geegee81 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Ok its 5am. I just left a party with my friends, and its part of a social organization. My ex is also a member of the organization and he was there. I pretended like i didnt see him. I didnt speak. I stayed completely away from him and had fun. Deep down inside, i felt a little bad. I will admit that. Seeing him opened up wounds. But i stayed strong....I didn't even tell my friends that he was in the room with us.I pretended like he didnt exist. 1
BigGirlPantiesOn Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 good for you. If you start to feel badly as a result, it's just part of the process. Proud of you!! 1
theonlyjuan Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Probably did the right thing because it saves you any pain you might get from talking to him. I ignored my ex on a night out and I felt pretty bad after but I'm doing what's best for me regardless of how she feels. Childish but she could have said hi to me first. Just go about your own life and he will one day be a distant memory
Author geegee81 Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 Since he dumped me, i have been very strong and made no contact, deleted all numbers, emails, blocked him, etc. I want him completely out of my head and life. Ive been just focusing on me. Ive even went on a date with a new guy this weekend, so i have not been thinking about the ex. The guy i went on a date with was really nice. He picked me up with no problems. He was a gentleman. He opened doors, was very friendly, sociable, and respectful....and paid for the date. So that was a good start to me dating again. But the residuals of the last relationship and breakup are there....and i realized that when i saw him. He was talking to a lady and looked like he was having a good time. And it just reminded me of when i first reconnected with him. He seemed to like me so much months ago. I’ve know him for years, but we reconnected this year. He really seemed to care about me. I tried to be his friend. I called and texted him every day. I would drive 1 hour away to spend time with him on work days. I never complained about the drive. I work over 40 hours a week, but i gave him a lot of my time. Then he just turned on me. He told me that i was not doing enough, and that he was responsible for too much in the relationship. He didn't like the fact that i expected him to open doors, carry heavy bags etc. I weigh 110 pounds, so I could not understand why a big man would have a problem opening a door or holding a bag for a small lady.. I never asked him for anything other than just being respectful and a gentleman. He became mad because he had to pay for our extremely cheap dates. After i drive 1 hour (52 miles round trip) and use all of my gas out of my car I do expect a 10 dollar dinner or for him to cook for me at least. That’s all. There are many women in the world that beg for money, gold dig, etc....I never asked him for anything but a date once or twice a week or at least cook dinner and we could have watched a movie at home. Was that too much to ask for? This guy works a full time job. He wanted sex, but didn’t even care about my basic needs being met. When he had issues, job drama, health scares, bad news, etc....I was there. I always told him I cared. A supportive friend that listened to all his negativity and problems.. But then he began telling me that i had to change my personality if i wanted to be with him. I needed to become humble, quiet, etc. I am the same, extremely friendly, talkative, upbeat person that he met years ago. I will never change my personality for anyone. The last time i saw him, he was upset about something that happened at work. During dinner, he snapped on me and told me to stop talking. I didn't say or do anything wrong. It was unfair. I began to cry at the restaurant. I didn't like that feeling. I don't want to be mistreated ever again. I began to walk on egg shells to stay on his good side. So i sit here now. I know that him and i are incompatible. I know that he cannot treat me like i am use to being treated. I know that he has made me cry 3 times. I know that he has poor communication skills and cannot express himself and he has no feeling or emotions. He doesn’t have a lot of relationship experience. At the age of 29 he got his first girlfriend ever, and they stayed together 2 years. I think they argued a lot. He is not a person that I would want to be within the future....The lust is gone, so I can see that clearly. I just wasted my time. I guess it just hurts to know that I tried to make it work. I really did try. I had good intents. And I feel like I failed. That’s it. I feel like I failed.
im_thedude Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Everyone on these forums has said it time and time again... that moment when you happen to break contact or run into your ex by accident will set you back to square one. From what I've seen this is a normal, natural reaction. It's good to vent sometimes, especially after an amount of time has passed that allows you see see things 20/20. You can't fail at something that simply wasn't meant to be, and the ultimate incompatibility between you two wasn't something you could fix. If I were you I'd look forward to that second date with the guy who treated you right.
Author geegee81 Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 Thank you both. I tried to be strong. I'm really trying to remain strong. I just wish i didnt see him.
JDPT Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 I wouldn't consider it a failure but rather a learning experience. You have a very strong fundamental as to who you are and the standards that you will like to be met, I personally think that's a great thing. The relationship ran its course and this is how it ended. You sound like someone pretty reasonable not asking for anything out of the ordinary. I'm confident that you will find someone who will reciprocate and will make you feel so special. 1
Author geegee81 Posted October 21, 2013 Author Posted October 21, 2013 (edited) square one...Yes. I feel like im back at square one. I was strong all week long...now im hurting again. I cried today. I dont get it. I know that he didnt treat me right... He didn't communicate with me. He didn't listen to me. We were not growing together. He made me feel quit bad telling me that i needed to change my personality before we can be together. I know im not perfect, but i have many good qualities. But he only tried to find all flaws in me. He was extremely flawed, but i always looked for good in him. I miss his companionship and of course i miss having sex with him. I miss having someone to text and call. All his physical affection tricked me into believing he cared. What hurts most is that he could not vocalize how he felt. If he wanted to leave then he should have said so instead of stringing me alone. Why couldn't he just had told me the truth. I could have had peace of mind if he could have just came to me like a friend and told me the truth. His lack of communication made me feel like i was not good enough to have a explanation. Just like im worthless. I didn't have any intents on being in a relationship or falling in love this year. I'm normally so careful bout who i develop feelings for. I'm normally well guarded. I opened my heart and its been hurt. Part of me wants to jump into a rebound relationship. The other half of me wants to completely shut down. somebody please talk to me Edited October 21, 2013 by geegee81
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