Speakingofwhich Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Crushed, I think you had a good chance with this woman. If you put energy and positive words into your texts or into your dates it will go a loooong way with the ladies! Someone suggested you counter with something like, "That's too bad, it's going to be a great party. How about let's do something next Saturday night?" It wasn't that exactly but it was a really good energetic text. Can't remember who suggested it but you should listen to that guy! Out of all the posters on this thread, that's the guy I'd like to spend an evening with! He's confident and enthusiastic, not scared to death some lady is going to think he likes her and then have "power" over him! Heck no! He's the one with the power and he's using it to get her out for the evening! Women love that! This lady told you several times she wanted there to be a next time. I wouldn't give up on it but you're going to have to show some energy and positive attitude. It seems you're expecting to be blown off and so your communication is reflecting that to me. It's a little flat. And, btw, there are ladies who will not contact you back even if they may want to be with you again. I am of that category. Not because I want to be chased. But, because I like a man with rip roaring testosterone who has a go out and conquer the world attitude. Not some little kid guy who likes to play games and is afraid to "chase a woman" for fear she'll think he likes her! Get out there and chase! It's fun! It's part of the mating dance! Ya! We want to be liked and desired! But, we like energy and enthusiasm and we respond to it! Go for it, Crushed! You can do it! Don't sit back like a limp dishrag as some are urging you to do. You've gotta keep up the energy! Don't wilt! You can have this woman!
Author Crushedjustcrushed Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 OP, For one I wouldn't appreciate a rejection phone call after 1 OLD date. It's just unnecessary and makes the person feel worse. Why not wait and see if a woman contacts you and then you can reject her via text. If I went on the first OLD and saw that the guy was calling me, I would think he is asking me out for sure. You may think you are being polite, but really you are not doing anyone any favors. I just decided I didn't want to be "that guy" who talks and texts with a girl, gets to know her a bit, goes on a date, and then just disappears and never calls or anything. I think, as adults, we can at least be honest with each other. Maybe even brutally honest. That's what I'd want, so, that's how I handle it. 1
Speakingofwhich Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 Speakingofwhich, that was a lame pump up speech. He has been communicating with her and has chased her with options for another hangout. She isn't biting. Dating is a 2-way street. She has to put in work as much as him. OP, don't chase. You have done enough. You'll just look desperate and annoying if you text her again after what her last response was. Let her come to you. And it is about power off of the start. It's the dating GAME! Not the dating-everything-is-roses-and-sweet. You have to be assertive, witty, mysterious and come from a place of power. It's what gets the girls. Be cocky and confident but not in an overbearing way. Show your personality, your humor, and your depth -- all in small doses. The energetic, super enthusiastic guy is sweet sure. At most he is entertaining and a nice guy. Girls don't want that! They want the guy who stands in his power and says how it's going to be and doesn't feed you tonnes of emotion. Let the woman be enthusiastic and emotional -- those are feminine traits. It wasn't a pump up speech! It's the truth! But, sigh. You're prob too young to understand! 1
jwizzle Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 So, how do I respond? I don't want to sound too desperate, but do want to give her the benefit of the doubt that she's not giving me the blow off. How OLD is she? I am 42 and figure in our age group it is POINTLESS to engage in a bunch of drama, games, and shenanigans. Just text back to her "thanks for letting me know." Leave it at that and move on. If she is interesting and not playing games, she will take the initiative to pursue you back. If you don't hear from her again, I guess she likes to play games and use dumb excuses (like grandma) to let you down easy.
jwizzle Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 ooops---looks like I should've read through all of the responses before I responded to you. Yeah - move on. She doesn't seem to be interested.
Author Crushedjustcrushed Posted October 23, 2013 Author Posted October 23, 2013 I guess I left out some info, that I found looking at my phone. After our dinner and drinks date on Friday, we did exchange a few texts. Friday I texted her when I got home that I hope she made it home w/o incident (we both had drank a few). She only had about a 5 minute drive, I had about an hour. She didn't reply until later saturday when she was at work. "Missed text last night. Out cold, enjoyed dinner and conversation. Next time I only get two "sweet" drinks. Enjoy day off, I'm jealous." I replied: "Lol. Glad you made it home. Hope you aren't feeling the effects too badly today. :)" Her: "Not too bad. Headache, I need to stick to my vodka. These prissy drinks are going to kill me, lol." Me: "Lol, well, I'm glad you liked the dinner and conversation, I already ate the leftovers for breakfast." Her: "Too funny. The bit of nausea I had from last night was too much to take mine home. Oh well, back to work, have a good day." Me: "Have a good day too." Then the next day (Sunday), i sent her a text (she was "supposedly" spending that day with grandma too at some family reunion thing - maybe grandma is code for "another guy," i dunno) that I hoped she had fun with grandma. The next text I got from her was on monday that she didn't get my text until late sunday night cuz the family reunion was in the sticks and she didn't have good service. And that was also the same text that she canceled on the party with, that started this whole thread. I'm guessing she was out with another guy on sunday, and decided he's the keeper. Her loss.
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