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Struggling today :(


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Posted

I've posted this before on separating, but it helps me to get it out and plus I think coping is more along the lines of where I need to be.

 

My girlfriend of two and half years moved out last weekend and the last couple of days I'm realizing she's serious. I was all for her to move out, since I'm not going to sit around and beg her to stay. Well me being mr tough guy was a stupid reaction. I'm on the opposite side of the tough guy spectrum. I don't ever cry, but today I tried to force myself to cry since I know it will help with the pain. I wasn't able to do it, but I know it's what I need.

 

The last couple of days have been hard, but it's because I broke NC yesterday and poured my heart out thinking it's what would change her mind and she would run back into my arms... WRONG! I felt good during the moment, but when I realized she wanted to move on without me I was crushed. It was a huge blow to my emotions, my selfish idea backfired. But, in actuality it needed to happen. I need to understand that she wants to move on and I need to do the same.

 

I feel really horrible today and this helps me, so if I'm rambling I apologize. I have an appointment with a counselor tomorrow which I'm very excited about. I love the idea of a biased person helping me through my issues.

 

I have some things lined up with my son today so I can get out of the house, but I know I'm going to be a damn zombie all day and I feel bad he has to see me like that. I try very hard to make sure him and I are not affected by my situation, but it's hard.

 

Well thanks for listening and have a good day :)

Posted

Good luck mate, I'm going through the same..

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Posted

Thanks man, I'm sorry you have to deal with this as well. It's not fun!

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