Becca72 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) My ex and I split over a couple of months ago now it was my doing and I regretted it immediately. We had been together 10 years and have 3 kids together. He was pretty hurt by my breaking us up and when I said I wanted to get back he felt like I was just clicking my fingers and expecting him to come running which I understood. I thought that things were getting better with us and we were working things out he would tell me he loved me and always talked about us and things we would do in the future like a normal couple does. I really thought we were working things out. We were still sleeping together too. Then one night I saw a message on his phone (yes I snooped but my gut was telling me something was up) it was obvious that he was seeing someone else. When I confronted him he didn't deny it said he was single and he didn't tell me as he didn't want to hurt me to him she was just a **** nothing more but I can tell to her it is more than that I tried telling him this but he said he has been clear with her the way things are and what she reads into it is not his problem. I know I shouldn't have but even after finding out about her we still continued to see each other and sleep together then about 2 weeks ago I discovered I was pregnant. He says that he wants to work things out but right now he is not going to be pressured into doing things just cos it's what I want he says things with her will end soon but in his time. I just think with me being now pregnant (he doesn't want me to have an abortion) that the time for being messed around is over. I have threatened to tell her but every time I do he says if I do that then any chance of us being together will be blown as he will not give in to ultimatums or demands by me he needs to do things when he is ready. I am just destroyed by this do you think I should tell her I want to I have come close several times but I love him and I know he is being horrible cos I hurt him but I am over being punished and think he is being selfish I don't want to continue this pregnancy with this twisted threesome the stress alone isn't good for me. Edited October 21, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
headinthecloud Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) You should seek a counsellor to talk with. He is a cheater and he's using your BU as an excuse. Your action of confronting him about the other woman and his response is "I'm single" and then continuing to have him part of your life says "ok. I accept this behaviour" so he will continue to be a cheater. He is also treating the other woman with compete disregard. There are no good excuses - none. Imagine what you would say or do if your daughter had posted this blog. Yes, you BU with him and he hasn't forgiven you. You need to decide what's healthy for you and your children. Stop looking for him to validate you as a person. Edited October 21, 2013 by headinthecloud 2
Zahara Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 So, you want to tell her so that she can dump him and then you will get this douchebag by default. Puke. And worst of all, you want a man that actually says he's using a woman for a f***? No moral compass, no integrity and no decency. What a prize. Stop allowing the man to gaslight you -- blaming you and your needing to end it with him as his reason for being an asswhole and a user. Then take care of your kids and your own wellbeing.
Recommended Posts