free_radicals Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 Hello everyone! Well I'll get right to it. I have been dating someone since May, and become bf/gf almost 3 months ago. We are both 31. During dating, I found out she got divorced this March from a 10 year relationship, so I continued to proceed with caution. But I quickly learned that she was completely over it and ready to be with someone else, and talked extensively about if she's *actually* ready. Well all seems too perfect right now and I'm more than convinced that she's really ready. Her ex and her are still friends, and they made a pact where when her ex goes on a vacation or is gone for a few days, she will go over to his house, where they both used to live, to feed and care for his cats for a bit and then leave. Similarly, my gf would drop off her cat at his house for him to take care of if she will be gone for a few days. Also, she still has a key to her ex's house. I thought about if her going over to his house and having a key to his apartment is inappropriate or crosses some kind of boundary, but I'm stuck in a grey area even though there's nothing inherently wrong with either scenario. We totally trust each other, and trust is definitely not an issue. I asked her about both situations; regarding the cats- it's cats that they shared and she says she would be very sad if she can't see the cats anymore. Regarding the key, she says it's convenient for whenever she needs to go feed the cats. I can tell in her position that she's not really doing anything wrong. Thoughts? Suggestions?
todreaminblue Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 if she is entering the homewhen he is not around ...not a problem ...if he is at home.....it creates a feeling of intimacy, i think it should be arranged before hand,boundaries would need to be in place.....deb
Eggplant Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 No ... why is that friendship so important that she is willing to make you uncomfortable?
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