expos Posted December 9, 2004 Posted December 9, 2004 Hello, I am a 25-year old single father who was never married and I have a 2-year old son who I share custody of. I must admit, I'm at a very big disadvantage in the dating game because most women don't want to get involved with a guy who has kid's. I'm very scared, depressed, and hurt that women won't be accepting of my situation. For you women out there...if you were to date a single father....what things would you want to see from him? By this I mean, what type of things should I do to better with my chances with the women I meet? I'm about to go on my first date (a blind date) since breaking up with the mother of my son...and I'm not sure if my date knows my background.
Naive Posted December 9, 2004 Posted December 9, 2004 Well #1. Don't hide the fact that you have a child. #2. You don't have to act differently just because you have a child. It does not make you less! #3. And if your baby's mother is not psycho there is NO PROBLEM. The fact that you have a child does not make you bad or not dateable. It does not make you undesirable. As long as you are a good person your child should not be a problem.
Michelle_woohoo Posted December 9, 2004 Posted December 9, 2004 I am currently dating and have fallen in love with a single dad. We have been together 7 months on the 22/12 and I am extremely happy! He is 24 with a two year old and I am 20. At times its very hard not to think about his past but I have come to realise that I am the one he is with now and have no need to feel insecure about him having a child with another woman. There are a few things I had trouble dealing with (im still not 100% secure but I will get there with time): - The fact that he has to see her every time he picks his son up and drops him off (so what shes the babysitter to me so we can have our weekend off) - Hes been there done that and a baby with me wont feel as special (bullcrap I realise now because he will be in love with me and he told me he never had the feelings with her that he has with me) - She is a part of his life and the child binds him and her together forever. Things that get me through doubtful periods: He is caring and sweet, cooks for me, takes me out to dinner, has bought me flowers twice, calls me everyday without fail, always wants to spend time with me, he is considerate and lets me know I can talk to him about anything that is bothering me, hes funny and playfully sarcastic in a fun way! The list could go on forever! Also there is one thing he hasn’t done and that’s marriage so there is still If he wasn’t what I believe to be my perfect match then all of the thoughts about him and his ex and child would not be worth it. He means everything to me and when I do feel doubtful and just plain crap I have to weigh the pros and cons. I have 1 con (he has an ex who he has to deal with for life) and about 1,000,000 pros! He is worth it so the other issues are not worth leaving him over no way!! Anyway the main point is that the woman is going to like you for you and I don’t believe she will mind the fact that you have a child. If she falls for you she will see that having you in her life is worth the crappy thoughts and doubts. Goodluck on the date and just be yourself, don’t feel like you have to suck up her arse to compensate for being a loving dad who has chosen to take an active role in his sons life. Lastly she has to know that being with the ex and having the child have made you who you are today and it will be that man she may fall for.
ziggue Posted December 9, 2004 Posted December 9, 2004 Here's my advice. I've dated single fathers before but it's never worked out. Here are some reasons why. Don't make the same mistakes. #1. If things work out tell her about the situation you are in with your Ex (mother of your child) so she knows what she is getting herself into. Agree with Naive if she's not a physco there is no problem. Been there. Not a good situation 2 get into. Glad I got out of that one. #2. Don't dump the kid on her all the time and go out with your mates. Not when you are just dating the girl. #3. Warn her when your Ex comes around to pick up the kids. I didn't appreciate when I turned up for one weekend and found another Ex's Ex girlfriend at his house without any warning. She seemed nice. Still it was a bit uncomfortable. I even noticed her glaring at me every now and then (when she thought I never noticed) out the corner of my eye when she saw how well I got on with their kids. Just some things to think about. Along with others. The main one is just be honest with her and you'll be fine. Good Luck. .
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