Twen Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 A bit of background information. We're in out mid-20's, neither one of us has been in a serious relationship. She’s nervous about a relationship. She told her friend that she wouldn't know how to act if one came up... I'm quite experienced with women, just have never gotten attached. She's not a virgin either. lol Let's begin. Over the summer I work at a seasonal job. It closes in October-last week mind you. I got to know this girl that I work with quite well. I also knew she had a crush on me for quite awhile. She has always been shy and a little nervous around me. The attraction started to build at work. She began texting me at random times, etc. Then one night she threw a work party at her house. We were all drunk and I ended up sleeping over-with her. Her best friend told her to take it slow, so all we did was kiss and sleep. We hung out one time after that, and it went well. I kissed her and things seemed great for week. I asked her on a formal date. I think I put too much pressure on her.. I told her it was a surprise, etc. Being nervous about a relationship I think this scared her quite a bit. The day before the date. she says she doesn’t think its what she wants and we should just be friends. OUCH! I acted as if it didn’t bother me, and carried on as my cheerful self. After reading some materials on the internet, I believe it was because I came across as the “nice guy”... too available, not enough of a challenge, and too insecure/needy. Or because she was scared about the relationship.. I acted cool and aloof, didn't pay her any special attention, and went about my days as usual. I was cheerful so she could see the guy she was missing out on. And the confidence I exuded would hopefully make her see me in a different light. I even dated a couple girls during this time and let a few of my colleagues know about this.. This of course would get back to her. About a month had past and I got the first subtle clue. She stared at me from a distance, when I looked up she quickly averted her eyes downward. BUSTED! lol Another couple weeks past and I got more signs.. Her looking at me, being friendlier with me, and bumping into me. Her friend’s actions may have been a bit of an indication as well. Another week goes by and she starts planning an end of the year work party (this was last week). At this point, the signs really start pouring in. Eye contact, body language, talkative, even sexual gestures that really got my attention. I was certain she was making an effort to regain my interest. It worked. All things in place for the party and she really seemed like she wanted me there. the night before the party, she texts me while she was out at the bar with her friends around midnight. The text was about nothing important and didn't really merit a response. I thought to myself I WIN! lol. I texted her back the next day (day of the party) but got no response. So at the party, she's nervous around me, a little flirty but nothing like the last one. I overheard her saying to one of her friends, "am I flirting with him too much?" But that's all I heard. The night goes on and a couple of her friends give me the "head tilt" indication to go for it again. So I do. This time though, I initiated it. I got into her bed and we started fooling around. We didn't have sex, buuuutt... I'll spare you the details. We were drunk and it was a late night. She had to work really early in the morning. I woke up with her, kissed her, and went home. I texted her later that evening, saying I had fun, and I hoped her day was alright. She texted me the next morning, saying "sorry her phone died, she had fun too..." Weird. We all know a girl's phone is her lifeline. But being that we had no sleep and she worked a full day I thought nothing of it. A few more days pass and I text her saying hi, and wondering if she is going out with our friends this weekend, The conversation was short, but I found out that she was going. The next Saturday rolls around and I get a text from her best friend (the one mentioned before) asking me if I was going out too. I said yes. Her best friend never texts me. So they arrive together and I assume she texted me on her behalf (keep in mind at this point she is even more nervous than she was before). The night progresses and I can see her looking at me and laughing at all my jokes, even the lame ones. I bought her a few drinks, and led her to and from the dance floor by holding her hand. After this I start to notice her follow my lead (ex.. sit beside me when I walked off etc.) At this point, her best friend comes up to me and says, "so I heard what happened after the party, how do you feel about it?.." I simply shrugged it off and said I don't know what to think. She asks, "well who initiated it?.." I said she did. She responds, "ya sometimes when she drinks she tends to be really forward" (This is the same friend who told me to go for it in the first place, and the same friend who told her to take it slow when we first slept together). So this could either mean, she rushed it in the sack, or she was drunk so don't expect anything. I'm thinking her friend is working for her and wanted to know if I still like her, but I don't know. I'm optimistically pessimistic, or pessimistically optimistic. Her friend is also a reasonable, leveled headed person. I feel like she would tell her not to lead me on.. When we leave the bar, she said she didn't want me to drive home and she would drive me to my car in the morning. I'd say we weren't drunk at this point but definitely tipsy (I think by now I know when she's really drunk). 4 of us hopped in a cab and headed for home. She sat in the middle and I sat beside her. I put my arm around her. We dropped one friend off first. She didn't move to the vacant seat near the door, she stayed glued to me. I leaned is for a kiss, and she kissed back. She put her head on my shoulder and cuddled me a little. When we got close to my house, she looked up and kissed me this time. I got out, paid, said goodnight and went home. Her best friend slept over at her house that night. A little later I got a text saying let me know when you want me to drive you in the morning. In the morning, at 9am, she texted me asking me if I was awake yet (obviously to go pick up my car).. Of course I wasn't, I didn't get up til about 11. I texted her asking her to come by when I woke up, but I didn't get a response from her for about an hour. She said that she couldn't do it now, she forgot she had a lunch date with her aunt. I said no problem. So here is where I’m at now. Mixed signals from a girl who once rejected me. We haven't been texting all that much, as a matter of fact it seems like we're both playing a game lol.. Neither one of us wants to seem to eager. After all, last weekend she had her friend text me, this should be an obvious sign, but I cannot ever tell. She is quite nervous around me, possibly even more so than before. But she could also be thinking that I just want to hook up with her, or vice versa. I don't know. Maybe she's unsure how to act after rejecting me once. Bottom line, WHAT THE HELL!? does she like me? How do I handle this? Thanks! Sorry this was so long
chados Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 dear god man, use the space button while typing:) this is why nobody will answer you. because it takes 15 minutes to read properly. it could be so many things. maybe she is scared to comit but honestly i think that you should be careful. been in this situation before. im guessing she is unsure about it. and i dont think you should pay for everything. why? because she is not gonna like you because of that. youre just gonna be nice. you said something about being needy. well you are right now. you dont need to text her the next day. let her text you. and you dont have to answer right away. and dont text like this.. what are you doing? im at the store, what are you doing? make it short and let her work for it if she wants it. and build up some attraction. dont just make out with her every time youre drunk, joke with her and give her a pat on the back, then walk away. hang with other people and talk to them. let her initiate contact if she wants to talk. if you gotta kiss her, give her a kiss on the cheek. dont completely focus on her. im in a happy relationship since two years back, but man you cant say dating isnt fun.
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