Eternal Sunshine Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 Just curious. No, I don't have it and I wouldn't. Even with all the precautions it's not worth the risk IMO.
amaysngrace Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 If I had one and they had the same one then I don't see what the problem is. But in reality there's no way that I would. 1
Balzac Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 Sounds as if you've never studied statistics. Many people have not been adequately tested and the term DTFs is vague at best. HepC is an STD. You have freedom of choice. What's your screening matrix?
carhill Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 Depends on the STD panel results. I don't have a blanket rule. That said, in general, I limit sexual partners to exclusive relationships and my preference is for one who won't infect me and affect my health long-term. As some STD's are undetectable, there's always a risk but I prefer to limit it as much as possible. 5
Joaquin Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 I would have thought it depends which one, and whether and when the person told you. I think the PC term now is STI.
theothersully Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 Not unless it was cleared up first. HIV or Hep C?? No way at all.
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 19, 2013 Author Posted October 19, 2013 Sounds as if you've never studied statistics. Many people have not been adequately tested and the term DTFs is vague at best. HepC is an STD. You have freedom of choice. What's your screening matrix? If they tell me. In some cases I would ask for test results. I understand what you are saying but all I can do is minimize the risk. I know I am clean and I want to keep it that way.
ThatMan Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 The world isn't that cut and dry. You have no idea who does and does not have STDs in the dating pool. Not to mention that many people will not disclose their sexual and venereal disease history even in confidence with their spouse. I could turn away somebody who discloses this information freely but there's no guarantee that the next person would be so open. So I try not to concern myself with the topic at all. Just use protection and decide for yourself how open, confident, and secure the prospective date is. Chances are that if a person has a level head on their shoulders, and isn't neurotic or insecure, they'll be mature about things. You'll be surprised to know that most people have no clue what herpes is. Most people believe cold sores are just cold sores. Nope. Herpes is the culprit and it increases your risk of dementia. No thank you.
crederer Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 I think she was asking if you knew they had an std would you date them. I don't know why the screening methods are being brought up as it doesn't really have anything to do with the question. Most std's are treatable, but the ones that aren't are fricken awful. So if it was HIV/AIDS, hep C, herpes, back away, not today.
carhill Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 OP, to expand upon my answer, as I've yet to meet a person who discusses STD's prior to dating, I'd 'date' someone and then, while getting to know them, when such matters are discussed, prior to any sexual contact taking place, make a decision at that time. Concurrently, while getting to know them, I'd update my STD panel and discuss its results with them as appropriate to time and place. This worked fine back in the 90's when I was single. I understand that perspectives about sex and dating have changed since I got married but I haven't, so my opinion may be outlier and out of date. A question, relevant to your statement of 'I don't have it': How would you share such information with a prospective romantic/sexual partner in a quantifiable way? I ask because I've heard many women say essentially the same thing and my response is 'That sounds great' and then go on discuss and show the results of my tests. Seeing the actual test panel from Qwest usually put them at ease and provided the foundation for my next question: 'Can I read your lab report?' Their response, as much the how as the what, gives me important information about our compatibility for continued dating and possible mating.
ThatMan Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 I don't know why the screening methods are being brought up as it doesn't really have anything to do with the question. I don't know. I think it's important because very few people are open about this. You won't know whether or not that man or woman your sleeping with has HIV. It isn't the screening method itself that's important. What's important is understanding that there are insecure *******s out there. I have met a few people with HIV and none of them share this information with their FWBs. Years ago I came to terms with the fact that I could ditch a person because she had an STD, but then I'm also very liable to wind up with one myself from a future spouse who a) Probably has a terrible personality because she wasn't willing to be open with me. b) Would probably be incapable with me at which point I'll likely be alone with my new STD. c) Isn't good relationship material because you need openness for any relationship to succeed. I actually did have a long-term relationship with somebody who confined in me that she had HPV. This was a pretty awkward conversation, but at some point sometime dawned on me, "Nope. You're fine. This isn't HPV you have HS instead. Go see a doctor and he'll tell you the same thing."
crederer Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 Pretty sure you can get charged with manslaughter or attempted manslaughter if you willingly have sex with people and you know you're HIV positive, but keep it secret. That is just plain evil if you ask me.
ThatMan Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 (edited) Although that's true, I'm under the impression that most district attorneys usually reserve those charges for prostitutes and things of that nature. But that's enough STD talk for one day. I need a shower now... Edited October 19, 2013 by ThatMan I hate auto-correct.
ConstantVoyager Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 You can be prosecuted if you have UNPROTECTED sex and you're knowingly HIV positive.
William Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 As the laws in the thread starter's location may vary, and discussion of legal matters isn't topical to whether someone would date a person with a STD, let's move back into the dating realm and focus in on the dating aspect. Thanks!
Phoe Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 Seeing as I have herpes, I would date someone who has it. It would probably actually make my life much easier if I could find someone who has herpes. I know that many men would drop me like a hot rock over this, and that is pretty hard to deal with... but I would never withhold information. Any man who is interested in me can see the paperwork. I'm unable to get a date in the first place though, so I'm worrying about something that is several steps ahead from where I am now. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 Seeing as I have herpes, I would date someone who has it. It would probably actually make my life much easier if I could find someone who has herpes. I know that many men would drop me like a hot rock over this, and that is pretty hard to deal with... but I would never withhold information. Any man who is interested in me can see the paperwork. I'm unable to get a date in the first place though, so I'm worrying about something that is several steps ahead from where I am now. Props to you for being honest. I think many people aren't. 1
Author Eternal Sunshine Posted October 20, 2013 Author Posted October 20, 2013 OP, to expand upon my answer, as I've yet to meet a person who discusses STD's prior to dating, I'd 'date' someone and then, while getting to know them, when such matters are discussed, prior to any sexual contact taking place, make a decision at that time. Concurrently, while getting to know them, I'd update my STD panel and discuss its results with them as appropriate to time and place. This worked fine back in the 90's when I was single. I understand that perspectives about sex and dating have changed since I got married but I haven't, so my opinion may be outlier and out of date. A question, relevant to your statement of 'I don't have it': How would you share such information with a prospective romantic/sexual partner in a quantifiable way? I ask because I've heard many women say essentially the same thing and my response is 'That sounds great' and then go on discuss and show the results of my tests. Seeing the actual test panel from Qwest usually put them at ease and provided the foundation for my next question: 'Can I read your lab report?' Their response, as much the how as the what, gives me important information about our compatibility for continued dating and possible mating. I would say it and then show them the test results if they asked. Hopefully that would open a discussion and it would all flow naturally. I have never had sex without a condom, even in a LTR - that's how cautious I am. I know that it doesn't really protect me from everything, but again it minimizes the risk.
Radu Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 For me it would depend which one and how she got it. Some STD's are expected after a certain age. HSV-1 and some strains of HPV for instance. HSV-1 is so common it's not even usually tested for.
Robert_90 Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 Seeing as I have herpes, I would date someone who has it. It would probably actually make my life much easier if I could find someone who has herpes. I know that many men would drop me like a hot rock over this, and that is pretty hard to deal with... but I would never withhold information. Any man who is interested in me can see the paperwork. I'm unable to get a date in the first place though, so I'm worrying about something that is several steps ahead from where I am now. HSV-1 or HSV-2? Former can be gotten when you are a child and is hardly an eyebrow raiser.
todreaminblue Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 I take it as a rule ....if a guy has used intravenously probability is way up there...i think if i were to eb in a sexual relationship as a matter of peace for my partner with concerns of my sexual history i supply test results......just taken ...i prefer to get them together if it were to be serious then knowledge is necessary...up to date and current...i have to survive a while i have kids to think about......not only myself...i got told by a guy once that he had an std after a couple of dates...i decided not to continue dating and i didnt have sex with him.....deb
sugarwater Posted October 20, 2013 Posted October 20, 2013 I also have herpes and mine comes once a year in cold sore form. Usually in the winter from cracked stressed lips. If I take care of my body its avoidable. As for me, I'd only date a person with Herpes, no other incurables. Why would I want to be a girl with, 2 incurables!?
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