K Os Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) Here's a thought - We talk a lot about our betrayers and how very annoying it is that they try to get away with as little guilt as possible for the pain and suffering they have caused us, our (and their) own children, and our wider families. But in this cosmos you do reap what you sow, and how much guilt you try to dodge for your bad deeds is really neither here nor there. Full repayment will be extracted from you somewhere down the line. In the criminal justice system that we have decided as a society is somehow more or less fair, showing no remorse actually increases your jail time. Think about it. When you are really really hating them, and if you ever loved them, try to minimize your own suffering. It reduces what they owe. Or don't, and increase it a bit. Don't worry, be happy Edited October 21, 2013 by K Os
TaraMaiden Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I like the essence of your post, but take a moment to read the second link in my signature....
dienstag Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Hmm... sounds interesting and complicated I am going for the good old <being good>. You know, dont fall as low as he/she did. If he is a cheater doesnt mean you have to do the same. Stay true to yourself and your beliefs/principles whatever- get through this difficult times without loosing your substance and when it is over, you will value this even more. 2
Author K Os Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Absolutely My point is that we needn't get hung up about how much guilt they feel or don't feel. Any payback for causing suffering will be the same either way. Be good, and good things will come. 1
littlejaz Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I hope it works that way. I have tried to do everything as fairly and legally as possible. My STBXH, on the other hand, has broken all the rules, stolen our retirement fund, tried to give assets to his mother to hide them from me, etc. Our court date is next month, so we'll see how it goes. I am still holding out a small bit of hope that we can settle before going to court, but just like a marriage it takes two and so far he has not negotiated at all. Guess he would rather face the 3 counts of contempt of court. Anyway, I have to look at myself in the mirror everyday and I refuse to taint the view because of him. 1
Author K Os Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 I like the essence of your post, but take a moment to read the second link in my signature.... Where's that, Tara? I may have read it before but I'm sure I could do with it again
Author K Os Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 My STBXH, on the other hand, has broken all the rules... Funny how this seems to be a common trend. I suppose once you decide it's ok to trash your marriage, all sorts of other boundaries start to shift.
littlejaz Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Funny how this seems to be a common trend. I suppose once you decide it's ok to trash your marriage, all sorts of other boundaries start to shift. It amazes how that seems to be the case. I was shocked enough at the things he did to trash our marriage and his job, but I really can't wrap my head around what he has done since I filed for divorce.
William Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Where's that, Tara? I may have read it before but I'm sure I could do with it again Here you go: Sila, Samadhi, and Prajna. "To abstain from all evil, to cultivate good, and to purify one's mind." 1:New Updated No Contact Guide 2013 and 2:It's that karma word again!
Author K Os Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 2:It's that karma word again! Oh yes, I thought it was that. Thanks, William. Yeah, I know, Tara. I still just use the word as shorthand, as so many of us annoyingly do. This thread has been moved to 'General Relationship Discussion', which is fair enough. Does this mean I have started Moving On?
dienstag Posted October 23, 2013 Posted October 23, 2013 Hey littlejaz I am sorry for you as this is one of the worse situations to be in, when the other party in the divorce loses anything moral / human. Even if you also tried to play by the dirty rules he would still have done the same. Could you really win this dirty game ? You have got to be that type with no boundaries, if you are not - dont go to muddy waters. Go the way you know and can try to fight him - all 3 courts or give up and move on. Stay strong - stay true
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