NotThisAgain Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 It's crazy how easily emotions change the last few days i felt so strong...i felt a numbness towards my ex i truthfully believed id never have a desire to contact him again...but i woke up this morning after having a dream of us getting along and now i feel like im going to text him....im fighting it but i know myself...I miss him...last night i was fine...today i feel diffferent its discouraging thinking that im gonna be up and down like this for at least a month..i almost feels like...im gonna break nc eventually so why not now...
Petunia20 Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 Dont do it. Don't contact him. Are you prepared for what is to come if you contact him? For me its easy to think that I can just pick up the phone and talk to him like we talked when we were together. But at this point its impossible to be that way again. If you do contact him he could ignore you completely or be mean to you. Then you will regret doing it. If he does answer and is civil he might feed you breadcrumbs. Not knowing what will happen is an easier thought for me to live with then finding out for myself and getting hurt all over again. 3
AnnaAnna Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I know it's hard not being able to talk to the person you love but don't do it! You have to give yourself time and if you keep contacting him every time you miss him you will never heal. Just don't do it!Go out for a jog or call a friend!
hippetyhop Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I started NC in July after ending a R; he responded to my email wanting to be friends, but I was kind enough to respond and say explain MY grounds which includes NC. It is hard, but so worth it. I want to call him everyday, I wish he would email me, I want it to work. Fact of the matter is, it won't. I have to learn to accept that as do to you. This is the only way for you two to move on so your endeavors to have a healthy relationship won't be hindered.
Haydn Posted October 15, 2013 Posted October 15, 2013 I know this feeling everyday for 3 months. But i know as soon as i do it, it will take me to a higher level of misery. I never heard of NC before all this happened but i know its reason and that is to not put yourself at the mercy of your ex. Which is what so many of us did at the beginning. (I guess). I know if i tried to contact her and she answered i would have more and more questions.....She does not want me. I want her but i cannot. So horribly simple. If she wanted me then she would be with me or contacting me to talk. And yes if she did one day pick up the phone, i would listen. But i know that things could never be the same. Too much hurt and pain. I doubt many people could go back into the relationship and think everything is all peachy. I think you would always fear a repeat. Slightly off thread i know. But don`t contact. (yes i miss her terribly and not a moment goes by when i don`t think what she is doing and who she is with) I miss her. But she does not miss me and i guess thats the point. TC.
Sweet108 Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 Stay NC! I know your pain! Breaking NC will only cause more hurt and pain.
Mr Scorpio Posted October 16, 2013 Posted October 16, 2013 Why not now? Because if you break NC now then you will set yourself back. You will cost yourself progress. On the other hand, if you don't break NC, then you can add another day to your tally. Every day added is a victory. Get yourself a piece of paper and start drawing one-line every morning for each day of NC you complete. Some folks keep weight-loss logs. You can keep an NC log. Just get through today. Worry about tomorrow when it gets here.
Author NotThisAgain Posted October 19, 2013 Author Posted October 19, 2013 i just got weak...i dialed my exes number...the call failed...so im pretty sure that means he'll never see that i tried to call anyway...so only i will know i got weak...im happy it failed..but i still broke nc even if he'll never know i did right? i kind of knew the call might fail because 2 weeks ago when we went nc the last calls i tried to make to him before i finally decided to stop failed too...i didnt know if it was a problem with the phone or if it says call failed when youve been blocked...either way...i dont feel bad about it...nc is a lot easier when you get rid of the false hope and you feel like there is no 1 on the other end of the phone anyway...because thats when you truly start to heal...today was the anniversary of something between us...which was why i was feeling week...i'll just assume he didnt remember anyway...and my number is blocked...or maybe the company flagged it from all the calls i made the last day we spoke...lol.. his birthday is approaching...i told myself i wasnt going to contact but if i got weak today...i cant imagine how hard the birthday will be
InnocentMan Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 Yea, it counts. Don't do it again, and get a new phone.
Author NotThisAgain Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 ive broken nc im doing it as we speak..the worst part is i dont even know if he knows im trying to contact him.....its just making me spiral everytime i send something im thinking he isnt even seeing this i have to make sure he sees this...making me go further...im supposed to be going out tonight and instead im sitting here on this forum crying..i dont even want to go...thats what this has reduced me to..i rather stay home crying trying to get in contact with an ex who has blocked me on EVERYway possible..than go out and meet new people..its not even about getting him back at this point because this was the second chance and it ended even quicker than the first...its so far gone ive said every bad thing in the book..he hates me...doesnt want to hear from me..and the saddest part is im pretty sure i hate him too but i cant stop...i NEED a response...
JoelBarish Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Stop trying to contact him. It doesn't matter if he ever gets your responses. You have to be NC for you. Not for him. Not for the relationship. Just for you. Look at all the pain it's causing you. Please stop the suffering. Let yourself heal. He isn't worth it. You are worth it. 3
Mr Scorpio Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Do you know him well enough to accurately predict what his response would be?
Mr Scorpio Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Yes, that counts. You intended to contact him. You attempted to contact him. The only thing that stopped you from doing so was circumstance. If you are afraid of how maintaining NC will be on his birthday, consider how you feel now knowing that your attempt failed. Imagine how you would feel if the call simply got kicked to voicemail, or if you got hung-up on, or if you heard a bunch of female giggling in the background of the bar that he is at.
AnyaNova Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Contact with him at all is salt, any attempt to even do so is also salt. When you choose to try and get ahold of him you are taking said salt, and grinding it deeply into your wounds. All it does, take it from me, whose been there, done that, and had the relapse to prove it, is hurt much worse. You cannot begin to heal at all until you cut off no contact. Right now you are like an addict trying to get your fix, and it will only get you hurt and in trouble. Truly, the only way out, is to acknowledge your addiction, promise yourself you will fight through it, and cease attempts to get your fix.
Author NotThisAgain Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 Do you know him well enough to accurately predict what his response would be? if he is seeing them his response would be what he is doing...ignoring them...at this point...before the worst he wouldve explained to me how im being crazy in the nicest way ever...
Mr Scorpio Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 if he is seeing them his response would be what he is doing...ignoring them...at this point...before the worst he wouldve explained to me how im being crazy in the nicest way ever... So how would he do it so nicely? What would be say? Please tell me what he would say.
Author NotThisAgain Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 Contact with him at all is salt, any attempt to even do so is also salt. When you choose to try and get ahold of him you are taking said salt, and grinding it deeply into your wounds. All it does, take it from me, whose been there, done that, and had the relapse to prove it, is hurt much worse. You cannot begin to heal at all until you cut off no contact. Right now you are like an addict trying to get your fix, and it will only get you hurt and in trouble. Truly, the only way out, is to acknowledge your addiction, promise yourself you will fight through it, and cease attempts to get your fix. i know..its just today was the anniversary of the first time we....yea...something he probably wont ever remember...it really is an addiction...just any bit of attention from him makes me feel better...im still in my towel..doubt im going out tonight i wasted an hour writing this long emotional email...and when it was time to send i realized it was just a sob story..and that he wouldnt care so i didnt hit send...the good news is im 90% sure he blocked my number so my 3 calls & 10 page text probably didnt make its way to him (im hoping they didnt at this point)...he could be clueless i even tried to contact him...apart from the 1 blocked call..which he may assume was me...i know im doing this for myself but i broke down..its like right after i get out of the mania and my rational kicks in i realize how stupid contacting him was...im going back to nc..mainy because i have no choice but oh well
loveofhorses1970 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Try to get your mind off of him and on to anything else..anything..even if it is a statement (not having anything to do with him or the situation/relationship) that you say over and over to yourself. Then view any thoughts of him or the former relationship as arsenic. You are poisoning yourself with those thoughts.
AnnaAnna Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 You have to stop doing this to yourself. You cannot heal if you keep contacting him. Just don't do it! You're only hurting yourself. I know it's easier said than done but you have to be strong. We have all been there and we know how much it hurts so we are saying this from experience. Every day I fight the urge to contact my ex but I know how much hurt it will bring me so I don't do it. I also know if he cared about me or if he missed me he would contact me. The fact is he doesn't miss me. You know how much you miss your ex and how hard it is to go on without him. Now, think about it, if he felt the same way about you he would have contacted you. I'm really sorry for all the hurt and pain you're going through but you are the only one who can stop it.
Kizmet Fisher Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 i just got weak...i dialed my exes number...the call failed...so im pretty sure that means he'll never see that i tried to call anyway...so only i will know i got weak...im happy it failed..but i still broke nc even if he'll never know i did right? i kind of knew the call might fail because 2 weeks ago when we went nc the last calls i tried to make to him before i finally decided to stop failed too...i didnt know if it was a problem with the phone or if it says call failed when youve been blocked...either way...i dont feel bad about it...nc is a lot easier when you get rid of the false hope and you feel like there is no 1 on the other end of the phone anyway...because thats when you truly start to heal...today was the anniversary of something between us...which was why i was feeling week...i'll just assume he didnt remember anyway...and my number is blocked...or maybe the company flagged it from all the calls i made the last day we spoke...lol.. his birthday is approaching...i told myself i wasnt going to contact but if i got weak today...i cant imagine how hard the birthday will be If you have to ask if it's breaking NC, then the odds are that it is.
Recommended Posts