gmccormick Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I'm 20 and my ex-gf, also 20, broke off our 4 year relationship about 7 weeks ago. Her reasons: Her feelings changed/she didn't want to get further in to the relationship only to look back and wonder if there's more -I took it really hard, because we were a great couple. I found out that she had sex with some guy who's on her course 2 weeks after we split. He stayed the night at hers and she was 'interested' in him. I never confronted her, I didn't really see the need because she was single - but my god it hurt to find out. I deleted her on facebook, unfollowed her on twitter and instagram. Also deleted her number. The constant reminder made it hard, so it had to be done. She texted me a few weeks later asking why I'd done all that. She said 'It's so final' and that 'it's a stupid thing to do.' She ended that phone call with 'Whatever, I don't care' 2 weeks pass by and she gets in touch again (by text) asking 'how i'm feeling' and ended it with 'see you around sometime. x'.. i sat there stunned to be honest, but replied in a calm way. She tried to make conversation, but I knew that this was just all apart of the package, so I kept it to a minimum. She may have felt guilty about ending it, so she made herself feel better by showing she 'cared'. Anyway, her birthday is on the 26th (this saturday). I was wondering if it'd be wise to just text her saying 'Happy Birthday, hope you have a great day' or something along those lines? My instinct has no idea, sometimes i think it's a good idea because it's civil and shows i'm interested still, even though this is all on her. Then other times i feel like it's not worth it because she'd probably just reply.. 'thanks'. Which is just miserable. Since she texted and broke no contact, it's been almost 3 weeks (of NC). Going strong, but missing her. Thanks for reading.
leafguy Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I would say a simple happy bday would not harm anything as long as you are prepared to expect a "thanks" reply. It at least shows you remember and care...just keep it short and simple and don't expect anything beyond that.
Jake2014 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Don't give her the satisfaction of even texting her. Trust me. Going through same thing. She probably won't reply and if she does it will be a miserable thanks or even thanks how are you? Move on dude,
blotter Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 DONT do it. DONT send that text. All you will do is give her the satisfaction of knowing she still has her dog on a leash. She'll probably will be looking for it and it will disappoint her, but screw her, she dumped you and banged another guy. Don't give her the satisfaction.
Phoe Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 DO NOT TEXT HER. like you said, you'll probably only get a "thanks" in response and you'll feel miserable.
Assasda Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 DO NOT TEXT HER... I think she'll probably text you, just dont even think about it
Fufu Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I'm 20 and my ex-gf, also 20, broke off our 4 year relationship about 7 weeks ago. Her reasons: Her feelings changed/she didn't want to get further in to the relationship only to look back and wonder if there's more -I took it really hard, because we were a great couple. I found out that she had sex with some guy who's on her course 2 weeks after we split. He stayed the night at hers and she was 'interested' in him. I never confronted her, I didn't really see the need because she was single - but my god it hurt to find out. I deleted her on facebook, unfollowed her on twitter and instagram. Also deleted her number. The constant reminder made it hard, so it had to be done. She texted me a few weeks later asking why I'd done all that. She said 'It's so final' and that 'it's a stupid thing to do.' She ended that phone call with 'Whatever, I don't care' 2 weeks pass by and she gets in touch again (by text) asking 'how i'm feeling' and ended it with 'see you around sometime. x'.. i sat there stunned to be honest, but replied in a calm way. She tried to make conversation, but I knew that this was just all apart of the package, so I kept it to a minimum. She may have felt guilty about ending it, so she made herself feel better by showing she 'cared'. Anyway, her birthday is on the 26th (this saturday). I was wondering if it'd be wise to just text her saying 'Happy Birthday, hope you have a great day' or something along those lines? My instinct has no idea, sometimes i think it's a good idea because it's civil and shows i'm interested still, even though this is all on her. Then other times i feel like it's not worth it because she'd probably just reply.. 'thanks'. Which is just miserable. Since she texted and broke no contact, it's been almost 3 weeks (of NC). Going strong, but missing her. Thanks for reading. I know it's tough breaking up from a relationship this long, but you got to get yourself to move on. You are still young Honestly, you deserve a girl that loves and cares for you as much as you do for her too.
Emma1234 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 She does not deserve you. Do not text her. It is over, all you can do now is move on so focus on that. She's out of your life.
ChaseD Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 As others have said ... don't text her happy birthday man. I know you still want to keep in contact with her, but don't do it. The only reason she broke up with you is because she wanted to get into a relationship with another guy. I'm sure she contacted you initially after the break up because she felt a little guilty (not a lot since she banged another guy) and wanted to know that you're ok aka not suicidal. In my opinion, I wouldn't even have answered those initial texts. So you don't have to feel obligated that you need to wish her a happy birthday and just move on for now.
Chi townD Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Dude, She made contact with you because she felt guilty. She knows that you know she screwed someone else. She didn't need to be Sherlock Holmes to figure that one out. She found it strange that you deleted her from every social media after she had sex with this dude. Yeah, you might say to me that she didn't contact you for a couple of weeks after you deleted her. But, come on. She's gonna think that you found out something happened to make you go to that extreme, now what could that be? So, she reached out to see where your head was at. Nothing more than that. Keep doing a hard NC. I wouldn't even make contact on her birthday. Why? You're not her boyfriend or anything. And that was HER choice, not yours.
OnlyHonesty Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I would say a simple happy bday would not harm anything as long as you are prepared to expect a "thanks" reply. It at least shows you remember and care...just keep it short and simple and don't expect anything beyond that. I think that's a common mistake to make in such situations. Sometimes, for our own sake and mental wellness, it is best to go no contact. I think one should ask themselves the true reason why they are sending a birthday wish, is it because they want to show that they still care or is it because somewhere in them, they hope the birthday wish sparks off more contact or attention in some way.
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