Confusedbeyondbelief Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Has anyone on here ever cheated on their significant other, they found out, you worked through it, and then you never cheated again? If so, did that relationship last?
Simon Phoenix Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 So because we aren't giving you what you want to hear you are going to start a new thread? I mean, maybe he won't cheat on his next girlfriend, but he'll definitely cheat on you. I mean, why wouldn't he? He knows he can get away with it because he knows you don't have the strength or the backbone to stand up for yourself 3
Author Confusedbeyondbelief Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 So because we aren't giving you what you want to hear you are going to start a new thread? I mean, maybe he won't cheat on his next girlfriend, but he'll definitely cheat on you. I mean, why wouldn't he? He knows he can get away with it because he knows you don't have the strength or the backbone to stand up for yourself That's not why I started this thread. I really want to know if it is possible to rebuild the trust, start over, and have things work out. I'm just a mess right now and am trying to work through everything and make the best decision possible.
happydate Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Has anyone on here ever cheated on their significant other, they found out, you worked through it, and then you never cheated again? If so, did that relationship last?[/quote There is a reason why they cheat! The person never loved you or liked you in the first place and after the honeymoon period passed, he or she prowls for a new guy or a new gal but too chicken to end the relationship because he or she wants to have the cake and eat it too. For a man, he get to get the pussy and companionship and for women, he gets the wand plus money if her other dude is loaded. Will it heal? Well look at Kate plus 8. It never worked out anyhow, because cheating is a serious offense. It breaks trust. Without trust, the relationship will die.
Author Confusedbeyondbelief Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Has anyone on here ever cheated on their significant other, they found out, you worked through it, and then you never cheated again? If so, did that relationship last?[/quote There is a reason why they cheat! The person never loved you or liked you in the first place and after the honeymoon period passed, he or she prowls for a new guy or a new gal but too chicken to end the relationship because he or she wants to have the cake and eat it too. We were still inthe honeymoon phase! We started dating in November, and according to her, that's when he started reaching out gradually to her. At fist I was ok with it thinking he was casually dating bothof us, but then we became an official item. According to her, they became very serious and spending a lot of time together in march/April. That's when he started telling her things that he was also telling me. I know they were having sex by April, but not sure exactly when it started.
odin673 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Maybe yes, maybe no. There is no way to predict the future. You don't have any kids with this guy. Why are you sticking around? What are you trying to salvage? This guy cheated on you when you were "new and exciting". What do you think will happen down the road if you stuck around?
happydate Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) We were still inthe honeymoon phase! We started dating in November, and according to her, that's when he started reaching out gradually to her. At fist I was ok with it thinking he was casually dating bothof us, but then we became an official item. According to her, they became very serious and spending a lot of time together in march/April. That's when he started telling her things that he was also telling me. I know they were having sex by April, but not sure exactly when it started. But do you really care when he started having sex either? When multiple women love the same man, the man can always say the same few lines of words because both of you are so into him. I once dated a woman who was so deep into me that even I had a cold, she would kiss passionately with me and even was willing to have hot shower unprotected sex with me so to help me get well. It's amazing what hot shower sex can help clear sinus passages and headaches. Initially I refused because I didn't want to get her sick cause I really cared about her well being. Well, we ended up doing that and while she got my cold afterwards after I got well, she never felt remorseful what we did. Why, because when you deeply love someone, you will blindly look past any problems because your concern is to make him happy. That is you. What you are doing here is that, you are projecting your deep love of him that he would deeply love you. But ACTIONS SPEAK LOUDER than WORDS. His actions is the reverse of what he's telling you. Always look at actions. I always do and with women, you can tell if their actions start to conflict their words, you are then very close to on your way out. You are already on the way out or out already, but he knew you would stick around like a love sick puppy. He chose you and the other girl for this reason. I'm sorry you have to hear this, but this is what is happening. There are other guys out there who will treat you right and care for you. Now, don't waste time caring for a cheater. Do the same thing to a great guy and he'll take care of you and you alone. Edited October 21, 2013 by happydate
veggirl Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) So basically he was NEVER faithful to you! He had another girlfriend the whole time! WTF NO someone like that will not change ANYtime soon! Is he in counseling or anything to figure out why he is such a selfish, lying bastard? Can you please explain to me his reasoning behind carrying on 2 relationships at once? How did he justify that to you? How can you say he cheated "once"? He had another girlfriend! Edited October 21, 2013 by veggirl 1
Simon Phoenix Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 The best decision is to run. But you won't because you have no dignity, self-respect or boundaries and are co-dependent. 2
aybc123 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Has anyone on here ever cheated on their significant other, they found out, you worked through it, and then you never cheated again? If so, did that relationship last? I think it depends on the situation. Drunkenly kissing someone, regretting it immediately and either telling your partner or breaking up with them out of guilt of not telling them is a lot different to having an affair over several months behind someones back and lying about it. At one end of the spectrum the person is likely to feel so horrendously bad about it that they probably wont do it again and will avoid any situations where they feel tempted. At the other end, yeah they probably will just because it's obviously in their nature.
KatZee Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 We were still inthe honeymoon phase! We started dating in November, and according to her, that's when he started reaching out gradually to her. At fist I was ok with it thinking he was casually dating bothof us, but then we became an official item. According to her, they became very serious and spending a lot of time together in march/April. That's when he started telling her things that he was also telling me. I know they were having sex by April, but not sure exactly when it started. You were never in a honeymoon phase with this person. Everything you think you were in, WAS A LIE. You really need to grasp that fact. He was cheating on you since virtually day one. A person who is genuinely in love, who cares for, respects, and cherishes their partner, DOES NOT REACH OUT TO OTHER PEOPLE. Furthermore, not all cheaters who cheat once will do it again, but there is also the type of person who is a habitual cheater. Your boyfriend falls into that category. Although it's no less painful, those who have "one night stands" and who are so racked with guilt and remorse, are capable of changing and never doing it again. Your guy didn't have a one night stand! He was carrying on a whole double life outside of you. He was out screwing another person, and maybe even MORE! for MONTHS. People like this don't change. You're not going to miraculously have some wonderful relationship now that someone outed him. He's only going to become sneakier. Again, where was his remorse and guilt and his "sorry" when he was out with his dick in someone else? Oh that's right, HE DIDN'T HAVE ANY. Stay with him and he WILL cheat on you again. That is a 110% guarantee. 1
aybc123 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I think it depends on the situation. Drunkenly kissing someone, regretting it immediately and either telling your partner or breaking up with them out of guilt of not telling them is a lot different to having an affair over several months behind someones back and lying about it. At one end of the spectrum the person is likely to feel so horrendously bad about it that they probably wont do it again and will avoid any situations where they feel tempted. At the other end, yeah they probably will just because it's obviously in their nature. And yes the first part (kissing someone when drunk) refers to me with an ex, I think hurting her by doing that is one of the single biggest regrets of my life and I never ever want to hurt anyone like that again, and wont. I guess you could say I tried it and it was not for me. The relationship didn't last btw, even though I was forgiven, we broke up for other reasons eventually.
Recommended Posts