Solcita2 Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 I come from a LTR, living together, having two cats together and planning to marry... To move across the world for 2 full years (potentially moving both of us for good, so this would be the first step for both of us to live here). Have been away for 6 months already and it's been OK most of the part... the first couple of months were very hard on us... but then we were able to manage the distance. Obviously, we have good and bad days... Right now talking about a trip to meet me next year (for after the 10 months apart mark). A bad day example would be whenever he feels blue because he feels I'm getting used to be alone... he's very afraid I would not get used to him around again (he's afraid OF ME feeling that way, he's never afraid of himself), he's also afraid of our sexual life whenever we get back together. Our sex life was always very good, so he's afraid we lose that over the distance... I told him the other day that having sex with each other will be natural as always, maybe the first time we will be so horny we won't last that long... and things like that... we will have to discover ourselves again, I don't see much of a problem over that... The other thing making him insecure is the fact that I've been losing a lot of weight since I arrived, and according to him I'm "as hottest as ever", in the other hand he's not losing weight, so he thinks that when we see each other agian in person I will only see him as a "big fat guy"... "what if you don't like me anymore" and stupid things like that... Bad days examples, not all the time. The crazy thing is that we skype EVERY DAY... so we do see each other everyday... I tell him EVERYTHING as I used to back home... so I'm not growing apart... he's part of my daily life as always... ... However, I have to add that sometimes I do get afraid of growing apart... I know my life here is completely different to the one back home, and it might take him a while to adjust when he comes... also it's the first time I live by myself... so I will have to adjust to living together again, but nothing we haven't done in the past! Oh... I dont know... maybe I just needed to vent a little bit... he gets my nerves sometimes... I am trying to make him feel better, I usually tell him he's hot... I also pay more attention (because we chat and skype every day, I keep doing my stuff while talking, and sometimes he realizes I have my mind somewhere else and feels badly, so now I pay my full attention to him and do the rest of the things when we're not talking, something that sometimes it's hard due to the amount of times we speak per day).... Any thoughts?
emi Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 i know how you feeling. When your partner always feeling insecured when we done all the things to secure them, and its seem not to help at all. I used to have a bf, he always jealous with other guys, no matter what i did or said, then finally his insecurity broke us apart. I finally learned that there is nothing we can do to stop it. Its come from within him, he need to fix it, it call ''self-esteem'' issue. However You can try by saying sweet thing to him, encourage him to grow so you guys can make it together
Author Solcita2 Posted October 19, 2013 Author Posted October 19, 2013 Thanx for the reply Emi... the thing is he's never been the jealous type at all... I was always surprised by that... He's going through a middle life crisis... so I think this is all part of that... I'm doing better than ever and he feels the distance I guess. Today he told me he can't wait to come to visit me, when before the travel was a source of stress... I think he's starting to see things my way a little bit... we'll see how it progress... It's his first LDR so I think it's all new for him as well... we just have to adjust! Thanx for the reply!
emi Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 I didnt mean to say your case is like mine,I mean its just all come down to ''self-esteem'' issue. He maybe doesnt have jealous issue but he got other thing that point down to it. And im sure a visit will reheat your relationship. Good luck and hold on
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