sambo77 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 I'm trying to get back with my ex. It didn't end smoothly because her requests for space were made at the same time I found that she'd created a match.com profile and I was pretty pissed. So it took me a couple of weeks to calm down. During this time she tells me I'm being too pressuring by demanding she take her profile down...and so says she needs a break. When I was calmer...after a couple of weeks NC I called her. I do love this girl a lot and I told her that I don't have any idea why she'd do what she did but that I don't have a problem with her needing space. I am adult enough to understand that someone's feelings can change and fully respect that...I'm just not crazy about being lied to about the dating site thing. I guess I wanted to end feeling like I was calm and collected. We left it at that and I went NC for a while. A week later she texts me...asks me about a football match. I responded and we chatted by text very briefly. I cut it off quick. I think that breadcrumb got to me...and about a week later I broke NC. This is what happened: Me: Hey. Hope you're OK x Her: I'm OK. Have to do a 4000 word essay for college on "some drug" x Me: Well...good luck with that. You mind if I give you a call some time soon? To talk. Her: Not at all x Me: Cool...will do...bet you've missed me x Her: Of course I miss you. And I'm really pleased about your book x (I just got a big book contract accepted...she must have seen it on fb) Me: I'm pleased too...first copy in press is yours, might even sign it ;-) Her: I'd love that x I left it there. Then waited a couple of days and, like we'd said above, called her. What I had wanted to do was to tell her I want a second chance and see what she feels about that. Maybe that's dumb...but I will find moving on much easier when I hear that from her so I'm just gonna put it out there and ask. She wasn't in...her mum was babysitting the kids. Dunno why, but I felt a dick. Awkward. She said she was out doing college work. I told her it was me and said I'd call another time. Not sure why, but I guess I just immediately thought the worst...she's out on some date from match.com...that's what keeps going round in my head...but then maybe not...maybe she was working on her essay. None of my business anyway...but it scuppered my second chance request. I guess I'm not comfortable going NC for good until I am happy she knows that I would like another shot...when I go NC for good it will be because I'm done. I will feel like I'm done when I ask her if we have another shot and she says no. Now I don't wanna call again because I'll look like I'm bugging her...so I guess I gotta wait and go quiet again before approaching again. I dunno...given what I said above do you guys think there's a better way to feel out the second chance issue? I know the consensus will be...walk away...go NC...she's a cow...but..."if" I would like a second chance...??
Mcnulty Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Trust your gut...what does it tell you? She's mulling over taking down a dating profile...end game! You're now paranoid and appearing needy if you get in touch again. Why can't she get in touch with you after you made the move and call? A text even? Trust your gut and keep your dignity.
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