KOMI Posted December 9, 2004 Posted December 9, 2004 Hey all, I'm going through a painful time with my girlfriend of 2½ years. Over the past month things have been going downhill. First, a little history: After we were together for 1½ years, we decided to get a nice apartment and move in together. Things were good for a while, but then tragedy struck. My job that I was at for a good portion of my adult life went under. I was let go, along with everyone else. Now, with the degree I acquired from College (computer technical repair) it was somewhat hard to gain employment in the same field. Sure, it sounds like a great degree, but I realized there wasn't too much demand for it around where I lived. So, needless to say, I went months unemployed. I picked up odd jobs, but nothing suited me, and they all temporary positions just to help pay the bills. My girlfriend did all the fulltime work, and we basically lived off of her salary for several months... Anyways, 2 months ago, I finally landed my dream job! It totally is right up my alley, and I'm already secured within the company, now making more than my girlfriend! Things couldn't have been better, but... But then my girlfriend dropped it on me, she told me that she didn't want to live with me anymore, and that here romantic feelings towards me were diminishing, and were to soon diminish completely. I was floored. I asked her exactly why she felt this way, and of course, was there some other guy? She confided to me that there indeed was NO other guy, but infact she has lost all respect for me after seeing my Job Track Record for the past year. I told her that I could understand that, but I'm more than making up for it now, and that everything is just going fine. She isn't so positive about it. She already has some Goth chick friend of hers offering her a new place to stay and pay rent. She's leaning towards going there, too. We had a long, long talk two weeks ago and she said the #1 thing she wanted out of me was "more fun", because she had to work so hard throughout the year to support her and I. I totally agreed with her, and the past two weekends I've wined and dined her, and took her anywhere she wanted, seeing as I now have the cash to burn. Anyways, I check her email today (I know, I really shouldn't have, but I really couldn't help it). And I saw an email she sent to her Goth friend about how my love towards her is making her feel mauled, and that my love is making her uncomfortable... Meanwhile, last night she said she wanted my love, and she really wanted to make things work... But then she goes and tells her friend this. Now, I'm a reasonable guy, I can take anything. Even, if by some chance, she told me she liked some other guy, I'd still be calm and just realize it's over. But, she's giving me impressions that we (or I) can still make it work, but then she gives mixed messages when we talk over Email (we email eachother while we're both working). My days now consist of going to work, trying to work all day while wondering if I have a future with the girl of my dreams, coming home, and checking emails to see if she wrote me. When she DOES write me, it's always bland stuff. She doesn't say "Love you" or "XOXO" or things like that anymore. What am I to do? Should I just move out and give her space? Or should I keep digging and trying to make this work? My life sucks.
coleturner Posted December 9, 2004 Posted December 9, 2004 i would keep digging just a bit more because as Dr. Phill says, 'you have to earn your way out' so do your best to try and maintain the relationship there buddy. If it doesnt work out, atleast you tried your best, and no one has ever regreted anything after trying their best. I am sorry that your life sucks atm. I am currently going through a life suckage moment of my own. (find my thread in break ups) if you are interested. In any case, report back. i hope it all goes well for you my friend. congrats on the job as well. I myself just found a great, high paying job. cheers
Devildog Posted December 9, 2004 Posted December 9, 2004 It's funny with that whole job track record crap isn't it. My STBXW felt the same way about me. Also in the computer tech field. That job market is a nightmare. I talked to some personnel folks after I didn't get selected for jobs and they told me they were literally getting 100s of applications and resumes for each job opening they announced. Most of them exceptionally qualified applicants. I was out of work for 9 months before getting something that was remotely related to my field. That is a lame excuse for breaking up with you. If that was the real reason she would have done it while you were unemployed, not after you got a new job making good money. Is she threatened that you earn more than her and she doesn't have full control over financial issues in the relationship?
NiCoLe20 Posted December 9, 2004 Posted December 9, 2004 bring her home some flowers and have a talk w/ her...ask her what she would like you to do to keep the relationship going...see why her love is dying out for you.... im in this rut too...my b/f has his own place and we havent been together no 2 1/2 yrs but i told him my feelings were fading forhim... all he did was hang out at his house and have friends over...iwanted to go out and do things you know...i was bored...and i lethim know this...she might be ''bored'' too... take a vacation or something together...u gotta re-establish ur love so to speak
alphamale Posted December 9, 2004 Posted December 9, 2004 I really hate to be so blunt KOMI but it is over and the fat lady has sung: You now have 3 new priorities in your life: 1) Yourself 2) Your career 3) Finding a new woman
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