strongfille Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 (edited) So, I was 19 when I got into my first relationship, we've been together for approx 2 years and broke up because he (A) got closer to another woman. I used to make out but didn't have sex with the first guy. Then this other guy (B), who was a friend of (A) helped get over him (A) and gradually got into a physical thing with me. We've been together for 1 year now (somewhere in this 1 year, we fell in love). Recently, he confessed that he was cheating on me with another woman for 8 months. He says he loves both of us. I love this guy, he has been a very good friend of mine before. I'm unable to take this pain. Our relation has been on and off after I've known about the cheating part but now, we both are unable to take a decision. It's not like he's a bad guy, he has always treated me well. The thing with other woman isn't an affair, he says he loves her too and she loves him too. He says he loves me and her and that he can't hurt either of us. I say that I want this to end but as he says he loves me I'm unable to move on and sometimes, he keeps pulling me back into this dilemma where he gives me hope. Now, I don't exactly know what I should be doing. Any kind of advice or suggestions or discussion is helpful. Edited October 20, 2013 by strongfille
Ireallydontknow Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Seriously? Do you like drama? Then stay in this relationship. Do you like being in a dead end relationship? Then stay in this relationship. They call people who accept their cheating S.Os "chumps" for a reason. Unless you are looking to start some poly-amorous relationship, then you better start planning your escape route. 3
Author strongfille Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 Okay, I want to move on! But HOW!? HOW? HOW? I restrained myself from talking to this guy or answering his calls for 1 week and then suddenly I lost it and called him.. I've recently quit my job as I wasn't satisfied with it. I'm planning on higher studies and have been applying for few universities. I don't really have anyone to help me out or anyone to talk to here (I'm new to this place and he's too). In his first relationship, the girl cheated on him (It was an open relationship but he didn't know). Yes, self control is important. I know. But, he's just being so f**king nice that I can't control myself over a week. He talks nice, he says he loves me and all that b*llS**t that makes me wonder if things will be okay or fine with him! HOW SHOULD I MOVE ON FROM THIS DILEMMA! HOW SHOULD I COME TO A FINAL CONCLUSION THAT IT IS INDEED OVER. And yeah, confrontations don't work. He says, he loves me and then he says he loved her and so, can't take a decision. I've been talking to the other girl who has been cheated and she's a nice woman, she's also in a similar situation as mine. He's just being nice to both of us.
barky2 Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 Who do you care about more You or him? With all due respect do you have any self respect? This guy will use you both, then dump you both for a new girl. Guaranteed Barky
Fufu Posted October 21, 2013 Posted October 21, 2013 So, I was 19 when I got into my first relationship, we've been together for approx 2 years and broke up because he (A) got closer to another woman. I used to make out but didn't have sex with the first guy. Then this other guy (B), who was a friend of (A) helped get over him (A) and gradually got into a physical thing with me. We've been together for 1 year now (somewhere in this 1 year, we fell in love). Recently, he confessed that he was cheating on me with another woman for 8 months. He says he loves both of us. I love this guy, he has been a very good friend of mine before. I'm unable to take this pain. Our relation has been on and off after I've known about the cheating part but now, we both are unable to take a decision. It's not like he's a bad guy, he has always treated me well. The thing with other woman isn't an affair, he says he loves her too and she loves him too. He says he loves me and her and that he can't hurt either of us. I say that I want this to end but as he says he loves me I'm unable to move on and sometimes, he keeps pulling me back into this dilemma where he gives me hope. Now, I don't exactly know what I should be doing. Any kind of advice or suggestions or discussion is helpful. Just that sentence in BOLD! He's cheating on you badly. Looks like he just wants best out of both worlds. Be wise and you need to discipline yourself to stop contacting him. It's your own decision and choice.
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