Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 My ext after 4 months of complete silence send me a text message. I completely ignore it. Now he texts me this: Listen i texted you during the summer because i wanted to talk. I understand you were leaving for barcelona. I dont know whats on your mindset but i think now that time past by we could maybe go for a talk? Please help guys. I am shaking i am crying. I want to stay strong. I need your advice. Youve been great supoort to me. Please answer asap. Im desperate.
Ansem Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 What's the situation like? Do you want him back? Who broke up with who, etc. 1
TheBestisYettoCome Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Are you moving? I'm assuming that for some reason you are going to be separated by some distance? I had a similar experience with my ex-gf. Two days before I was going to move, she randomly texted me that she wanted to meet up in person to talk. The reason that they want to do this is to cement in their minds that they made the right choice leaving. Basically, this person hopes that when they see you, they will "not" feel what they believe they don't. This will cement in their minds that their decision was the right one and allow them to feel better about moving forward without you. Because I didn't go to that meeting she wanted, I recently had another experience after about 7 months. She messaged me that she was thinking about me a lot, that she missed a lot about our house, etc... In moments where they don't feel emotionally supported or uncertain, they will come to us because we will give them the love that they need in that moment. Does he miss you? Probably. Does he want what you do? If so he will put a LOT of effort into making sure you know. Do something fun for yourself. Call someone who will tell you how great you are, because you are. Take your mind off of it. You have 2 outcomes: 1. you ignore and forget about it quickly 2. you ignore and he pursues you Holla - Dunc 1
barky2 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 What do you want? What's the back story? Good job on not jumping at his beck and call. Before answering anything from him, you need to figure out exactly if this is a road you want to go down again or not. Give a brief overview of the situation . Make him sweat a little Barky 1
Author Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 He left me after a 5 years relationship because he was fep up of us. He wanted to party , be single, see other girls. He texted me this summer saying that he didnt want to end in bad terms but i was leaving to barcelona. He ended things pretty rough. By text. And never checked up on me. Then, silence again from his part and my part. He joined a dating site for sex a month after we broke up. Saying things like: date but nothing serious. I will end up putting a smile on your face . Pretty sexual. He updated it the site a day before him texting me for the first time. So he texted me friday to see how i was doing and i just didnt answer. He asked my best friend if i changed number. She said no and he said: ok well i guess i understand ...... She also told him that i knew about the site. He deleted his account inmediately. If i want him back? I dont know. Im not sure what i want. I dont want to go back to square one. I dont want him to have power over me like he always did in the relationship. He needs to make more efforts if he wants to be with me again. He havent call yet. Nothing. He thinks im easy to get. But its not true. Ive learn my value and only because he texted me twice i will go crawling back to his arms. Meet up for what tho? Talk about what? Barky and others please help
barky2 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Lol take a breath First off you have the power so don't get that twisted. You're showing a backbone Before you move any further you should take a few days to figure out exactly what you want Sure he was a douche and he doesn't deserve another chance but who knows what's going thru his head He could just be coming back to relieve guilt Could be he messed up. To not go back in your healing, take a breath, take some time,few days whatever ,but figure out if that's a road you want to even go near right now. Before responding post here. If it's not me someone else will respond and lead you in the right direction. Only you can answer where your heart is and if it's truly even worth hearing him out and having him say he wants to be friends. Not all posters agree, but I always advise don't break nc until they make their intentions 100000% clear, which he has not. Barky 4
ponchsox Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 You need to block his texts if they cause you to get upset and cry. NC is for,you to heal and move on.
Author Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Thank you so much for you support. I swear to God i was doing no contact for myself. Because the way he ended hings and was behaving after the brake up was letting me know that he was never coming back. People here ask: how come it was so easy for you to go nc? I think it was because it was the only thing to save myself and prevent of getting hurt. I never did it because i wanted him back. I cry and get upset because after he had this summer, he's comming back again. While i was in a depression taking pills, loosing my hair and weight.... I thing i am going to ignore until he makes it clear what he wants. 1
barky2 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Re read your last post. Doesn't seem like you want to go down that road. Seems like the damage is done. Did you answer your own question? Stay strong. Move forward. Barky 2
organizedchaos Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Thank you so much for you support. I swear to God i was doing no contact for myself. Because the way he ended hings and was behaving after the brake up was letting me know that he was never coming back. People here ask: how come it was so easy for you to go nc? I think it was because it was the only thing to save myself and prevent of getting hurt. I never did it because i wanted him back. I cry and get upset because after he had this summer, he's comming back again. While i was in a depression taking pills, loosing my hair and weight.... I thing i am going to ignore until he makes it clear what he wants. Yep, all he said is he wants to talk. About what? The weather? You're right, he put you through hell. He better be clear and be damn sure he makes it up to you. Otherwise, this is a waste of your time. 1
Author Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 To all the peopleout there: if i was able to get through this, we all can. I can promise you that. 4 months ago all i wanted was getting back together. I was ready to forgive him. I might not be healed yet, its been only 4 months out of 5 years. But time will make you realized many many things my friends. If you learn to love yourself and if you learn your real value, youll never put up with bull**** again. Trust me. I hope i can give some hope and strenght to people here.... This site have help me alot!! 3
h0000 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) Sounds like he definitely tried to get with other girls. Im sure he comes back because he hasn't found any,which is not all that surprising cuz we all know that grass is not greener. May I ask you, would you take him back if he has changed and really sees you as the one now? I have always wondered this myself..will it make guys realize they have made a mistake, or they will always just use you as a backup? Edited October 21, 2013 by h0000 1
JDPT Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 That's so funny. I did the exact same to my ex after 3 months or so of her dumping me. "It's been a while, I've been reflecting, maybe we can, take it slow, blah blah blah." My bruised ego was making me write all that. Truth is and was that I had no idea why I was contacting her, it was merely a halfhearted attempt at trying to get a hold of her, nothing more, nothing less. Understand that he is still so emotional otherwise he wouldn't be contacting you. Be strong, very strong and remain NC. Don't let that text break you or bring you back to square one. You are all that matters, this is survival, its either you or him. Survival skills will kick in and I'm confident that you won't allow him to get the satisfaction or crumbling all your hard work.
Author Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Sounds like he definitely tried to get with other girls. Im sure he comes back because he hasn't found any,which is not all that surprising cuz we all know that grass is not greener. May I ask you, would you take him back if he has changed and really sees you as the one now? I have always wondered this myself..will it make guys realize they have made a mistake, or they will always just use you as a backup? For now, i dont want him back. He hasnt change at all. You cant really change in 4 months. I dont think he never taught about the relationship since he was partying all summerc He only wanted to have sex with other girls and experience single life. Well, let me tell you that the love of my life will NEVER do that to me. Someone who really loves you, would never leave you for stupid reasons. The reason why he left its because he taught i was going to wait for him. And i was ready to wait for him. BUT time is your best friend. And no contact
Author Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 That's so funny. I did the exact same to my ex after 3 months or so of her dumping me. "It's been a while, I've been reflecting, maybe we can, take it slow, blah blah blah." My bruised ego was making me write all that. Truth is and was that I had no idea why I was contacting her, it was merely a halfhearted attempt at trying to get a hold of her, nothing more, nothing less. Understand that he is still so emotional otherwise he wouldn't be contacting you. Be strong, very strong and remain NC. Don't let that text break you or bring you back to square one. You are all that matters, this is survival, its either you or him. Survival skills will kick in and I'm confident that you won't allow him to get the satisfaction or crumbling all your hard work. Thank you for sharing this to me. I am more than ready to stay no contact!!! His ego is hurt right now. Thats all. I need to stay strong, ignore and move forward. No choice. I need to survive from this. THANK YOU! 1
h0000 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) For now, i dont want him back. He hasnt change at all. You cant really change in 4 months. I dont think he never taught about the relationship since he was partying all summerc He only wanted to have sex with other girls and experience single life. Well, let me tell you that the love of my life will NEVER do that to me. Someone who really loves you, would never leave you for stupid reasons. The reason why he left its because he taught i was going to wait for him. And i was ready to wait for him. BUT time is your best friend. And no contact I don't really believe there's "love of the life"..maybe im too pessimistic about love lol I agree..he is stupid. My ex is exactly like that. And its been two months now. Though I dont think I miss him anymore since Im used to live without him..my heart still sinks a little when I think about not being in his life at all,forever..and that he will never care for me or think about me anymore Do you still feel this way? And im glad you ignore him and make his ego suffer ..if only i had the chance, i 'd feel much better haha Edited October 21, 2013 by h0000
Author Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 I don't really believe there's "love of the life"..maybe im too pessimistic about love lol I agree..he is stupid. My ex is exactly like that. And its been two months now. Though I dont think I miss him anymore since Im used to live without him..my heart still sinks a little when I think about not being in his life at all,forever..and that he will never care for me or think about me anymore Do you still feel this way? And im glad you ignore him and make his ego suffer ..if only i had the chance, i 'd feel much better haha I completely understand how you are feeling. I remember the third month was the hardest. Because at that time i truly realized that he wasnt coming back. No more "us". I dont miss him either, or maybe sometimes i miss having someone there for me... The routine... Or even the old "us" But it's really hard to realized that its over and nothing will ever be the same. Its hard to believe.
h0000 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 are you feeling batter that he is coming back now? in some way?
Author Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Its another feeling. I cant say i am feeling better. I still love him. I still wish nothing ever happened. Im still really down sometimes and think about him every single day. He's not really coming back. He's just testing the waters. But yes, its a good feeling knowing that at leeeeeeast he's thinking of me. Did yours "came back" yet?
h0000 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Its another feeling. I cant say i am feeling better. I still love him. I still wish nothing ever happened. Im still really down sometimes and think about him every single day. He's not really coming back. He's just testing the waters. But yes, its a good feeling knowing that at leeeeeeast he's thinking of me. Did yours "came back" yet? I dont think so. he did something really weird after 1 month BU but overall I didnt hear anything from him and im starting to think he is never coming back.Isnt it hard to believe! I still cant fully accept it. there will be never "us" anymore and he is probably enjoying other girls hugs right now. I dont know how to think to get me out of this situation and just accept its over? i think its a good thing that power has shifted to your side now. it makes you feel stronger.
Author Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Omgg i understand exacly how you feel. I swear to god i never taught he was coming back. Never. Like for me it was really over. Thats why i didnt beg, cry, call him 100000 times.... I knew he wasnt coming back. So i applied no contact rIght away. It is really painfull. I knew he was with other girls... So horrible. I wrote him a message telling him so many things. Decided to send it to my friends before and they all helped me so much. I never send it i feel so proud! Are u doing no contact? And you are going tor realized its over forever the day you are going to tell yourself: if he comes back I AM the one who's going to say NO. Thats it. You are making your own closure. With yourself.
h0000 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 yeah i am doing no contact from day one. we may have exchanged 2 facebook comments but its nothing lol . However he contacted me once and i wasnt strong enough to ignore him so we chatted a bit. But nothing happened and I kept on NC. so two months and 2 days since the BU now..I feel he isnt interested in talking to me anymore but hes happy to talk to his friends family and even ex ex gf. that makes me stick to NC but it also makes me so upset. and as embarrassing as it sounds i still want him to contact me... how are you so sure he was with other girls?
Mz_sassy_77 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 He left me after a 5 years relationship because he was fep up of us. He wanted to party , be single, see other girls. He texted me this summer saying that he didnt want to end in bad terms but i was leaving to barcelona. He ended things pretty rough. By text. And never checked up on me. Then, silence again from his part and my part. He joined a dating site for sex a month after we broke up. Saying things like: date but nothing serious. I will end up putting a smile on your face . Pretty sexual. He updated it the site a day before him texting me for the first time. Dont do it. He has shown you who he really is. He is someone who can dump you without a second thought, he is someone who doesnt care about your feelings. I've got back together with an ex and it still did not work out. You know what it was ok for a while and then they did the same thing to me. Some time has passed. You must be feeling better. Ask yourself this question - after the BU you must of been terribly upset and it took time to get on with things, while he was out having a party no less, do you want to be in that situation again one, two, three months from now. Your ex has done a lot of things mine did. In a relationship for years. Broke up one day, next week on a dating site, never cared how i was doing....I would rather be single for the rest of my life then get back together with my dumb arse. 1
Author Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Dont do it. He has shown you who he really is. He is someone who can dump you without a second thought, he is someone who doesnt care about your feelings. I've got back together with an ex and it still did not work out. You know what it was ok for a while and then they did the same thing to me. Some time has passed. You must be feeling better. Ask yourself this question - after the BU you must of been terribly upset and it took time to get on with things, while he was out having a party no less, do you want to be in that situation again one, two, three months from now. Your ex has done a lot of things mine did. In a relationship for years. Broke up one day, next week on a dating site, never cared how i was doing....I would rather be single for the rest of my life then get back together with my dumb arse. He left me 3 years ago.... Forgot to mention that
Author Helloprincess Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 yeah i am doing no contact from day one. we may have exchanged 2 facebook comments but its nothing lol . However he contacted me once and i wasnt strong enough to ignore him so we chatted a bit. But nothing happened and I kept on NC. so two months and 2 days since the BU now..I feel he isnt interested in talking to me anymore but hes happy to talk to his friends family and even ex ex gf. that makes me stick to NC but it also makes me so upset. and as embarrassing as it sounds i still want him to contact me... how are you so sure he was with other girls? You dont have to be embarrased! No one is here to judge. Its true! But prepare yourself tho. You dont have to wait around. But ask yourself: what if he contacts me. I remember that i have told myself: the only thing i would answer him is a call. The minimum. I am proud of u that youre doing nc! It helps! Im telling. Its the only good advice i can give you do not contact him. Please!!! Even when you rly rly rly rly want to. Dont! And i know he was with other girls because people have seen him in clubs with different girls everytime. We have aloooooot of friends in common sucks but i have to deal with that...
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