dahhlin Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Don't date an ex...I know, I know... So what do I do? I start dating my ex... Backstory...we've known each other for 13 years. We'd randomly hook up here and there. Then were together for 2.5 years. Broke up, 7 months ago. Started talking again a month ago. For the last month we decided to keep things casual and see where it went. I was still seeing other people and judging by his match.com profile, he was too or at least attempting to. We would hang out once or twice a week, go out or stay in. We made dinners together, watched movies, went out for a drinks. We even celebrated his birthday together... This past week, everything got bumped up a notch. We were talking more, and getting involved in each others lives. He left cute vmails on my phone, text me saying how glad he is that I'm back in his life, and how important I am to him and he couldn't wait to see me on Saturday...he called to make plans with me for Saturday on Wednesday... He even said he ordered this movie I love and he wanted to watch with me...How thoughtful I thought... Then Thursday I text him to see how a big work meeting went, he asked about my day. Great conversation. Then he said he had to reschedule our plans for Saturday because he had an appointment he spaced about. I was a little bummed BUT I actually knew about the appointment a few days prior and I had just assumed he had time for both. No big. Human Error. I told him I had a feeling he was going to cancel, and agreed to reschedule. He then asked me when my football team was playing on Sunday...I told him...he asked what my plans were for the game....told him I hadn't gotten that far into planning yet. And he asked that I let him know because he wanted to watch the game with me. Great, I'd let him know. The next day I told him we can go out but I preferred to stay in because I like to make food, drink, and that I had more fun watching at home. He said, "That sums it up." HUH? Sums what up? He said. "your game day antics." I said, "well you've never seen me at home during a football game" (because in the past we'd always had gone out to bars he said "good point haha" WTF? The conversation was coming to a screeching halt, was I high? Had I misread his text? Was he or was he not the person that asked to make these plans with me and now I was feeling like I was somehow chasing or begging him to hang out. I scrolled up my text message...yep! There it was. "Let me know what you'll be doing for the game. I'd like to watch it with you." So I tried to clear up the situation...I asked him which he preferred, go out or stay in...and that was that. I haven't heard from him since Friday. Is he on the moon? Did the earth swallow him up? I'm lost. How do you go from telling me how important I am and how much you enjoy having me around and making plans with me to falling off the face of the earth. What exactly does that do? Don't make plans. Don't say that stuff. Why swing the pendulum so far in one direction only to have to go the complete opposite way within two days? So now I'm debating over just being done with this madness OR of course the good old rant text...where I plan to explain to him that I don't get his behavior, and I also don't understand why he feels the need to act like a dick because its unnecessary, hurtful and a waste. I'm really not one for keeping my mouth shut so the fact that I haven't done this yet is a miracle. Thoughts on his behavior? Or my future behavior?
madjac74 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 The best thing for you is if you never hear from him again.
Bobibble Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Honestly, his response wasn't necessarily something horrible. I think you looked into his response too much. HOWEVER him not responding to you since Friday would bother me too if I was you. You have to remember that you two are not dating. You are not in a relationship. You are just hanging out with each other. You said it yourself, he has no ties to you, you have no ties to him, and both of you are free to see whoever you want. He could enjoy spending time with you because he feels comfortable with you and probably still loves you. Does that mean he wants to get back together with you? Not necessarily. He may not be ready for that or he may not want it at all. He hasn't been clear with you on that. My suggestion is to leave him be. Don't say anything to him and see if he contacts you and what he says when and if he does. If he doesn't contact you, let it go and continue focusing on yourself. There is nothing wrong with re-dating an ex. However I feel as though enough time has had to pass where both people have grown and made changes as individuals for it to work again. Do I think 7 months is long enough for that to happen? Personally, no. 1
heartshaped Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 He cancelled on Saturday because he had plans to see someone else. It's simple he's seeing another woman now and things may or may not be getting serious. At the least, he's prioritizing his time for her and not you. There's really nothing to be upset at as the two of you were not exclusive. I recommend moving on. 2
forgetmenot75 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 He is not serious about you, he has his options open and you are someone to pass the time while he's looking/seeing other women. My recommendation is to stop any contact AND stop replying if he initiates. Forget about him, nothing good will come out of this. 1
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