AmyLee Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 (edited) Hey guys, I'm a long time lurker here but I see a lot of people give really good advice, so I was hoping for the same. I've been dating a guy for about four months and things have been great. I am a bit open and extroverted and he tends to be quite reserved with talking about his feelings, though he is always affectionate, holds my hand and we are both very passionate. We have been bickering a fair bit over the last two or three weeks but we generally resolve things by the end of the night and try to be respectful of the other person's point of view. This is both new to us so we are learning to be understanding of each other's feelings and differences, though I think we both have strong opinions and are used to being alone, hence the source of our clashes. We've both been tired with work lately and he has been having problems about being discontented with work. It's been hurting me to see him so fed up about it but I've tried to let him sort it out on its own. We got onto our differing views on an unrelated topic and eventually I started berating him for making the "choice" to be unhappy and that he should do something about it (i.e. quit his job) if he were so unhappy. He was clearly unhappy about the conversation and we were both silent on the way home. He eventually told me that I shouldn't preach when my opinion wasn't wanted. I told him that I was sorry the conversation turned into something about work, but that it hurt me recently to see him struggling so much and I just wanted to see him happy. Things were still uncomfortable when we got home but he texted me to apologise and say I was right, regardless of tone, and it was something hard for him to hear, but that the differences in viewpoint on this topic were just something he guessed we both needed to accept. He also told me it pained him to see me sad about the whole situation. I apologised for being disrespectful and tried to make it clear (through a very long text message) that I respected him and wanted to back him up, regardless of his choices about work. We were meant to meet up today but I told him I understood if he needed his space and we didn't need to. He responded this morning and said he would give this afternoon a miss, and would maybe text me later tonight. I guess what I'm looking for is advice on what to do from here. My inclination is to just tell him not to worry about tonight at all and to tell him to text me and see me when he's ready. I would of course love to see him, but I'm just worried that he's still upset about this so I don't know whether it's better leaving him alone or to see him and either talk it through or pretend it didn't happen. What would you do in this situation, and should I still be apologising for being so blunt? Because he's so shut off with sharing his feelings sometimes, it's hard to know how he really feels about what I said and whether he still feels I was out of line. I'm scared he will resent me. Edited October 19, 2013 by AmyLee
crederer Posted October 19, 2013 Posted October 19, 2013 This is normal relationship stuff. He bitched which annoyed you and you made a comment that was unncecessary.
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