wounded soul Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Me and my partner or nearly 2 years have split up recently because of a domestic violence incident and now she won't even talk to me or when she does its all abuse. We have a young baby together and I would like to see her yet she says I'm never seeing her again. My name is on the birth certificate as I'm her father and it kills me not being with her. I know I've done wrong and I'm doing eveything to show people that I can be a good person yet my ex is the only person who can't see that I am trying. She's really angry at me which I can understand yet I still love her and won't love anyone else. She was the other half to me yet I treated her badly and want to make up for it now. I want us to be friends even if we can't b together again and just want her to see the goodness within me. It hurts so much to be without either of them. Can anyone advise anything to help me? I just want the pain to go away, I know I caused it with my actions but want her back.
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Your words mean nothing to her, action will be mean everything. And "inaction" will mean something to. Are you going to therapy for your anger? Do you have a drug or alcohol problem, are you getting treated? Those are ACTIONS, and it will take time to make right what you made wrong. stop exepecting HER to give to you and YOU give to HER.
Author wounded soul Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 I did have bouts of anger and depression yes. I never had a drink or drug problem just a lot of mixed feelings. I said things and did things to upset her or hurt her and I don't know why because I still loved her even though I did those things. While I was with her I never worked and was always under each others feet. We argued a lot but that was because of my attitude. It kills me not being with her and all she says to me is were never going to be together again but I know she's angry about it all. What can I do to make her see I am better? I'm attending rehab for my anger as soon as I receive information on where there being held.
mikei880 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 First of all you are not "better". Just because you have made inquiries into anger management classes does not mean you are taking them or will take to heart what they will teach you. You have a loooonnnnngggg way to go until you are ready to be in a constructive relationship with anybody. I don't blame her for not wanting to see you and not letting you see your child. She is in self protect mode. You have made the first and maybe the most important step though, you have accepted the fact that you need help. Take time to fix yourself and get your mind reprogrammed to operate more constructivly..... 1
Author wounded soul Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 All anyone can tell me is it takes time but how much time? Everyday I don't see my daughter is killing me more and more. I'm willing to do anything to prove that I'm not the same and I know I havent been to anger management yet but I'll do everything it takes to prove it to her.
mikei880 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 For each person time is relative. Your ex doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to, up to and including letting you back into her life. Custody is another matter, you have a right to see your daughter. If the ex will not let you see her do not threaten, guilt or otherwise manipulate her. See an attorney pronto. In the meantime find a therapist to work with you.read some self help books. Become the best MATURE man you can be.
Author wounded soul Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 I dont threaten her or anything about our child I just want to see her. It's my first child and it's murder being away. I know she doesn't have to let me back into her life but I really wish she would.
reddragon588 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 I'm attending rehab for my anger as soon as I receive information on where there being held. No offense, but in the internet age, we no longer have to wait for information. If we really want it, we can find it. Are you really committed to going to this? 1
Author wounded soul Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 Yes I am committed to doing this. I am going through the authorities so I have some sort of proof that I'm trying. I know I could find anger management therapists on the internet but there really isn't any proof that I'm trying besides my word.
reddragon588 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Yes I am committed to doing this. I am going through the authorities so I have some sort of proof that I'm trying. I know I could find anger management therapists on the internet but there really isn't any proof that I'm trying besides my word. What about actually going to a therapist? That would be pretty solid proof, ya? I'm not ragging on you, but a wise man once said, "Try not. Do, or do not. There is no try." That man being Yoda of course
mtnbiker3000 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 I could come up with lines like that too, if I could live to be 1000
Author wounded soul Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 Yea great use of a yoda quote. It perfectly makes sense though. I'll get on the internet ASAP in the morning and look for some. Hope it all does enough good to redeem myself. 1
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