LuckyRed Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 I am in a new relationship with a guy I really like, but one thing that is giving me trouble is my lack of experience. I haven’t had many serious relationships and am less experienced in the bedroom. I am not sure how to bring up the topic without causing an awkward situation for the both of us. I also don’t want him to think that I am judging him in any way, and I don’t want to be judge by him either. Since it is still a new relationship, I am not 100% sure how he will respond to this information. I don’t want to mess up this relationship by creating awkwardness, but I do want to talk about it without feeling embarrassed or judged. How should I start the conversation with him? Should I tell him sooner rather than later? What would you want your partner to do? Will he leave me if I tell him? Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Well, ideally this is something that probably should have been communicated before being "in a relationship"......but since you're at that point, you should trust eachother enough to be able to talk about anything, right...... Definitely bring it up sooner rather than later in a non confrontational way. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Copelandsanity Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Is there anything specifically about sex that you fear? I think an effective way of attacking your fear or lack of experience is to explore sexuality on your own. Educate yourself. Masturbate regularly. Consider using toys, like a vibrator or dildo. Link to post Share on other sites
ConstantVoyager Posted October 19, 2013 Share Posted October 19, 2013 Just mention to him that you don't have that much experience. Ask him what kind of things he likes. Tell him what you think you'd like. While men are sometimes (unfortunately) judged on being inexperienced, guys don't usually judge women for being inexperienced. I wouldn't worry about it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
shopgirlNY152 Posted October 22, 2013 Share Posted October 22, 2013 LuckyRed, I think it is the right decision to express your experience with the new person you are dating. Being inexperienced is nothing to be embarrassed about. If you are at the point in your relationship where you want to further your relationship, you should address those issues. Not telling your partner the truth can be part of the things that can potentially terminate a relationship before it even truly begins. This is called the Four Horsemen theory by John Gottman. You might want to give it a look see to see if it could help you in any other future relationships. Link to post Share on other sites
SearchingforPlayer2 Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 I agree with the others, it's perfectly ok for you to discuss it with him, being inexperienced is nothing to be ashamed/ worried about. I'm fairly inexperienced myself and would worry about this same thing at times, after reading through different forums, asking for advice, and generally trying to better educate myself to be prepared for the future I realized, every new partner is a "new experience" what you learn with one partner may not carry over to the next one. Learning each other's bodies for the first couple times and experimenting trying to find all the secret buttons is the fun part! Basically, don't worry about it so much, chances are he'll be relieved to hear it and with a bit of mutual guidance and a few nights of practice there won't even be an issue anymore.:bunny: Link to post Share on other sites
todreaminblue Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 normally in a relationship the sexual experience is not equal......haven't had a guy leave me yet because i have more experience....never left anyone for having less experience than me that would be me being a hypocrite if i were to judge someone on sex stuff...... when you make love with someone ......and its in early stages...its like you are making love for the first time...sexual experience only makes it possible for you to share what you know with someone you truly love..and hopefully love is the word...love is accepting a whole person past present future...it isnt a job application where you go on experience...you go by what that person brings out in you and what you bring out in them...its all new ..and every one can learn from another experience or not.....we are all unique........deb 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ManOfLove Posted October 23, 2013 Share Posted October 23, 2013 Communication is a essential part of a relationship. Bringing up at a time you feel comfortable is a good idea but also to do it early, rather then later. These issue will just begin to get worse or come up at a odd time. If you both are in a commited relationship, he should be able to listen and understand that you may be inexperience, and that is nothing to be ashamed of at all. That can be sometime fun for you explore and grow together in. I also don't think he will leave you just because of it. That seems harsh. Link to post Share on other sites
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