Ive been feeling so weak :(

[Omei]

Ive been feeling so weak this week, getting close to my 9th months NC the dreams have become more intense more frequent and more realistic with intensity its like a replay of how much I was in love I feel so weak I want to contact but I know it's stupid, I wont he has never even dropped a breadcrumb, he doesn't give 2 ****s about me and that hurts so much I dont think id ever get the point where I didn't care for him. I don't cry much tho I am now at 2:30 am I never fell so hard before, time heals so slowly, I feel like I wont forget till I am head over heals for someone else but I am much too scared to do that. I feel so very weak im hurting again, I just I want to forget so badly I would do anything to forget I hate this he didn't treat me good near the end I want him out of my head

[Omei]

a lot of posts on here are of cheating, horrible things, things that could never be fixed, we were not like that he just didn't want to try and that bothers me it bothers me so much because once he did I feel stuck tonight.

[mtnbiker3000]

Hang in there. You're just in a down-swing... We both know it will turn around!!

[Omei]

Hang in there. You're just in a down-swing... We both know it will turn around!!

 

I wote a FB msg im so dumb where did my will go? I hate myself so bad right now he will read it and ignore it, I KNOW HE WILL and im a fool I still have real love for them I feel bad many people on here were proud of now long NC went for me, I am so weak now so so so stupid, my kids been asking about him lately its been horrible.

[Omei]

He was polite all he said was sorry and his mind will never changed and wished me the best, that was dumb I didn't reply back to that one nor have I cried yet I feel stupid for writing because how he can take pride in how much someone he doesn't want loves him, Not sure how to feel about it I feel numb now, again I didn't reply I don't plan too.