Now this is what I call a "how we met" story. Is this an example of an Alpha Male?

[irc333]

Got to talking to an old friend I hadn't seen in a while. Been married 22 years to the same women he married when he was 19 at the time, and she was 17.

 

They went to different high schools.

 

Met her while she was working at a local grocery store. Then one day, when he was doing his routine shopping, (He was 17 at the time, she was 16)....and he was drunk and rear ended her in the parking lot.

 

They get to talking and he said, "Can I get your phone # so we can go out"?

 

SHe said, "Well, I'm seeing someone" he was actually sitting in the car next to her.

 

He goes, pulls him out of his vehicle, and said, "I'm dating her now and you are not"

 

And he was like "Hey, no problem, it's cool it's cool"

 

Now...22 years later, they are married with children and still happily married.

 

Now as a sidebar, have you ever heard of such "how we met" stories? Also a sidebar..."Is this what a man with confidence does?" IS this an example of an Alpha Male?

[irc333]

I have heard of situations like this that sincerely won over a woman and NOT turn her off by her thinking, "What a bully, I can't date this guy!"

 

Like kissing a woman right in front of the man she is seeing? I've heard of situations like that where the Alpha male took the bull by the horns and won the heart of the lady.

 

While the other guy, she was already.

 

Another question, this being said, just because a woman SAYS she's seeing someone, should this stop you and take part in what this man did?

 

I suppose if a woman says, "Okay, you're seeing someone, I'll leave you be" he simply could NOT take that at face value and took aggressive action.

[Radu]

Well, first of all, when it happened all were teenagers ... so it's not like they had great judgement.

 

Which gets me to point 2, he gave up on her easily.

If he had said '**** no', and fought for her ... even physically and even if he had lost, she probably would have said no.

 

The guy in the story was also drunk [this removes inhibitions ... probably her bf wasn't], so i don't think this is 'alpha' behaviour.

More like her ex-bf flunked badly a test in life.

[Eternal Sunshine]

If I had a bf that was such a p-ssy and gave me up to another guy just like that, he would deserve to be dumped. It's not even about the other guy.

[Radu]

I have heard of situations like this that sincerely won over a woman and NOT turn her off by her thinking, "What a bully, I can't date this guy!"

 

Like kissing a woman right in front of the man she is seeing? I've heard of situations like that where the Alpha male took the bull by the horns and won the heart of the lady.

 

While the other guy, she was already.

It depends.

If this happens, it can mean :

- she has poor decision making skills ... an example would be if i would go gaga over a more beautifull girl when the one who i am in a relationship with is sitting next to me

- they were new, or they were doing very badly and a breakup was imminent ... i would personally still stear clear of anyone who does this

 

Another question, this being said, just because a woman SAYS she's seeing someone, should this stop you and take part in what this man did?

 

I suppose if a woman says, "Okay, you're seeing someone, I'll leave you be" he simply could NOT take that at face value and took aggressive action.

The latter part of the quote is not a good example for the former part of the quote.

 

If a woman says she is seeing someone, take it with a grain of salt and decide from there.

It can mean anything from 'i'm seeing someone' to 'i'm not in the mood'.

 

And in the example, that's an interest test ... she wants to know weather or not you are available without actually asking 'are you available ?'.

[crazyinluv]

That was a great story. I would say either an alpha male or just someone who knows what they want. Thanks it was pretty funny. "I'm dating her now.." ok, ok, *walks off in shame* haah

[scorpiogirl]

Your drunk friend was an ass. The girl was an equal ass for going off with him and disrespecting the current date. And that guy deserved to get left if he just gave her up like that.

 

This is not a "cool story".

[irc333]

Hm, whenever I would get a "I am seeing someone and seeing how it goes" whenever I would persist and say something like, "Oh, so you're seeing someone...sounds like someone you're not entirely exclusive with so why let that stop you? HOw about giving me a shot and see 'how it goes'?" Or something like that.

 

It would just annoy them, they would just think I"m some persistent guy that can't take no for an answer, while, when done properly....you can win a woman from whatever guy she is seeing, as in the example in the original post.

[StanMusial]

I know a girl who dated a guy she crashed into with her car. They dated for a short while.

 

I also know several guys who stole a girl from some other dude. To the victor go the spoils.

[Criticality]

Your drunk friend was an ass. The girl was an equal ass for going off with him and disrespecting the current date.

 

Which just goes to show, that when two ass'es get together, somehow they cancel out the other being an ass, and get to live a happily married life for 22 years! Who'd a thunk it!?!

 

And that guy deserved to get left if he just gave her up like that. .

Funny side note to that story... You know the guy that eh, got dumped by the drunk guy? He's actually the original inventer of the phrase "Nice guys finish last" True story! He made it up later that night, while drunk and retelling what had happened to his friends.

 

This is not a "cool story".

True... It's more of an "awesome story" Also a strong candidate for "best story to retell at the wedding"

[theothersully]

Not even a little cool. If a girl is so stupid she finds that type of thing attractive, she deserves that kind of guy.

 

Further, if I was in the passenger seat, I'd have probably killed the other guy (with weapons). This is why I would never make a stand in a case like that. It's not worth ruining your life with battery/murder charges.

 

People come at me and/or my girl, they're probably not going to make it out alive... and i am not even kidding a little. I have a bit of a bad streak with that kind of thing and tend to avoid situations like this so I don't have to kill other people. Stand your ground was written for just this type of situation.

 

PS: I now use less lethal weapons, but still... you can get in tons of trouble, rendering yourself unemployable,etc. How would the girl like you if you did take the bait and made yourself into a convicted felon who can't get a job?

 

This is why I prefer intelligent girls over dumb. They can see a couple moves ahead.

[devilish innocent]

There was a girl at my high school who met her boyfriend when he accidentally hit her car in the parking lot. I think it happened after a concert.

 

That guy you're describing seems like a jerk though. I wonder if the girl's young age had something to do with why she accepted it. A lot of things that would have seemed amusing and romantic to me when I was in high school would just seem rude and obnoxious by the time I was in my 20s.

 

I don't understand pursuing people that are already taken. It just seems rude. Not to mention, it can cause the pursuer a lot of trouble if the person agrees to go out with them, but then remains involved with their previous mate as well. If somebody says they're seeing somebody and seeing how it's going, I'd take that to mean they're not available right now. They're saying they might be available in the future if things don't work out with the person, but for now they're not. It's better to just be friends for now and check back with them in a few months.

[Shepp]

And he was like "Hey, no problem, it's cool it's cool"

 

I call BS on that! No way in hell!

 

A 16/17 year old lad responding like that to "im dating your gf now", Hell to the no!

 

 

Taking it at face value:

A) Im not surprised the girl dumped her bf - he either really wasn't into her or was a total coward.

 

B) I think the type of girl who would be impressed by that is probably quite a passive type. I like girls who are fiery - most girls I know like that wouldn't want to be seen as that easy.

But different strokes for different folks - some guys like a passive girl on there aim, fair play to them

 

C) To me that doesn't define being an alpha male.

I don't think he did anything terrible, he simply tried his luck and his luck was in.

And yeah I think being an alpha male is about being confident (which he displayed) but also about being strong, a leader, courageous, physically fit determined, but also humble, good humoured, positive, fair, generous, chooses his words - not the loudest in the room, a hard worker, honest, holds good value and sticks to them.

I think in order to be an alpha male you don't set out to be one. In the same sense that the best leaders tend not to be the people who go looking for leadership but the people who quietly step up to it, get there head down and do a good job.

You cant tell any of that from one sentence where he says 'shes my gf now' ....that doesn't tell me he's a good leader, that hes a hard worker, that he wouldn't be scared to make a hard decision, all it tells me is he tried his luck and it paid off.

 

I think people have the wrong idea about being an alpha male - you don't need to throw your weight around all the time, you just need to be prepared to if its asked of you.

I've taken positions of leadership all my life, I've made it to captain of every football team ive been in since I was 12, captain of my schools triathlon team, I went on a "survival holiday" this year via this year to this desert island where its just you and your mates on this island with nothing - think survivor, and its always 'when shall we go fishing alfie', 'where shall we build the shelter shepp, 'how shall we build it' - I think im quite good at leading people, I never went looking for it but its always kind of fallen to me for so long now that im used to it, and I think I do a good job.

For me, that's how to test a man - give him some power and then add some stress. Its crazy how a little bit of power can change a nice guy into a jerk and equally how it can make some people crumble.

 

The thing is the way your like 'does this sentence, this action, this minuet of the day' make him an alpha - I don't think you can judge it like that, I think to be a leader you have to adapt you have to behave as the situation demands.

So yeah this guy can throw his weight around but can he make people follow him, make people trust him, is he tough enough to bite his tongue when he has to, or show a softer side...

 

Im not saying he isn't, he may well be, probably is, im just saying in general this is kind of always what I think when people say "am I an alpha" "does this make an alpha" but can never be bothered to actually write down in response.

 

I worked in a kennel for a summer when I was 14, I think its interesting to see how a man (or women) handles himself with a/pack of dog/s. With some dogs you need to be stern, you need to raise your voice, while others need compassion and encouragement and a select few require you to throw away any pride and get on the floor while saying "c'mon, come here boy, whats thissss" in a unnaturally high pitched voice.

All animals can sense weakness...its in their nature.

 

Hm, whenever I would get a "I am seeing someone and seeing how it goes" whenever I would persist and say something like, "Oh, so you're seeing someone...sounds like someone you're not entirely exclusive with so why let that stop you? HOw about giving me a shot and see 'how it goes'?" Or something like that.

 

It would just annoy them, they would just think I"m some persistent guy that can't take no for an answer, while, when done properly....you can win a woman from whatever guy she is seeing, as in the example in the original post.

 

because the bolded was too long

Edited October 19, 2013 by Shepp

[crederer]

bahaha I dunno about alpha male, but sounds like everyone in this story are asses and or wimps.

 

Seriously, he just let him have her like that? lol wow. I would have ran him over with the car if he acted like such a blatent asshat.

[Shepp]

As far as the best 'How we met stories'...

 

My cousin was wasted one night and was banging on the front door of the what he thought was his flat but was the same flat on the floor below.

The girl who lived there opened the door and he like fell in passed out, apparently she pushed him out into the hallway and shut the door. Then felt bad an hour later and went out and dragged him back and then locked him in the kitchen just in case he was a murderer......if that aint true love, what is.

 

They have a baby girl and will of been married 3 years in December.

[crederer]

lol locked him in the kitchen? Can you imagine him waking up to that in a drunken stupor not knowing what was going on.

 

"ohhh gawd Tom, what the hell did you do now!?!?!"

[Shepp]

Hahah I know! I'd of had a little claustrophobic freak out!

 

Supposedly she opened the door in the morning with a hockey stick in hand as a potential weapon - "just in case" and he was making himself a cuppa tea.

 

lol, he's a nutter but clearly it did something for her!

[Kofybean]

This was guaranteed not in Texas. Sounds like a receipt to get shot.

 

Got to talking to an old friend I hadn't seen in a while. Been married 22 years to the same women he married when he was 19 at the time, and she was 17.

 

They went to different high schools.

 

Met her while she was working at a local grocery store. Then one day, when he was doing his routine shopping, (He was 17 at the time, she was 16)....and he was drunk and rear ended her in the parking lot.

 

They get to talking and he said, "Can I get your phone # so we can go out"?

 

SHe said, "Well, I'm seeing someone" he was actually sitting in the car next to her.

 

He goes, pulls him out of his vehicle, and said, "I'm dating her now and you are not"

 

And he was like "Hey, no problem, it's cool it's cool"

 

Now...22 years later, they are married with children and still happily married.

 

Now as a sidebar, have you ever heard of such "how we met" stories? Also a sidebar..."Is this what a man with confidence does?" IS this an example of an Alpha Male?

[EasyHeart]

He goes, pulls him out of his vehicle, and said, "I'm dating her now and you are not"

 

And he was like "Hey, no problem, it's cool it's cool"

I've always been disturbed by men who treat women as their property. And even more disturbed by women who allow themselves to be treated that way.