerk off with a porn magazine. As I have said we have watched it together a few times (my idea) in a hotel room after a boozy night off and he was actually the one who wasn't very interested in it. I am not proud of it! But maybe the whole porn/stripper scene just isn't for every guy! I know that he's been to strip clubs on stag nights and he says he really doesn't like it too much! In fact my boyfriend tells me A LOT and uncomfortable things too from his past! But if he says: "Look, I'm not really interested in porn than I believe him".
F224ever Posted December 13, 2004 Posted December 13, 2004 I said that as a generalization. I personally feel that masterbation is a good stress reliever/way to put my a$$ asleep. I don't like strip clubs too much either. I've been once and it was a joke. And to tell you the truth, if my significant other says "Hey lets watch some porn!" I'd take the remote and make love to her. Most porn looks like 2 surgically enhanced people doing crap I don't have the nutz to ask if she'd like to try, ecspecailly anal. You couldn't pay me to do that.
melina Posted December 13, 2004 Posted December 13, 2004 I like playing with myself too! :-) (good stress release and not only a guy thing :-) Good to hear that other blokes, too, find that strip clubs and porn are a bit of a joke!
Adunaphel Posted December 13, 2004 Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by melina I'm always amazed at Amercians' problem with porn! This subject seems to be coming up so much on the loveshack! I have not had one friend of mine who had a problem with their boyfriends watching porn! Let's do a "country-comparison". Everyone says where they're from and we'll figure out where the "sleaze-bag-boyfriends" sit! :-) This reminds me that my friends' boyfriends don't watch porn either. (they don't watch porn at all or once in a blue moon). Damn, looks like I got together with the one-out-of-a-hundread italian guy who has a huge stash of porn. Just my luck.
Author ribeena Posted December 13, 2004 Author Posted December 13, 2004 I dont have a problem with masturbation in any way wot so ever - its our bodies we are allowed to do as we please & i happily engage in it - we even do mutally, but its just the use of his "visual aids" i have a problem with - i know its normal or whatever & i do know alot of other men in relationships that have bigger porn collections than my boyfriends but im very insecure in myself, ive always hated my body & feel that i cant satisfy him because my body is far from the womens in the porn so obviously i'm gonna feel sh*t cos he's looking at girls that, to me, are alot fitter, hotter, sexier etc so theres a massive sense of inadequatcy (im also sh*t at spelling, apologises!!!)
Author ribeena Posted December 13, 2004 Author Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by zara The fundamental difference is that all porn is made from a deeply ingrained male perspective since it is the satisfaction of male pleasure that has long been the focus of the industry to the extent that the female erotic gaze has been inverted, taught to regard the female satisfaction of male sexual desire as erotic for them, when in fact this does not address female desire, as cited in Ribeena's post about watching women sucking each other and playing with dildos leaving her cold. EXACTLY!!!! And these views have so gotta change...not trying to go all feminist revolution or nothing but women are people too - we have desires too!!! And the women in porn is so male dominated, how in some porn its just one women being f*cked in, excuse my fowlness but... both holes!!! by 5 different men cos, ok whilst that may be for a select few women their ultimate fantasie, for the majority its not, its something men have a fascination of doing to women & think they'll love it!!!! yeah she'll love it if i pump her up the ass cos its a hole & i'm a man so i'm gonna put my dick in it!!!! ( sorry if this seems a little brash - my boyfriends porns quite themed - the majority involve some kind of arse f*cking!!!) and the women will just umm & ahh - loving it all - acting up to the camera rubbing their tits etc... I wanna see him go down on her till she really cums & then her shove a dildo up his bum - how'd he like that then eh?!?!!
Author ribeena Posted December 13, 2004 Author Posted December 13, 2004 GAY PORN is the way forward...i see that now!!!!
quoteman Posted December 13, 2004 Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by ribeena watching something thats meant to be one of the most intimate things - can you understand how that can be upsetting?! When you have sex with someone & your that close & intimate with someone & then its just made into a whole mockery?! It seems to me that sharing one's body is with another person is not as intimate as sharing your thoughts with them. You have all these thoughts about it that you seem to be withholding from the person with whom it matters most: your boyfriend.
Author ribeena Posted December 13, 2004 Author Posted December 13, 2004 Originally posted by quoteman It seems to me that sharing one's body is with another person is not as intimate as sharing your thoughts with them. You have all these thoughts about it that you seem to be withholding from the person with whom it matters most: your boyfriend. Getting naked infront of my boyfriend was one of the most difficult things ive ever had to do - i know this may not seem like a big deal but it was for me and believe me I have shared many thoughts which have already overwhelmed my boyfriend so regards this i'm scared i'll push him away - its just in my mind i'm torn - i dont like the porn but i'm aware it happens everywhere & i'm just wrestling with whether i'm overracting or not - plus i'm not exactly very good at talking about things i can be quite blunt & a little clumsy so things can come accross in the wrong way they should! but i see your point & i should talk to him its just how...
quoteman Posted December 13, 2004 Posted December 13, 2004 Well, your first post made it sound as if you discovered the stash innocently enough. So, you might start with mentioning how you found it. Of course, if you were looking for it, that's another matter.
zara Posted December 14, 2004 Posted December 14, 2004 Originally posted by ribeena EXACTLY!!!! ... its something men have a fascination of doing to women & think they'll love it!!!! I wanna see him go down on her till she really cums & then her shove a dildo up his bum - how'd he like that then eh?!?!! Now THAT would work for me! Go for it, sister! I think you and i should set up our own porn production company!
Adunaphel Posted December 14, 2004 Posted December 14, 2004 Originally posted by ribeena I dont have a problem with masturbation in any way wot so ever - its our bodies we are allowed to do as we please & i happily engage in it - we even do mutally, but its just the use of his "visual aids" i have a problem with I feel exactly the same way.
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