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How to handle a possible meeting with my ex?


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Posted

Well as some of you may know, last weekend I had to spend the evening with my ex boyfriend's sister and sister-in-law for my sister's hen party. I was worried I would be upset at seeing them, but I genuinely had an amazing time. I'm usually quiet and reserved, but for the first time in my life I was up on the dance floor and having the time of my life. I even caught the eye of a very attractive waiter. He came and hugged me at one point and my cousin snapped a photo of us. From what others have said, my ex's sister and sister-in-law did not look impressed. But he dumped me, so I think I'm entitled to a bit of harmless flirting. Both women kept glancing my way all night, though they didn't speak to me much. His sister emailed me as soon as she got home that night saying that it was good to see me and asking how I had been.

 

So I got through that evening and enjoyed myself more than I thought I would. Next weekend, both girls, their partners and children and my ex boyfriend's parents are going to be at the wedding. No one knows for sure if my ex is still coming, so I'm a little nervous. His brother said he doubted it as he wouldn't want to hurt me so I'm hoping that's true.

 

I'm pretty certain he won't show up, but I want to be prepared if he does. So how should I act? I initiated NC a few weeks ago now so talking to him seems like a bad idea. But if he were to talk to me, what should I do? Any advice?

Posted

Why do people always ask "How do I act"? Unless you are a professional actor, you don't need to "act". Just be.

 

You.

 

That's it. No acting. This isnt a stage show, you owe him nothing, you owe yourself everything.

 

Be your awesome, kind self. He is of no importance to your life any longer.

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Posted
Why do people always ask "How do I act"? Unless you are a professional actor, you don't need to "act". Just be.

 

You.

 

That's it. No acting. This isnt a stage show, you owe him nothing, you owe yourself everything.

 

Be your awesome, kind self. He is of no importance to your life any longer.

 

Except that I am still very much in love with him and if I am just myself then I am likely to end up in floods of tears, confessing my love for him. So I think, in this situation, acting is best.

Posted

Has anyone read 'the presentation of the self in everyday life' by erving goffman? Apparently social life is a drama.

 

I say fake it till you make it with this situation, that, or say nothing.

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Posted
Has anyone read 'the presentation of the self in everyday life' by erving goffman? Apparently social life is a drama.

 

I say fake it till you make it with this situation, that, or say nothing.

 

I think I'll stick to silence then. Unless he speaks to me first, and then I'll treat him as I treat any other acquaintance.

 

I guess I'm hoping he won't make an appearance though. Last time I saw him I had a bit of a melt down, so it was fortunate he didn't actually see me.

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