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question for the guys: if you underperform in bed..


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Posted

how bad does it bruise your ego? and would you be embarrassed enough to distance yourself from the girl you like?

 

I'm dating someone who the both times we've slept together he finished first b/c he couldn't control it and in the end, both times, he muttered what seemed like an apology b/c he really likes to please me, etc.

 

anyway, i'm asking b/c after our 2nd time he's markedly distanced himself. before we hooked up we agreed to be exclusive and i knew he really liked me, always asked to hang out almost everyday, etc., and i felt the same.

 

granted, after the 2nd night and his under his breath mutter of an apology, i didn't really acknowledge it or say anything good or bad about it b/c to me it's not a big deal. i like him enough to not really care all that much cuz meh.. i was pretty sure next time will be better.

 

anyway, not sure how to handle the situation as he's stopped texting and asking to hang out. thoughts?

Posted

Its possible. Not unlikely.

Posted

I generally don't consider lovemaking to be a spectator sport where people are judged on their performance so never concern myself about 'underperforming'. In the past when I have been markedly sensitive and had an orgasm early, I would simply 'switch gears' to some nice oral action while in resolution and get back to kissing and PIV once resolved.

 

However, if this guy is focusing on performance (the apology might be indicative of that), then he might bail if he's not otherwise emotionally involved with you. If you like him, then next time you are face to face, open a dialogue on how you view your lovemaking activities and ask him for his perceptions, focusing on the positives. If you and he can have sex, you and he can talk about sex, openly and with sensitivity. Good luck.

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