faithfully Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Just soo confused on this: Why is it the good girlfriends get sh*+ on my their boyfriend?? Or why dont guys appreciate when they have a great girlfriend??? My ex said and says i am the best girlfriend hes ever had. I did everything for him, pay the rent, paid his bills and debt, he uses my car and i put petrol in it, cooked his dinner, he gets parking ticket on my car and i pay for it, give him spends, and drinking money and after all this he finishes with me. If i was the best thing thats ever happened to him why he walk away?? Just soo confused?? Any input will do?? Just curious What do you guys think??
Lizrd3000 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 it seems that good girlfriends are attracted to bad boyfriends, and good boyfriends to bad girlfriends! lol! nah just kidding. you have to look inside of yourself and see why you keep falling for the same type of guys everytime. 1
barky2 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 What do I think? I think this guy used the crap out of you,and you were to blind to see it. You thought u were doing the right thing by showing him love and doing whatever you could for him. The thing is, he took you for granted at some point. He stopped unfortunately caring for you and he started just using you. You have to realize this dude is toxic and you deserve more. Look in the mirror and repeat everything you did for him Then repeat what he has done for you.. Then tell me you're not pissed off. I'm sure when he needs something he'll come sniffing around. But it'll be for him,not for you. Cut it up as this, you see the real person and it didn't cost you half of your life if you guys were divorced. Now you can recognize red flags. Learn from it. You'll be fine. Barky 7
Philosoraptor Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Just because you're great doesn't mean someone wants to be with you. It's a hard lesson, but one you need to accept. Good on you for treating someone well, shows that you're a catch... just not for him as he has made the choice that as great as you may be, he doesn't want to be with you. I've walked away from great girls too, because as good as they were they were not a good match for me. Continue to be yourself and you will eventually find someone who is a good match for you. On a side note you should not be paying someone else's bills. That's just not a smart decision on your end and gives the potential for you to be used. 6
aaron11892 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Maybe he realised how lazy he was and wanted to get off his ass and start working 1
candie13 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 seems like you were all about him and none about you. So he stayed for a while, as it was comfortable... but then he must have gotten bored. Doormats aren't that entertaining. Apologies if I am very tough on you. I hope you've learnt smth from this experience
candie13 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 so that you know - many women may not give money and cars to their bfs, but they are responding to all other needs the guy may have. All about them, nothing about you. Been there, girl. Wake up.
Author faithfully Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 I did it coz he didnt have a job!!! And obv coz i loved him and love him. I always believe in a relarionship you be there to support your partner nooo matter what!! This is a big lesson for me and soo upsetting to be used. After telling him i can noo longer be giving him money he went to live with his mum. Told him ive not eaten for a week because i have noo money left he replied am gonna stay at my mums am not gonna starve. 1
Keenly Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I sure as hell appreciate it. But then I get cheated on. Now I'm completely indifferent.
Author faithfully Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Thanks for the reply i appreciate it. Real eye opener I did it coz he didnt have a job!!! And obv coz i loved him and love him. I always believe in a relarionship you be there to support your partner nooo matter what!! This is a big lesson for me and soo upsetting to be used. After telling him i can noo longer be giving him money he went to live with his mum. Told him ive not eaten for a week because i have noo money left he replied am gonna stay at my mums am not gonna starve Few weeks after staying at his mums he then dumped me by text. My mistake is am just tooo nice and thats why he walked all over me.
Babolat Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 What do you guys think?? I think you got used and gave WAY to much. Sorry for being blunt.
Author faithfully Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 I think you got used and gave WAY to much. Sorry for being blunt. Please be blunt. I prob deserve it for being tooo nice and thats what i get. Thats why ive come here. Dont sugar coat anything i nees to be told even if its harsh. I am willing to listen and change so the same thing doesnt happen again Thank you
carhill Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 What do you guys think?? When a giver and a taker get together, someone is bound to get the life sucked out of them. Accomplished takers are quite clever in masking themselves. Good men appreciate, value and love their girlfriends and wives. There is a balance of giving and taking which is mutually healthy. Each experience is good information. 1
JoelBarish Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I appreciate it. And my ex was a good girlfriend. She made or bought me gifts....went out of her way to spend time with me...spoiled me completely. And I treated her the same in turn. Yet she left me and has someone else now. All I can figure out is that must have thought she were getting a bigger, better deal. 1
Author faithfully Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 When a giver and a taker get together, someone is bound to get the life sucked out of them. Accomplished takers are quite clever in masking themselves. Good men appreciate, value and love their girlfriends and wives. There is a balance of giving and taking which is mutually healthy. Each experience is good information. Oh i am learning and learnt the hard way but i will read the thread. Saying that do you think he will ever realise he made a big mistake?? As not many people would have bent over backwards a guy that doea this to them. I have now gone no contact but its hard and upsetting a guy i did everything for can do to me
carhill Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Here's a harsh lesson I learned from women, here reversing the genders: Scary version? He let you love him. Look on the bright side. No marriage was involved.
Author faithfully Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Thanks for the reply guys. Really appreciate it!! Do you miss her?? And do you think he will ever regret treating me like a door mat??
Chi townD Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Just soo confused on this: Why is it the good girlfriends get sh*+ on my their boyfriend?? Or why dont guys appreciate when they have a great girlfriend??? My ex said and says i am the best girlfriend hes ever had. I did everything for him, pay the rent, paid his bills and debt, he uses my car and i put petrol in it, cooked his dinner, he gets parking ticket on my car and i pay for it, give him spends, and drinking money and after all this he finishes with me. If i was the best thing thats ever happened to him why he walk away?? Just soo confused?? Any input will do?? Just curious What do you guys think?? You did all of that for him?!?! Well,I have a question for you! Where the hell were you a few years when I was single! To be honest, he's not going to understand what a relationship is. It's a give and take kind of thing. And it should be equal and balanced. Problem is you were giving and all he did was take. You never learned how to say "NO" to him. Or maybe you did and that's why he's gone. Gravy train has pulled into the station. Now, I'm not saying you were wrong to do those things. But, what should have happened was something like this. You call into work because you're sick as a dog. You call your boyfriend and tell him you're sick. He says he'll be over after work. He shows up to your place with chicken soup. He also stopped of at the drug store and picked up some over the counter cold medicine for you. He even went as far as to pick up this months issue of Cosmo or some other girly mags that you like. Then, he has some sherbet Ice Cream to help sooth your sore throat. Finally, He picked up some movies that you've been wanting to see. He stays with you and takes care of you. Disregarding the possibility of getting sick himself, he curls up next to you and holds you while you watch a movie together. I have a feeling he never did anything remotely close to the above! He probably heard you were sick and stayed away because he didn't want to catch that sh*t! But, would expect you to do that kind of stuff for him! I will tell you this, do not lose that giving quality about yourself. I promise you that there is a guy out there that will appreciate that fact that there's a girl that knows how to take care of her man. And he would do the same for her. There are some guys out there that have the same giving spirit. So, stay away from the "bad boys". If you know you're a "good girlfriend" then you need to find a "good guy". 1
ColdAlone Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Honestly... I keep making the mistake that when things become a routine I take them for granted. That doesn't mean I don't love my gf, it just means it becomes 'normal' to me. I would never walk away tho.. I just forget to make an effort and keep things going...
Author faithfully Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Here's a harsh lesson I learned from women, here reversing the genders: Scary version? He let you love him. Look on the bright side. No marriage was involved. Yeaaahh have to agree with you there, we were never marries nor did we have any kids. What i dont understand is he told me his ex gf before me uses and rinsed him so he finished with her- so he says. So why do the same to mee??
JustaRegularGuyZ Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Just soo confused on this: Why is it the good girlfriends get sh*+ on my their boyfriend?? Or why dont guys appreciate when they have a great girlfriend??? My ex said and says i am the best girlfriend hes ever had. I did everything for him, pay the rent, paid his bills and debt, he uses my car and i put petrol in it, cooked his dinner, he gets parking ticket on my car and i pay for it, give him spends, and drinking money and after all this he finishes with me. If i was the best thing thats ever happened to him why he walk away?? Just soo confused?? Any input will do?? Just curious What do you guys think?? Would you be my girlfirend?
JoelBarish Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Yeah I miss her. As I said she treated me good. Maybe it would be easier if I hated her after everything but the truth is she wasn't a bad person. She just wanted someone else who wasn't me. If that makes her happy then ok. I wish her luck. Will your ex regret what he did? Well I can bet my ex who was good to me doesn't regret anything so I doubt your ex who was bad to you regrets anything.
Chris715 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I think you gave a lot to a guy who didn't appreciate you and didn't deserve it. When you find someone who really loves you they'll give back just as much, and more, as you give to them. To be honest I don't think that guy will miss you because he doesn't realize what he lost. Move on to someone more deserving.
Author faithfully Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 You did all of that for him?!?! Well,I have a question for you! Where the hell were you a few years when I was single! To be honest, he's not going to understand what a relationship is. It's a give and take kind of thing. And it should be equal and balanced. Problem is you were giving and all he did was take. You never learned how to say "NO" to him. Or maybe you did and that's why he's gone. Gravy train has pulled into the station. Now, I'm not saying you were wrong to do those things. But, what should have happened was something like this. You call into work because you're sick as a dog. You call your boyfriend and tell him you're sick. He says he'll be over after work. He shows up to your place with chicken soup. He also stopped of at the drug store and picked up some over the counter cold medicine for you. He even went as far as to pick up this months issue of Cosmo or some other girly mags that you like. Then, he has some sherbet Ice Cream to help sooth your sore throat. Finally, He picked up some movies that you've been wanting to see. He stays with you and takes care of you. Disregarding the possibility of getting sick himself, he curls up next to you and holds you while you watch a movie together. I have a feeling he never did anything remotely close to the above! He probably heard you were sick and stayed away because he didn't want to catch that sh*t! But, would expect you to do that kind of stuff for him! I will tell you this, do not lose that giving quality about yourself. I promise you that there is a guy out there that will appreciate that fact that there's a girl that knows how to take care of her man. And he would do the same for her. There are some guys out there that have the same giving spirit. So, stay away from the "bad boys". If you know you're a "good girlfriend" then you need to find a "good guy". Thanks for your reply. I am stupid!!! Very stupid and i made a big mistake by mothering him. I thought it was a way to show him i love him and i did very much. I wanted to be there and support and be there for him as he didnt have a job. I worked 60-70 hrs a week so he could have money to socialise!! I just loved this guy so guess love is blind!! Yeah ur right i didnt know how to say NO to him and when i finally did and couldnt afford to feed myself he left and went to his mother. This guy is not a child, he is nearly 30!!! Am 27 but a stupid 1!! When he was hungover i brought him KFC abd ran after him giving him drinks and putting him on the sofa to watch films. I was hungover and had to still make dinner for both of us!! I am learning harddd!!!
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