AnnaAnna Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 After doing so well for over 3 weeks I got weak tonight and broke NC. I always think what if I tried a little harder. Well, tonight I tried and got nothing in return. I can honestly move on right now knowing there was nothing I could have said or done to save this relationship. I really didn't want to have any regrets a couple months from now. It was a simple message: Hey, how is it going? So far I got nothing back and I'm sure he won't reply. I'm sure I will regret all this tomorrow. I just don't know anymore! 2
harrybrown Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Be strong and start the NC again. Find a friend to help you from making contact again. 1
AnyaNova Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 We all think our relationship was special. We are the case where they will respond, and if they do, it won't just be breadcrumbs. And we are crushed when we get responses, and they are breadcrumbs, or we don't get responses, or we get responses and end up in the same relationship and it ends again for the same reasons that it ended before. You know what to do. Day 1 starts tomorrow. Begin again. Pick yourself up. If you get no response it will hurt. It will seem very cold and like he must not care. believe me know, and I'm sorry you are in this boat. 3
JoelBarish Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 The worst part it gives hope again. You sit there and stare at your phone hoping you will get a text. Then there is the dread. What will they say? Will they reject us? Will they God forbid tell us they are with someone else and happy? Or will they say nothing at all and reject us by default? Anya is right, Day 1 start fresh tomorrow. 1
Author AnnaAnna Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Thank you all for your kind words. At least I knew you guys would respond. I knew this was going to happen. I kind got cought up reading some stuff online about letting your love slip away and blah, blah, blah. I should have been stronger and fought my feelings but I guess one bad moment will not keep me down. I just have to keep moving like you all said and start over again. I appreciate having you all here because you all know how it is. Thanks again for support. 1
love1336x Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 *hugs* it's okay... It's all part of the healing process... Eventually you'll let go, and be free from this pain. </3 1
Haydn Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Hi Anna, dont be hard on yourself. You just asked `Hows it going`. You didn`t beg or anything. I know how close i was last night to trying to contact her. I dont really understand all this power in relationships stuff. It seems to me that NC has its benefits but if you dont reach out then there are so many things left unsaid. I always thought it was good to show you cared and wanted to make things work with the one you love. But since being dropped all i have read is that we have to take back the power. Is this what its really all about? I feel for you and i know that place where you are right now. One day i hate her and i feel ok. Then the next i am pieces listening to the `Smiths`. Sometimes when i wake up i think she is next to me, then i realise she is gone. There is a good chance that i may run into her this week. I am not looking forward to the feelings that will evoke. Take care my friend. Haydn Thank you all for your kind words. At least I knew you guys would respond. I knew this was going to happen. I kind got cought up reading some stuff online about letting your love slip away and blah, blah, blah. I should have been stronger and fought my feelings but I guess one bad moment will not keep me down. I just have to keep moving like you all said and start over again. I appreciate having you all here because you all know how it is. Thanks again for support. 1
Fufu Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I broke NC tons of times.. it's alright (don't blame yourself) start NC again and gradually you will get use to it 1
Author AnnaAnna Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Well, I woke up this morning and there was a message from him. Nothing special just " I'm doing good".I regret messaging him at all but at least I tried. I really have nothing to look forward to in this relationship and I have to move on. Back to NC starting today. Thanks everybody for being there for me
Author AnnaAnna Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Hi Anna, dont be hard on yourself. You just asked `Hows it going`. You didn`t beg or anything. I know how close i was last night to trying to contact her. I dont really understand all this power in relationships stuff. It seems to me that NC has its benefits but if you dont reach out then there are so many things left unsaid. I always thought it was good to show you cared and wanted to make things work with the one you love. But since being dropped all i have read is that we have to take back the power. Is this what its really all about? I feel for you and i know that place where you are right now. One day i hate her and i feel ok. Then the next i am pieces listening to the `Smiths`. Sometimes when i wake up i think she is next to me, then i realise she is gone. There is a good chance that i may run into her this week. I am not looking forward to the feelings that will evoke. Take care my friend. Haydn Everything you said is me 100%. I go through those same feelings every single day. I feel bipolar lol
Cali408 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Mine was broken after 24 days which is a record. She called me. I refuse to call her, but will take her call anytime. No big deal, start over. You know you'll feel better at about a week. It gets easier every time you start, because you know what you went through. As someone said, it's the hangover afterward, where you're messed up for a couple of days. I can speak to my ex as a friend, literally. But then a couple hours later, I start reflecting and the cloud stays for a couple of days. Make it a game. Try to do set a record. Soon enough, you'll lose count. We all just keep fighting. No big deal honey, Big Hug for you. 1
Author AnnaAnna Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Mine was broken after 24 days which is a record. She called me. I refuse to call her, but will take her call anytime. No big deal, start over. You know you'll feel better at about a week. It gets easier every time you start, because you know what you went through. As someone said, it's the hangover afterward, where you're messed up for a couple of days. I can speak to my ex as a friend, literally. But then a couple hours later, I start reflecting and the cloud stays for a couple of days. Make it a game. Try to do set a record. Soon enough, you'll lose count. We all just keep fighting. No big deal honey, Big Hug for you. Last 3 weeks have been the hardest but in a strange way some of the best days too. Worst because I miss him and the best because I don't have to deal with all the drama. I can focus on me now and I know my self esteem is coming back slowly. Being rejected made me think there was something wrong with me. Thank you for your kind words. Hugs for you too
Haydn Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I have been to the pub and through the wonders of alcohol I have not contacted her! Anna, one reason i didnt was because of the book `starter for 10`. I laughed so hard i thought i would explode. Dont know if you know the story if not i wont spoil it for you. But read it! Take care of you. Haydn Well, I woke up this morning and there was a message from him. Nothing special just " I'm doing good".I regret messaging him at all but at least I tried. I really have nothing to look forward to in this relationship and I have to move on. Back to NC starting today. Thanks everybody for being there for me 1
sambo77 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Don't worry about that Anna. That's nothing in the grand scheme of things. NC isn't a religion remember...it is the opinion of some that it might be the best way to move on. That can never be any more than "an opinion." It may have become consensus...but opinions have a habit of doing that! Think it's called politics. Hey...I broke NC last night too...told my ex I still have feelings for her and asked if she feels we have another shot...despite being online and saying she didn't mind if I asked her something...she just ignored me outright. Ouch. Not even a "no." Well, for me that moment will be instrumental in me moving on. I finally realised how cruel she's being. You did nothing wrong...you were thinking about him and you sent a text...that's normal...doesn't make you a freak! 2
ponchsox Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I broke NC again today. It's very hard to do. But I can tell you that I am texting her less than I was right after our breakup. Each day that goes by it gets a little easier to cope with. I'm actually starting to look at the big picture now. 1
Mr Scorpio Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I just don't know anymore! Yes you do. Behold! I can honestly move on right now knowing there was nothing I could have said or done to save this relationship. 1
Author AnnaAnna Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 I have been to the pub and through the wonders of alcohol I have not contacted her! Anna, one reason i didnt was because of the book `starter for 10`. I laughed so hard i thought i would explode. Dont know if you know the story if not i wont spoil it for you. But read it! Take care of you. Haydn I don't know it but I will look it up. Sounds interesting and I love to laugh Thanks
Author AnnaAnna Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 Don't worry about that Anna. That's nothing in the grand scheme of things. NC isn't a religion remember...it is the opinion of some that it might be the best way to move on. That can never be any more than "an opinion." It may have become consensus...but opinions have a habit of doing that! Think it's called politics. Hey...I broke NC last night too...told my ex I still have feelings for her and asked if she feels we have another shot...despite being online and saying she didn't mind if I asked her something...she just ignored me outright. Ouch. Not even a "no." Well, for me that moment will be instrumental in me moving on. I finally realised how cruel she's being. You did nothing wrong...you were thinking about him and you sent a text...that's normal...doesn't make you a freak! It sucks no matter how you look at it. I know he will reply to my messages no matter what. That's why I try not to write. I don't want breadcrumbs. Btw, he just messaged me earlier asking how I'm doing. Seriously, I think I opened the gates to hell lol... Thank you for replying, I appreciate all the nice words. Hope you're doing better than me.
Author AnnaAnna Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 I broke NC again today. It's very hard to do. But I can tell you that I am texting her less than I was right after our breakup. Each day that goes by it gets a little easier to cope with. I'm actually starting to look at the big picture now. Very true. Every day it gets easier and easier. Just hand in there. We can get through this
Author AnnaAnna Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 Yes you do. Behold! I see what you did there Mr Scorpio... Smart man Thanks
lilmisscantbewrong Posted October 24, 2013 Posted October 24, 2013 Mine was broken after 24 days which is a record. She called me. I refuse to call her, but will take her call anytime. No big deal, start over. You know you'll feel better at about a week. It gets easier every time you start, because you know what you went through. As someone said, it's the hangover afterward, where you're messed up for a couple of days. I can speak to my ex as a friend, literally. But then a couple hours later, I start reflecting and the cloud stays for a couple of days. Make it a game. Try to do set a record. Soon enough, you'll lose count. We all just keep fighting. No big deal honey, Big Hug for you. Cali - I am curious - you say you refuse to call her but you will take her calls - why is that?
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