tman87 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 OK, so me and my girlfriend started dating november 2012.. Through that time we've had some really good times.. Can you believe she's had so many boyfriends but they never took her on dates? Not even a movie. So Thats what I did And she liked it. We used to talk on the phone for hours. Things started going down hill a few months back when her mom get into some legal troubles and she started losing control. Her mom is her rock. Anyway She started lying to me telling me where she was when she wasnt there. I even caught her with her ex one night but she said nothing was going on and that he had a girlfriend. She said she caught a flat and needed help and didnt want to call me because she didnt want me to know where she was because of how I'd react. I believed her and she was on her period so I know they didnt have sex. At one point I did create a fb profile and she was chatting it up with my fake guy while i was texting her and she was ignoring me. She even told him she didnt love me and in the same breath same day earlier said she loved me. At one point she got suspicious and blocked my fake profile and stopped responding. I never confronted her about the fake profile I made. After that catching her with her ex though we starting fighting a lot and we both ended the relationship on numerous occasions knowing we didnt mean it. We even talked about marriage and getting a ring before all this happened. After I saw her with her ex I did get clingy and tried to know what she was doing at all times.. Recently a couple of days ago this week when the **** hit the fan she texted me after work and said goodnight im going to sleep. Which didnt add up because the time frame was to quick to get home to the time she got off. It didnt sound right. I tried calling her and she wouldnt answer.. My gut was getting the best of me So I drove 35 minutes to her house and to my surprise her car was NOT outside. I sent her a long nasty text telling her how a felt and called her names. "I SAID SOME MEAN, MEAN, THINGS". At the time though I didnt care and was in rage!! She still hangs out with her ex bf friends and they are not the best type of people to hang with. They are bad people. She knew I didnt like it and she did it anyway. On top she never comes to see me even though I live about 1.5 miles away from the people she go sees. Her exscuse is she dont feel safe in my area because its a bad area of town, which is true but its only a mile away from where they live. So after that day she didnt take my call all morning and then when she didnt acted as if she didnt care that it had upset me. So that night i turned off my phone and pretended to go out with a female friend for drinks. When I turned my phone on I had three texts from her one from the night before a 2 from the next day. She thoght i blocked her and said she wished we could of been friend and wished it didnt have to end the way it did. "WITH ME TURNING OFF MY PHONE AND PRETENDING TO BE OUT WITH ANOTHER GIRL''. She even assumed the name of the girl by saying i hope you and so and so have a good life together. So she had to go on her moms Facebook to stalk my facebook because we are not Facebook friends. When she called me that same day because i did finally text back And at the sound of her voice became weak and said that the girl I went out with meant nothing and that I wanted to be with her and only her.. She pulled back and said no she dont want to be in a relationship right now because of whats going on with her mom and need to be free.. Which is bull**** because I know she is talking to guys at the moment and while our relationship was on the rocks. I even found a new profile of hers on plenty of fish so shes lying. But my thing is if she didnt want to be in a relationship with me why did she go out of her way to check to see who I was going out with? Shes been ignoring me at the moment and I want to know f shes truly done with me or my clingyness pushed her away? when i text she does respond but small. She is a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl and would have no problem finding A new guy ASAP. And im afraid that no contact will just help her move on faster. The thing is the things I did for her No guy ever did for her. I took her out and even paid a few of her bills here and there. She does know i"ll be making a lot of money soon and she doesnt even care about that. after breaking up numerous times with each other i feel this is it. I begged her up until today to please dont leave me and she will not respond even though i know she keeps her phone on her. What should I do? Do you think she still love me? If I go NC I may give her time to forget and move on since guys fall in her lap. Sorry about the long essay but PLEASE read it all and help me. I really Love her.
Never Again Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 She is a beautiful, beautiful, beautiful girl and would have no problem finding A new guy ASAP. And im afraid that no contact will just help her move on faster. If I go NC I may give her time to forget and move on since guys fall in her lap. Everyone fears this. It could even happen. Nothing you can do will change this - in fact, anything you do will only make it more likely. Keeping contact will only allow her to use you as an emotional crutch while she moves on anyway. Not to mention, you're in a bad place right now. Continuing to contact her will only make you seem needy, weak and desperate...these are unattractive traits and will only drive her further away. You need to heal first, before you try a damned thing.
Mariposa10 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 This is all really really bad...!! Too many red flags, the first thing you need to do is calm down. Accept the break up. We all have experienced the fear you're experiencing. However, it sounds like she's checked out of the relationship already. Right now, she's only thinking about herself. You need to start doing the same. You need to start thinking about your well-being. Everybody is so emotional right now. Let things cool down. Do not think NC will help her move on quicklier. If she does want to be with you, she'll let you know. Now it's up to her. The only thing you can do to gain some dignity and control back is to go NC.
Author tman87 Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 This is all really really bad...!! Too many red flags, the first thing you need to do is calm down. Accept the break up. We all have experienced the fear you're experiencing. However, it sounds like she's checked out of the relationship already. Right now, she's only thinking about herself. You need to start doing the same. You need to start thinking about your well-being. Everybody is so emotional right now. Let things cool down. Do not think NC will help her move on quicklier. If she does want to be with you, she'll let you know. Now it's up to her. The only thing you can do to gain some dignity and control back is to go NC. I was thinking the same thing.. This chick used to be a whore btw but she did stop it a bit before meeting me. I think she started wanting to go back to the. But when we were together it was awesome. I text her today and even told her someone close to me died she still didn't call, just said sorry. And i know she had her phone on her because she was on FB. But I really love her and its hard for me to stop. I even text her the fact that she probably moved on before the relationship ended.
Mariposa10 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 I was thinking the same thing.. This chick used to be a whore btw but she did stop it a bit before meeting me. I think she started wanting to go back to the. But when we were together it was awesome. I text her today and even told her someone close to me died she still didn't call, just said sorry. And i know she had her phone on her because she was on FB. But I really love her and its hard for me to stop. I even text her the fact that she probably moved on before the relationship ended. You need to stop texting her, period. If there's the slightest chance of you two getting back together in the future, it'll only happen if you leave her alone. I know it's hard, but you have to stop.
Author tman87 Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 I broke no contact today and begged some more!! I couldnt help it. I saw that she was on facebook and the only thing I could think of is that she was talking to another guy so I got desperate and caved. She did not respond to not one single text and has even blocked my calls. After all that can I still go into NC and have it work? I love her SOOO much!! On top of that she is so beautiful and it makes it hard. I was single 4 years before meeting her and Im afraid to go back to that.
Minneloa Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I broke no contact today and begged some more!! I couldnt help it. I saw that she was on facebook and the only thing I could think of is that she was talking to another guy so I got desperate and caved. She did not respond to not one single text and has even blocked my calls. After all that can I still go into NC and have it work? I love her SOOO much!! On top of that she is so beautiful and it makes it hard. I was single 4 years before meeting her and Im afraid to go back to that. At this point, you really have no other option but to go NC, because she is refusing to speak with you. However, keep in mind that the way NC "works" is that it helps you heal and move on with your life. It is not a tool or a strategy to get your ex back. I'm sorry that you're hurting, but she's clearly done and all you can do now is recover your dignity and self-respect and move forward.
BC1980 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I broke no contact today and begged some more!! I couldnt help it. I saw that she was on facebook and the only thing I could think of is that she was talking to another guy so I got desperate and caved. She did not respond to not one single text and has even blocked my calls. After all that can I still go into NC and have it work? I love her SOOO much!! On top of that she is so beautiful and it makes it hard. I was single 4 years before meeting her and Im afraid to go back to that. You can't use NC to get your ex back. Well, you can, but it is only hurting you. You need to turn the focus onto you at all times. You can't walk around in limbo wanting someone back. Trust me, I've done that, and it's no way to live. The way I feel better is to always put the focus back onto myself and my recovery.
lylat333 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Wow, OP. Not sure how many people read your whole post but you and this girl together look like nothing but trouble. I think the only reason you want her back is because you're afraid of being single, and this is no reason at all to chase after someone. In fact, it's a very bad reason, and of course going to come off as needy and dependent. But I say forget her... why you would want anything to do with this girl at this point is what I don't understand. She lied to you about where she was. She chatted w/ your fake profile, a literal nobody and said she didn't even love you. She created an online dating account. You've called her a whore here and I can only imagine what your angry texts said. Now she's ignoring you. Needless to say this girl has you wrapped helplessly around her finger, and she knows it. The sad psychology to this is you have been positively reinforcing her all along for not only leaving you but also at least talking to other guys. To be brutally honest, I were you... I would be embarrassed I was chasing after her at this point. Forget chasing, forget being friends, she should be dead to you. I was afraid to leave my ex at times because I had such a strong suspicion she would immediately be with another guy while I would likely be single for a long time. Believe me, I've been there. I also understand she's beautiful... my ex had such a unique, beautiful look to her that's practically unmatched. I have yet to meet someone who makes me feel like she or my other ex did when I first laid eyes on them. But sadly it's not enough to make up for trust issues and all the rest. Strict No Contact at this point. Forget wanting her back, especially "NOW!". And what if you did get her back? How are you going to get over all of the lies, her ditching you and hopping in the sack with goodness knows who? Does this really sound like your idea of a happy relationship? I hope not.
ColdAlone Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I am talking out of personal experience here, but it's possible she tells every new boyfriend the same story. That they never took her out etc. etc. Girls who were hookers will mostly go back because they think it's 'easy money'. Run as fast as you can!
lylat333 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) I am talking out of personal experience here, but it's possible she tells every new boyfriend the same story. That they never took her out etc. etc. I think there's truth to this. I started to get mixed up with a troubled girl early last year and at first she made me feel great... made it sound like she's had nothing but crap boyfriends and I'm so special. But then she started pulling crap on me early on (saying things that didn't seem to add up, going hot/cold on me at the drop of a hat) and I bailed before we were even really dating. Threw her for a loop on that one! (she was attractive and guys were like vultures to her) I look back on that and am SO glad I ended it when I did. OP, what you will find out is the whole "secret" to "getting an ex back" after they're gone and have both parties at a point they can have a proper reconciliation is to genuinely be able to move on. i.e. to the point you are already over them. NC is beneficial for many reasons. Not to be used as a tool for getting an ex back but I'll admit it was one of the reasons I initially implemented it. It's about healing, and it can reverse the effects of the lost self-respect. Finally, what better way to show an ex you don't need them in your life than nixing them out entirely? I strongly recommend blocking on Facebook, and never finding an excuse to text/call, ever. Edited October 21, 2013 by lylat333
organizedchaos Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 I broke no contact today and begged some more!! I couldnt help it. I saw that she was on facebook and the only thing I could think of is that she was talking to another guy so I got desperate and caved. She did not respond to not one single text and has even blocked my calls. After all that can I still go into NC and have it work? I love her SOOO much!! On top of that she is so beautiful and it makes it hard. I was single 4 years before meeting her and Im afraid to go back to that. Dude. Stop it. You are blowing yourself up and any chance you may have in the future. Leave her alone. Block her FB. There are lots of beautiful women out there, she's not the only one. 1
Author tman87 Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Thanks guys.. You all make a lot of since. Funny thing is she called me 3 times today and at one conversation for about 35 minutes. I dont know what to take of this because yesterday she said she didnt want nothing to do with me so now im confused. Plus she knows I'll be making a ton of money in the near future and im afraid that thats the only reason that shes sticking around. IDK what to think anymore. BUT, I know if a jus as gorgeous girl came along I would drop her from my life in a heart beat. Like one Of you said I think Im jus afraid of being single.. IT SUCKS!! And its LONELY because I dont have friends like that. I dropped them because they wasnt enhancing ,y life and i didnt want to be in the streets so im pretty much a loner. Also I spent a lot of cash on this girl and never got sex. I dont want some new guy to come along and get to **** right away because I know that would be the case.
Mariposa10 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Thanks guys.. You all make a lot of since. Funny thing is she called me 3 times today and at one conversation for about 35 minutes. I dont know what to take of this because yesterday she said she didnt want nothing to do with me so now im confused. Plus she knows I'll be making a ton of money in the near future and im afraid that thats the only reason that shes sticking around. IDK what to think anymore. BUT, I know if a jus as gorgeous girl came along I would drop her from my life in a heart beat. Like one Of you said I think Im jus afraid of being single.. IT SUCKS!! And its LONELY because I dont have friends like that. I dropped them because they wasnt enhancing ,y life and i didnt want to be in the streets so im pretty much a loner. Also I spent a lot of cash on this girl and never got sex. I dont want some new guy to come along and get to **** right away because I know that would be the case. There are so many wrong things with this post... I don't even know where to begin. You need to work on your issues, sounds like you have self-esteem issues, before you get into another relationship. Beauty is not everything, you do know she won't look like that forever right?? Also, was she your girlfriend or prostitute?
Author tman87 Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 gotta have sex for that...lol we are both mid 20's and she never wanted sex. I do have self esteem issues.
Author tman87 Posted October 22, 2013 Author Posted October 22, 2013 Thanks guys.. You all make a lot of since. Funny thing is she called me 3 times today and at one conversation for about 35 minutes. I dont know what to take of this because yesterday she said she didnt want nothing to do with me so now im confused. Plus she knows I'll be making a ton of money in the near future and im afraid that thats the only reason that shes sticking around. IDK what to think anymore. BUT, I know if a jus as gorgeous girl came along I would drop her from my life in a heart beat. Like one Of you said I think Im jus afraid of being single.. IT SUCKS!! And its LONELY because I dont have friends like that. I dropped them because they wasnt enhancing ,y life and i didnt want to be in the streets so im pretty much a loner. Also I spent a lot of cash on this girl and never got sex. I dont want some new guy to come along and get to **** right away because I know that would be the case. What should I do about the calling? and what does this mean? She called me again today but i let it go to voicemail.
Mariposa10 Posted October 22, 2013 Posted October 22, 2013 What should I do about the calling? and what does this mean? She called me again today but i let it go to voicemail. What is it that you really want? Do you want to have sex with her? Marry her?? You need to know what you want and why. Doesn't sound like you are in love with her, it sounds like you really really like her physically, but that's it.
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