brokenheart1992 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Hi all, 3 months ago, my ex broke up with me when we were on vacation in another country. He basically told me that he couldn't put up with me any longer because we fought and argued constantly. I'm pretty insecure and would get mad/jealous at the littlest things. I realized that I never really considered his feelings and was selfish at times . But I still love him a lot. So when he broke up with me, it was so sudden that I didn't know how to deal with it.. especially since we were out of the country together. I asked and begged for another chance and even wrote him a letter, but was rejected. After we came back home, I tried NC for about 3 weeks but broke it after that because he contacted me to send me my pictures from the vacation. He came to my house to return my things and a week later, school started. Since we go to the same university, it's been pretty hard to not see him, especially since we have classes together. It's also hard to not be reminded of all the memories we had because we've been together for 2 years and practically lived together at school... Thinking that it wasn't over and hoping that he still loves me, I begged him to give me one more chance but of course, it failed. It looks like he's really moved on and to him, the break up was more of a relief. He says he's enjoying the single life and that really hurt me, knowing that he wasn't happy at all when he was with me . My grades have been suffering and even after 3 months, I still think about him 24/7 even after all the signals he's given me, basically saying that there's no hope for us. I think it's hard for me to move on because I'm still in contact with him AND aside from him, I don't really have anyone else for support . He was like my best friend and he was basically everything to me. The problem is I feel guilty about everything that I've done when we were together. I feel guilty about my own insecurities, because if I didn't get mad at every little thing he did, we wouldn't end up like this. I know this is how my personality is, but I hate myself... He was awesome and nice and caring, but because of my insecurities, he left. And when he left, I felt like my life was over. Everything was gone and there was no point in living anymore. He still answers my texts now but he's been acting colder and colder towards me and seems like he doesn't care about me anymore. I'm still holding on to that 1% of hope but deep down, I know that there is no hope for us.
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