Omnipotent Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 (edited) Hello everyone,I'm new to the forums i made an account because this seemed like a good place to ask for some advice or opinion on the matter. I'll try to keep it short. Ok I'm 20 years old I'm a guy who has been raised by single mother all my life,i'm maybe the type of guy people love to call "beta" I'm respectful and caring. Months ago i met a girl thru skype and we talked all the time as friends and had lots of fun talking together then we found out we lived in the same city. In fact 2 -3 miles away from each other. We continued talking for a few more months after that i started falling in love with her. She seemed perfect to me and just the type of girl i liked she was really quiet and sweet also a gamer like me. a few times she did some things i really disliked and i stopped talking to her for about 4-5 months because i was extremely jealous and disappointed at what she did. Every day i thought about her and never forgot her but i felt a bit free and liberated. fate brought us together again and i forgave her for everything she did ,we met up in real life for the first time and everything was fine and we had a lot of fun together,we also had sex.and we talked for another months and i discovered she was still doing those things and i kind of became unstable emotionally towards her. One day i would be fine and the next day i wouldn't talk to her for days. I couldn't control myself. It reached a point where now she has talked a lot of **** about me and she has blocked and deleted me everywhere and things just seem so bad to the point of no return. I really love her and it bothers me alot that she lead me on lying and saying she loved me as well. I bought her a nook hd+ tablet ,a pokemon plushi,i made her a drawing of her favorite anime char,and a sticker book of something she loves. Ive tried contacting her many times to fix everything asking for forgiveness because i was such a wreck and i was a bit indecisive and i regretted it but i really loved her. Ive tried everything i have nothing left to say to her but she only ignores me or just says leave me alone. These things are really bothering me and they are a constant reminder of her i just want them gone. I really want her to enjoy them even if she hates me. I wanted to see peoples opinion on if i should drop the things off at her mailbox and leave. Is it a good idea? how can i do this and not come off as trying to buy her back. I still love her but i respect how she feels and i don't want to get back with her i just want her to have the stuff that is all. Edited October 20, 2013 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
InnocentMan Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 You don't mention what she was doing that was annoying you, but I'll assume she was being a bit slutty on skype etc. This is how it is when you meet a gal online these days. If you met her so easily, it's not hard to imagine that you're not the only bro she's messing with. Forget her, and don't give her any stuff.
Author Omnipotent Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 (edited) You don't mention what she was doing that was annoying you, but I'll assume she was being a bit slutty on skype etc. This is how it is when you meet a gal online these days. If you met her so easily, it's not hard to imagine that you're not the only bro she's messing with. Forget her, and don't give her any stuff. Yes,first she posted her butt online it didnt show anythng else but that really bothered me,also she would fap with other people from time to time. It just drove me insane. I just thought it was amazing how we met it was pure luck.She is shut in like me, has ery few friends. she was really into me and told everyone and she was so happy and everything. I have no idea what changed it all or if it's even my fault. She is just so cold now i would of never imagined. I feel used. Edited October 20, 2013 by Omnipotent
InnocentMan Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 You'll get over it in time. No need to feel used. You met a random on Skype, and got sex from it. That's a decent result in my opinion. I just noticed that you're only 20 and probably not very experienced with the fairer sex, but you will learn that they say all sorts of ****e they don't mean.
Author Omnipotent Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 You'll get over it in time. No need to feel used. You met a random on Skype, and got sex from it. That's a decent result in my opinion. I just noticed that you're only 20 and probably not very experienced with the fairer sex, but you will learn that they say all sorts of ****e they don't mean. Thanks i'm glad im able to see what others have to say about it. I honestly have no one to talk to about this sort of thing. The **** talking has got to a point where ive had to leave skype because people constantly bug me or tell me things about her or say she said this or that. And people dislike me because of all her lies. I'm going to try and think out whats the best decicion tonight. Thanks alot for sharing your thoughts.
Kizmet Fisher Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Hello everyone,I'm new to the forums i made an account because this seemed like a good place to ask for some advice or opinion on the matter. I'll try to keep it short. Ok I'm 20 years old I'm a guy who has been raised by single mother all my life,i'm maybe the type of guy people love to call "beta" I'm respectful and caring. Months ago i met a girl thru skype and we talked all the time as friends and had lots of fun talking together then we found out we lived in the same city. In fact 2 -3 miles away from each other. We continued talking for a few more months after that i started falling in love with her. She seemed perfect to me and just the type of girl i liked she was really quiet and sweet also a gamer like me. a few times she did some things i really disliked and i stopped talking to her for about 4-5 months because i was extremely jealous and disappointed at what she did. Every day i thought about her and never forgot her but i felt a bit free and liberated. fate brought us together again and i forgave her for everything she did ,we met up in real life for the first time and everything was fine and we had a lot of fun together,we also had sex.and we talked for another months and i discovered she was still doing those things and i kind of became unstable emotionally towards her. One day i would be fine and the next day i wouldn't talk to her for days. I couldn't control myself. It reached a point where now she has talked a lot of **** about me and she has blocked and deleted me everywhere and things just seem so bad to the point of no return. I really love her and it bothers me alot that she lead me on lying and saying she loved me as well. I bought her a nook hd+ tablet ,a pokemon plushi,i made her a drawing of her favorite anime char,and a sticker book of something she loves. Ive tried contacting her many times to fix everything asking for forgiveness because i was such a wreck and i was a bit indecisive and i regretted it but i really loved her. Ive tried everything i have nothing left to say to her but she only ignores me or just says leave me alone. These things are really bothering me and they are a constant reminder of her i just want them gone. I really want her to enjoy them even if she hates me. I wanted to see peoples opinion on if i should drop the things off at her mailbox and leave. Is it a good idea? how can i do this and not come off as trying to buy her back. I still love her but i respect how she feels and i don't want to get back with her i just want her to have the stuff that is all. Why are you making this out to be her fault, saying she lead you on? You yourself admit to being really passive aggressive with her, being all coupled up one day and ignoring her the next. You gave the girl emotional whiplash, and over time she just got over it and over you. And with that came anger, hence the talking **** about you and ignoring you. Also, please stop with listing the stuff you bought her as reasons why she shouldn't be mad at you. You screwed up, and if she forgives you will be because she wants to. Just give her space and do not drop stuff off in her mailbox. It comes across as yet more passive aggressive bullcrap.
Author Omnipotent Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 Why are you making this out to be her fault, saying she lead you on? You yourself admit to being really passive aggressive with her, being all coupled up one day and ignoring her the next. You gave the girl emotional whiplash, and over time she just got over it and over you. And with that came anger, hence the talking **** about you and ignoring you. Also, please stop with listing the stuff you bought her as reasons why she shouldn't be mad at you. You screwed up, and if she forgives you will be because she wants to. Just give her space and do not drop stuff off in her mailbox. It comes across as yet more passive aggressive bullcrap. >please stop with listing the stuff you bought her as reasons why she shouldn't be mad at you. When did i say she shouldnt be mad at me because of the stuff ? I listed the stuff so he would have an idea and if it was worth actually going and dropping stuff off,why do you seem to be bashing me? Do you have some type of hate towards men? I'm not blaming her infact i blamed myself if you read what i wrote well. If you want to talk about who "screwed up" Id say no body did.She did really whorish things and i got jealous but always forgave her for it,i was an ass about and reacted wrongly.So who is right or wrong?.the whole point in this thread is to ask for advice. Not to get bashed by a men hating women like you.
Kizmet Fisher Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 >please stop with listing the stuff you bought her as reasons why she shouldn't be mad at you. When did i say she shouldnt be mad at me because of the stuff ? I listed the stuff so he would have an idea and if it was worth actually going and dropping stuff off,why do you seem to be bashing me? Do you have some type of hate towards men? I'm not blaming her infact i blamed myself if you read what i wrote well. If you want to talk about who "screwed up" Id say no body did.She did really whorish things and i got jealous but always forgave her for it,i was an ass about and reacted wrongly.So who is right or wrong?.the whole point in this thread is to ask for advice. Not to get bashed by a men hating women like you. No hate towards men actually, I am probably one of the few people on here who doesn't post because of a bad break up, I am happily engaged. I am not bashing men at all, this is specific to you. And even then, not bashing. I am pointing out that you have a history of really horrific passive aggression in this relationship, and your idea to drop off all that stuff continues to reek of the same personality trait. Once again, not a man hating woman. I love men in fact, and am almost exclusively friends with them. I never generalised anything about your situation to any other man, even. But the fact that calling me a man hating woman is your go to place when criticised tells me a lot about you. I really do think your ex dodged a bullet.
Author Omnipotent Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 No hate towards men actually, I am probably one of the few people on here who doesn't post because of a bad break up, I am happily engaged. I am not bashing men at all, this is specific to you. And even then, not bashing. I am pointing out that you have a history of really horrific passive aggression in this relationship, and your idea to drop off all that stuff continues to reek of the same personality trait. Once again, not a man hating woman. I love men in fact, and am almost exclusively friends with them. I never generalised anything about your situation to any other man, even. But the fact that calling me a man hating woman is your go to place when criticised tells me a lot about you. I really do think your ex dodged a bullet. Being passive aggresive was my best shot at trying to maintain everything because i really loved her,while she lied saying she loved me and doing stuff with other men behind my back,agan i'm not right she is not wrong. I dont blame anyone we both obviously did something bad.You seemed to have judged me and your initial reply was abit bashing which is why i said what i said. and how is me wanting to drop off the gifts i bought her bad? I'm not mad at her when i think i should. All i ever wanted to acheive after i realized i acted badly. Was peace and get some sort of closure which never happened. The stuff is not to make her come back because i know that if we do get back together there will be turmoil in the future agan. I just feel like since i bought the stuff for her she should have them that is all.If she refuses to accept them then i will take them back.
Kizmet Fisher Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Being passive aggresive was my best shot at trying to maintain everything because i really loved her,while she lied saying she loved me and doing stuff with other men behind my back,agan i'm not right she is not wrong. I dont blame anyone we both obviously did something bad.You seemed to have judged me and your initial reply was abit bashing which is why i said what i said. and how is me wanting to drop off the gifts i bought her bad? I'm not mad at her when i think i should. All i ever wanted to acheive after i realized i acted badly. Was peace and get some sort of closure which never happened. The stuff is not to make her come back because i know that if we do get back together there will be turmoil in the future agan. I just feel like since i bought the stuff for her she should have them that is all.If she refuses to accept them then i will take them back. Not bashing or judging you, I myself haven't been in any negative romantic situations for over three years now and I forget how sensitive those times are. I think the reality of the situation is that you should have broken up with her then for good, then you could have possibly salvaged a friendship down the line. But you took her back and kind of passive aggressively punished her for what she did to you before. The anger from which is perfectly understandable, but not condusive to a relationship. As for the present thing, I am not neccessarily saying it is passive aggressive, but it will appear that way to her. Like if you have a crazy ex, you think everything they do is crazy even when its not. She will see it as you trying to manipulate her into having contact with you when you know she doesn't want to. Also, even if you don't have any contact during the exchange, she will think of it as you trying to manipulate her into thinking of you, by filling her room or whatever with little reminders of your relationship. Do you understand what I mean, Omnipotent?
Author Omnipotent Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 Not bashing or judging you, I myself haven't been in any negative romantic situations for over three years now and I forget how sensitive those times are. I think the reality of the situation is that you should have broken up with her then for good, then you could have possibly salvaged a friendship down the line. But you took her back and kind of passive aggressively punished her for what she did to you before. The anger from which is perfectly understandable, but not condusive to a relationship. As for the present thing, I am not neccessarily saying it is passive aggressive, but it will appear that way to her. Like if you have a crazy ex, you think everything they do is crazy even when its not. She will see it as you trying to manipulate her into having contact with you when you know she doesn't want to. Also, even if you don't have any contact during the exchange, she will think of it as you trying to manipulate her into thinking of you, by filling her room or whatever with little reminders of your relationship. Do you understand what I mean, Omnipotent? Yes i do,thanks alot for your feedback,I'm going to bed now i hope you have sweet dreams when you head that way.
Ireallydontknow Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 You self declared yourself as a beta. You should try getting away from that. It's kind of unattractive to females. The only ones who are into the constant showering of attention and stuff are normally really needy themselves. I'm not saying be a jerk, but don't also treat every girl you happen to get close to as the "one." It's a life lesson which I'm learning.
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