Aylah Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Hi all, I've been in a "relationship" without a title for about five months now. Early 20s, both of us. I'm working, he's in school. It's been mostly long-distance for this time, but we've been talking on the phone almost every night (into the very early hours of the morning, even though we both have things to do), texting constantly, talking on facebook chat while we're working at night, etc. We've been doing the flirting, planning for visits, talking about the future, etc. I've been in relationships before but never felt a connection quite like this one. From the start, we've been very honest with each other. I knew I wanted to have a real "relationship," and he wasn't sure. However, the way he acted told me he was sure, and I fell: hard. Today, he finally told me that he's certain that he's "not a person who can handle a long-distance relationship." Thing is, though, that's exactly what we've been doing.us without the name on it. So, he wants to still be friends, talk, etc. I'm not sure it's a good idea? Ultimately, I hope that someday he changes his mind and decides that it's worth a try for real. I love him, and he's so special to me. I tried like hell to keep this from happening. I knew this was always a possibility, and I wanted to stay friends, but I'm not sure I can. The best thing for me? Not sure. Probably NC. I guess I'm just wondering....if I disappear completely out of his life, when I know that he does have feelings for me...does it give me a shot? Is it an "absence makes the heart grow fonder" type thing? I'm not saying that it'll happen for sure or anything, but I do think/hope it's a possibility. All thoughts and advice appreciated. I've gone through breakups before and screwed myself over pretty thoroughly with my behavior. I'm new to the site, but I've gotten good advice from friends and loved ones before, and I'm hoping you all could give me some perspective, too. Thanks, A
ponchsox Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 LDR are not for everyone. It takes a certain kind of person. I commend him for telling you now that he's not comfortable in a LDR rather than stringing you along for several more months. Yes, you can be friends in the future but you need to go NC for a long time so you remove your romantic feelings for him. Most people cannot do this over someone they loved, therefore the friends thing usually doesn't work. Your relationship may have been short enough were you can become friends. But no contact whatsoever is what you need to move on.
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