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HtotheN

By HtotheN
in Infidelity

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HtotheN Established Member

HtotheN

Posted
Posted

Reality has finally sunken into WH's head that I am not going to do what I always did in the past (letting things "pass" and continue on). I referenced something last night in a question and ended the question with "when we split up". My entire purpose for the question was to let him know that we are indeed splitting up/divorcing.

 

One thing that I need to bring up is the bills because he said in the email message that he will start paying half when he leaves. I am not working and I will be re-entering the work force but until then, he needs to pay all as he has been doing. He needs to keep me in the manner to which I have become accustomed, etc, etc.

 

This afternoon, he sent me an email message stating that he nows realizes where we are headed, and he included a list of personal belongings that he wants to take. I am so glad, but also freaking out a little bit. I have never been good with change, which is part of the reason for staying with him for as long as I have. We will be talking tonight. Wish me luck!

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Furious Established Member

Furious

Posted
Posted
Reality has finally sunken into WH's head that I am not going to do what I always did in the past (letting things "pass" and continue on). I referenced something last night in a question and ended the question with "when we split up". My entire purpose for the question was to let him know that we are indeed splitting up/divorcing.

 

One thing that I need to bring up is the bills because he said in the email message that he will start paying half when he leaves. I am not working and I will be re-entering the work force but until then, he needs to pay all as he has been doing. He needs to keep me in the manner to which I have become accustomed, etc, etc.

 

This afternoon, he sent me an email message stating that he nows realizes where we are headed, and he included a list of personal belongings that he wants to take. I am so glad, but also freaking out a little bit. I have never been good with change, which is part of the reason for staying with him for as long as I have. We will be talking tonight. Wish me luck!

 

 

I hope you've consulted a lawyer and proceed with a seperation agreement that is in writing.

 

If not, I urge you to seek legal counsel and be informed as to where you stand.

 

I'm sorry it has come to this. Divorce isn't pretty and is very traumatizing even if you're sure it's what you must do in order to move forward in your life.

 

Please do not accept a verbal agreement as this may backfire on you. If you are serious you must handle it through a legal and binding avenue.

 

At this point you need more than luck, you need a reputable lawyer to ensure a fair and equitable settlement on your behalf.

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Spark1111 Established Member

Spark1111

Posted
Posted

many states now have mediation where you pay a fraction of the cost and attorney basically tells you exactly how the court will decide alimony, maintenance and division of assets.

 

if you both sign, it is put forth to the court and awaits approval. Done and over.

 

Find one today. Some of these attorneys will give one free advisory session.

 

Are you in a no fault state?

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HtotheN Established Member

HtotheN

Posted
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Posted

Thanks to furious and spark1111. We are going to use a mediator, and I am going to use the grounds of adultery. (WH already knows that). I neglected to mention that in my original post due to feeling so spastic at the time.) I so wish that I could hibernate for the winter and wake up a few months from now and find that everything had already been taken care of, but I have my big girl pants on.

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Furious Established Member

Furious

Posted
Posted (edited)
Thanks to furious and spark1111. We are going to use a mediator, and I am going to use the grounds of adultery. (WH already knows that). I neglected to mention that in my original post due to feeling so spastic at the time.) I so wish that I could hibernate for the winter and wake up a few months from now and find that everything had already been taken care of, but I have my big girl pants on.

 

 

Using a mediator is a good choice. Hoping you can reach a fair and timely agreement that you are satisfied with.

 

Stay strong, take it one day at a time, and know you can get through this. Try to be good to yourself and lean on close family and friends for emotional support.

 

Hugs

Edited by Furious
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