LoveTKO Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 @Raena - just divorce yourself from this situation ASAP and don't give into the whole game playing with the Twitter feeds and what not. You're dealing with an unstable person who revels in drama. Don't worry about where they had sex but just focus on the big picture and net effect; details will only drive you crazy. From a male perspective, it is rather peculiar that your SO would actually put up with the type of unstable behavior pattern his lover exhibited. If I were in his shoes realizing what a nutcase she is, it would have been sex one, two, three times and then just cut her off. It says a lot about him and what he's willing to put up with. She didn't become this way overnight and this blackmail story sounds a bit fishy in the sense that anyone with some game and backbone wouldn't put up with a loose canon like her. 1
LoveTKO Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 All of this drama over a guy who can't afford a bed and a couch? I'm sorry, but someday I think you will look back on losing this guy as a good thing. And I don't mean because he can't afford to buy a bed. Some people are "off" but they know how to hide it, you only find out how far "off" they are when you really get to know them well. Other people are flat-out crazy and everybody knows it within 10 minutes of meeting them. I think other woman falls into the flat-out-crazy-and-everybody-knows-it category. So what does that say about your cheating boyfriend? Bingo!! The SO has to be a bit whacked out too in order to screw around with a powder keg personality. He sacrificed a lot but he probably felt that his lover was a good fit - says a lot about him 1
Steadfast Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 You're doing what a lot of people do when things go badly; pile on more trouble. Like it isn't bad enough that your lover cheated and lied? He's the problem, not the inanimate objects associated with the situation. It is understandable however. In my case, I hated my exes phone and brand of automobile (one of) her lovers drove. At times, I focused on that more than the actual actions and decisions she made. Eventually, in a very 'hair of the dog' way, I purchased the same exact phone and bought a truck the same make and color as the one I hated (great truck!). I made them mine. These things didn't conspire against you, but it can feel that way. A bed is a very personal thing. I'd say rip the bedding or even the mattress off, or just replace the whole thing. While you're at it, upgrade the SO too. 2
BetrayedH Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 I burned the couch. I suggest you do the same with the mattress. I also agree with Artie, the betrayed husband deserves all of the information. God only knows what lies she is telling him while playing him for a fool. 3
underwater2010 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 From everything you posted it sounds like she was in your house. And probably everything that went with it. Let him go. Quit looking at her feeds. Save up for a futon and start moving on. I know it hurts....hugs. But he is just as bad as she is....hell he brought her into your house. I agree with others that you NEED to tell her husband. It is not about causing more drama. It is about giving him information that he needs. 1
rumbleseat Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 There are some other women who take great pride in sleeping in the bed that the married man shares with his wife. I don't think that very many do,but the few that do have some serious issues. Best to move on form both of them. It may be intensely painful now, but in time, you will feel better. 1
Author Raena Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 This woman sounds very much like someone who would. Bit it takes two to make that decision. Agreed. She certainly seems like the type of person who would get a huge thrill out of doing it with him in my bed. And yes, that would have had to have been his decision as well. He and I talked again this morning briefly. I asked him again if she had ever been in this house and he denied it. He said he never wanted her to be here. Thinking back on it, he never really knew if and when I would come walking back into the house and I did do that periodically. He knows that I am very close with one of our neighbors who is retired. She is home all the time and watches us like a hawk. If he had had company here, she would have noticed and said something to me about it. She almost always comes out to talk to us when she sees us outside, so maybe he didn't, maybe he did. I will eventually replace the furniture regardless. 1
Author Raena Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 I had an A. The Physical (sex) started about a month or so in and our last time was six weeks after that. We had lots of oppurtunity and never did anything on my property. Which I am very thankful now. Besides that I discovered through my cheaters forum that many WS qctually do draw the line at the marital bed. Some even the house. I the cleansing ceremony helps you and saves some money go for it. As to the comment about crazy people taking time to know. Sometimes people are made crazy by allowing themselves to be involved in an A. Affairs themselves can turn people crazy. But i agree, this broad sounds crazy from the first meeting. Maybe the WH likes crazy? Some men do. It's funny that you say that because that is pretty much exactly what she said to me in one of her random drive by fb messages to me.
goodyblue Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 I was OW an never, EVER did we go to his home. It may seem hypocritical, but that is just a line that should not be crossed. I also never Googled her or looked for any social media. We're not all stalkers. I'm sorry you're dealing with this. I know we caused the BS in our situation pain. Granted, the marriage was dead, but I still feel bad. I'm glad we've moved on. I hope she does too. 1
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