tinyvipers Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 I've dated him for a year already and we're both doing our graduate degrees in different cities in Europe currently. Everything is well, he visited my family and worked in my country this summer and we have been going strong despite the LDR. I have to start applying for jobs now if I want to get one when I graduate and we started talking about what would happen then. I told him I'd love to move to America, but not so much stay in Europe but it's virtually impossible for me to get a work visa in the States. I asked him whether he could ever consider moving to my country for me if I don't get anything in the States. He said no and that "we're not at that stage yet". But then he tells me that as long as it's within either America or Europe, he would move to any city there for me. That makes no sense to me! My home country is not bad at all - it's one of the wealthiest in the world, huge expat community, good paying jobs and 100% westernised. But then he tells me he'd be willing to move to cities like Estonia for me? That makes no sense. Is he just a commitment phobe or does he not like me enough?
FitChick Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Sounds like he is willing to move anywhere in Europe but is saying not to plan that yet. I think it also depends on where HE can get a job. If you can't move to the US, what about Canada, Australia, NZ? Are you desperate to get away?
ExpatInItaly Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 I've dated him for a year already and we're both doing our graduate degrees in different cities in Europe currently. Everything is well, he visited my family and worked in my country this summer and we have been going strong despite the LDR. I have to start applying for jobs now if I want to get one when I graduate and we started talking about what would happen then. I told him I'd love to move to America, but not so much stay in Europe but it's virtually impossible for me to get a work visa in the States. I asked him whether he could ever consider moving to my country for me if I don't get anything in the States. He said no and that "we're not at that stage yet". But then he tells me that as long as it's within either America or Europe, he would move to any city there for me. That makes no sense to me! My home country is not bad at all - it's one of the wealthiest in the world, huge expat community, good paying jobs and 100% westernised. But then he tells me he'd be willing to move to cities like Estonia for me? That makes no sense. Is he just a commitment phobe or does he not like me enough? It sounds like he's just not ready yet. I'm a bit confused about your post, though. To be clear, you're doing a degree in Europe, but you're not from Europe...is that correct? Depending on your home country, he could have valid reasons for not wanting to settle there. (ex. job opportunities in his field) Given that he's already worked there, maybe he got a feel for things and he might not see a future for himself there. That's difficult to say. You should have a discussion with him about where things stand with you two and where you'd like the relationship to go. Get an idea of a time frame. That seems to be the underlying issue; you're on different wavelengths at the moment.
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