Chris715 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 How do you replace someone who was your first love? Isn't that something that sticks with you for the rest of your life? No matter who else I meet, what other girl I might end up dating, they'll never be the things that I fell in love with with my ex girlfriend. I was 21 when we started dating, it took me 21 years to find the first person that I've ever loved, and now that she's gone how can I ever expect to replace that? For people with experience, answer honestly please: do you ever really get over your first love? Or is it like some kind of wound you carry with you for the rest of your life, causing you pain whenever you remember it? 1
im_thedude Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 There is no such thing as replacing someone. Yes, you'll always remember your first love. After you're all healed up, and someone else comes around that you fall in love with, your last relationship will be the last thing on your mind. Again, no replacements. You're looking to upgrade - time to get excited.
Omei Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Yes you get over your first love and dont carry them with you, I just remember them As I get older and learn more and more about relationships and how to make it work they feel more real my next love is always stronger and harder than the last because they keep being more meaningful as I learn my first love doesn't even come close to my last. May be different for others.
SimonSerenade Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Replacing somebody is a terrible idea, it's only gonna make you feel worse and I'm sure somebody will feel pretty hurt to be thought of as a "replacement", sometimes your just better off without until your fully healed, at least then, when the time comes and you do meet somebody nice, you can tell yourself your ready for it 100%, I see my life as one great collection of awesome video games, my first relationship was like sonic adventure 2, it was amazing, loved every minute right up until the end and was so sad when it ended, then sonic colors came along and that was even better!, the best I ever had by far, then I get unlucky and I get what looks to be a great beautiful awesome game in sonic lost worlds but it's not, it wasn't, it was terrible, the biggest stinker ever! >.< but you know, I got a lot of hope now for the future because that pile of crap has paved the way for an even better sonic game down the line, one that's just right and suits me best, no I'm not actually talking about sonic games, I'm talking about women lol, but you know, life ain't all about sonic, sometimes mario and all his friends can be just as good video games and life, one in the same!
Nikki Sahagin Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Honestly, I am 100% over my first love. He is a memory, but there is nothing attached to him any more. When I look back I am happy I got to experience what I did with him but there is no bitterness, regret or pain. It took me nearly 3 good years to FULLY get over him, but I did. I think that's the point...you have to let time work it's magic. You have to accept you will love and want them for a long time afterwards. When you fall in love again it will feel like new.
maturityassets Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) From what I known from personal experience and also with my friends you don't really forget or replace them. But you do get over them. You might think of them often but that doesn't mean you still want them, for me my first love represented a different view of life for me. I thought I found my meaning in life by focusing on "our" life. So when she ended it, it was life shattering. But with time and seeing other people I never felt the need to replace them with someone else, I replaced my first love with myself. I think in ouf first loves we are all a bit inexperienced and co-dependent. We are attactched to that individual because they provide us with a feeling of that, like you said, waited our whole lives for. But the feeling they usually provide are feelings of approval, acceptance, forgiveness, empathy, and love. As you grow up you stop attributing that role for others to play for you and instead give it to yourself, of course a few close friends always help as well. So yeah my first love comes into my head pretty often... But it's usually with new light on the relationship or on her. She was just as young as me and therefore just as naive. Realized her and I were never really right for one another and therefore just loved the company or what we represented for each other... And maybe we weren't as accepting of one another as we thought. Well any way, just know the main thing you are able to live your life happily and confidently regardless if you remember them or not. Best of luck Edited October 21, 2013 by maturityassets 1
Renard99 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 You don't 'replace', you learn and move on. I know this will make it sound trivial, but it's like a first car. Do I remember mine? Yes, fondly. Do I want it back? No, never! It was a worn out rust bucket but I loved it. It had no air conditioning and a tiny engine that made overtaking lorries on the freeway a scary event. After sweating it out during hot summers and constantly putting my foot down and nothing happening I said to myself my next car will have a) AC and b) a more powerful engine. When the old one stopped working, I went out with the lessons I'd learnt and got myself a different car, this time, one that was better for me. I was heart broken when the old car went because despite the problems, I had some great memories from it, but it's just a memory as I now know what I want in a car and can go out and look for it.
SinceYou'veBeenGone Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I can relate. My ex was the first and only person I have every really cared for. He was my first boyfriend.
Author Chris715 Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 I can relate. My ex was the first and only person I have every really cared for. He was my first boyfriend. Don't you hate it when people tell you "aww it's ok, just suck it up and move on!" At that point I can tell that they've probably never really been in love and can't relate at all to what I'm going through.
mea_M Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Chris, First love is very special and not something one can replace. Often it leaves a permanent foot print in our hearts. And that is so OK. We can and will always have the memory. So yes, first love can stick with you for life, but there are many others to love. If this one person did not work out then don't lose hope on finding love again. It may be a different love, but different in its own special way. Mea:)
Blastoplast Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 You don't replace them. I struggled for nearly a year after my first love broke up with me a year and a half ago. I swore I was done with women for a while, but just a few months ago I met a really special girl and we've been slowly dating over the past 2 months. You will always have memories of your first love, some painful, some great. But they will be a part of you forever and you will never forget them. Just be thankful that you were able to meet them and share experiences in the first place.
aybc123 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 put it this way, if i could erase my relationship with my first love - which took me a year to get over at the time - in order to have a second chance with my current love now, I would do it in a heart beat. So no you wont find a replacement, you will find something that is better, or at least feels like it is better whilst it itself lasts.
Author Chris715 Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Did you ask that girl out yet? I haven't seen her since Thursday so no, but I do have a class with her tomorrow. My lingering confidence/self esteem issues are really all that's getting in my way at this point, but I know those are really just excuses I'm making for myself. I need to ask her out. Who knows? Maybe it will help me heal and move on.
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