Chi townD Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 Wow! He found a flat for 590 a month? I'm REALLY shocked he didn't ask you for that amount for a down payment! You don't deserve his friendship? I would have shot back, "Me and my wallet thank you for that."
singme2sleep Posted November 14, 2013 Posted November 14, 2013 When a giver and a taker get together, someone is bound to get the life sucked out of them. Accomplished takers are quite clever in masking themselves. Good men appreciate, value and love their girlfriends and wives. There is a balance of giving and taking which is mutually healthy. Each experience is good information. I agree with this! My ex was def a taker, especially in the end. I can relate to the OP, but I didn't pay his bills. However I was a very good girlfriend, never cheated and never would've. I was always there for him and maybe girls like us do give too much of ourselves, yet we love with all we have. Some of his final bull**** words to me were "you're a sweet girl...you're a sweet girl." In a effed up way, I think he'd rather be with a bad girl type. It's like that book *Why Men Love Bitches* Anyway my advice to the OP is to not be too hard on yourself, I believe there's somebody out there who will appreciate you.
Author faithfully Posted November 16, 2013 Author Posted November 16, 2013 I agree with this! My ex was def a taker, especially in the end. I can relate to the OP, but I didn't pay his bills. However I was a very good girlfriend, never cheated and never would've. I was always there for him and maybe girls like us do give too much of ourselves, yet we love with all we have. Some of his final bull**** words to me were "you're a sweet girl...you're a sweet girl." In a effed up way, I think he'd rather be with a bad girl type. It's like that book *Why Men Love Bitches* Anyway my advice to the OP is to not be too hard on yourself, I believe there's somebody out there who will appreciate you. Yep i think you r right, the mistake we made is, we r just too nice and we try and support our so called man, well not really but a selfish take take pig!! We live and learn dont we 1
singme2sleep Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Yep i think you r right, the mistake we made is, we r just too nice and we try and support our so called man, well not really but a selfish take take pig!! We live and learn dont we We certainly do. I learned from the relationship & the breakup. There's a saying that goes "You find out who someone really is, when they're walking away." 1
mutualove Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 I could say the same thing about you,because I was almost always good to her,treated her well,and in the end she GIGS or something I don't know.But in hindsight,sometimes I wonder if we should be "less" good to you in order for you to appreciate us more but not the other way around. 1
Author faithfully Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 I could say the same thing about you,because I was almost always good to her,treated her well,and in the end she GIGS or something I don't know.But in hindsight,sometimes I wonder if we should be "less" good to you in order for you to appreciate us more but not the other way around. to be honest with you, I don't care!!! this is an old post and am moving on. but yeahh the mistake is don't lose your self respect coz people or partner wont respect you. don't be tooo giving and keeping silent and excepting the bull****. we live and learn and I am and now know and understand, and except what I did wrong, and so should you too [COLOR=#990000][/COLOR]
Author faithfully Posted November 17, 2013 Author Posted November 17, 2013 To me you are not a good gf. You are some one who dates bad boys who use and abuse you, then cry about men not appreciating good women. Please don't date guys like your ex. Have some self respect. I'm almost 2 months out of a bad relationship myself. I point the finger at myself for staying in it. to you but I know myself better- only ever had 3 boyfriend. 1st was one of the nicest guy, loved me but didn't physically found him attractive and thought maybe with time I will. wasn't a bad boy 1bit 2nd ex- was older than me, I was 25 and he was 40, didn't want kids or get married as he been there done it. wasn't a bad boy just wanted different things in life. 3rd ex- I didn't know he was gonna turn out like this so for you to say I date bad boys is wrong. this is a learning kurb, am still young and learning. if you read my other post you will see how happy and glad I was indeed treated the way I was and finally dumped as its opened my eyes in a big way. i'm not mad, bitter, sad if anything am grateful its over now than in another 10years when I am in debt to my eyeballs. this is a life experience and sometimes you have to meet frogs to find the prince
KathyM Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 sometimes you have to meet frogs to find the prince True, that people go through some frogs before finding their prince, but I'll add to that, as soon as you recognize that what you've caught is a frog, throw him back into the pond. No good can come from hanging onto a frog. When you are preoccupied with the frog, you won't be available to look for your prince. And I'll also add that don't go fishing in a pond that you know only frogs inhabit, and don't mess around with a frog hoping he'll change into a prince.
xUnknown Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 I haven't read the whole thread, but I just want to say that if you put up with men who are losers or dependent on you, they lose respect for you. When you put up with crap from men, they lose respect for you. You may think they should be grateful for what you have done for them or what you have put up with from them, but in actuality, they lose respect for you because you allowed them to take advantage of you, and you enabled their irresponsible behavior. Men are not attracted to that. They may take advantage of your generosity for awhile, but their lost respect for you will eventually cause the relationship to crumble, and they'll want out, because not only do they not have respect for you, but you serve as a reminder of what a loser they are, and they don't want to be reminded of that. I'm slowly starting to realize that my ex was this way. I was the one in Faith's shoes (but being a guy).
hotpotato Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 I can sympathize. The last ex said no other girl had been as nice to him as I was. Then he promptly left. Not only that, but he was flirting on fb back and forth with his new gf. He was dating us at the same time. Yep. Mmm hmm he cheated on the girl who was so nice to him. We were long distance, about 1000 miles away. He went through the trouble of getting a girl in my state rather than keep on dating me or even get someone in his state. Some people are pricks, i swear.
Woggle Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 I very much appreciate a good woman and I make sure I show that to her everyday. Genuinely good women deserve all the appreciation in the world. 1
Confusedguy81 Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Ive been **** on by girls before and I thought I was a pretty good guy. The problem is I am too nice and for whatever reason girls want more of the ******* bad boy type that makes them chase.
Never Again Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 I did. Appreciated everything she was and everything she did. To the point where I gave her tons of time and space to get ahead in her career...but when we saw each other more, she felt like the relationship lost momentum and, in turn, lost all romantic feelings for me. :-/ However, I do respect a girl that tells me when I'm not meeting her expectations. I'm not a mind reader, and silently suffering or pouting only frustrates both sides and leads to the end of a relationship.
Grumpybutfun Posted November 17, 2013 Posted November 17, 2013 Just soo confused on this: Why is it the good girlfriends get sh*+ on my their boyfriend?? Or why dont guys appreciate when they have a great girlfriend??? My ex said and says i am the best girlfriend hes ever had. I did everything for him, pay the rent, paid his bills and debt, he uses my car and i put petrol in it, cooked his dinner, he gets parking ticket on my car and i pay for it, give him spends, and drinking money and after all this he finishes with me. If i was the best thing thats ever happened to him why he walk away?? Just soo confused?? Any input will do?? Just curious What do you guys think?? faithfully: Being supportive is different than completely supporting a grown man. Relationships are about relating...back and forth. Give, take, give, take. Equally from both parties. You sound pathetic and desperate and no one wants a partner like that. Maybe a user will stick around long enough to use all you have, but as you saw, that is short lived. Figure out why you have no self-esteem. Figure out who taught you that a relationship is based on what you give all the time. You weren't a good girlfriend, you were an enabler for a user. Redefine your ideas about what a relationship looks like. Best, Grumps
Salvatore85 Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I think good guys appreciate good girlfriends but females far too often date douche bags because good guys are too nice or safe.... 1
hotpotato Posted November 18, 2013 Posted November 18, 2013 I think good guys appreciate good girlfriends but females far too often date douche bags because good guys are too nice or safe.... I've dated only nice guys or dorky guys, and it turned out the same.
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