crazyinluv Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 So, I've been doing the online dating thing for awhile. On my last few dates, it's been so bad I just wanted to leave. I even asked the last date 30 minutes in if he would like to go home. He said no, we're talking.. but he continued to look at his cell phone. On these dates I even went into the bathroom for 10 minutes hoping they'd leave but no such luck. Would it be really awful to just go to the bathroom and then leave without saying bye? Why let them have the satisfaction of the awkward goodbye after we order NO FOOD yet they expect you to sit there for 2 hours for no reason what so ever. The last 2 dates were so rude, it was like I couldn't even enjoy my time out of the house.. So, I was wondering why it would be so bad to just leave since I'm never going to see them again??
tlegend Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 So, I've been doing the online dating thing for awhile. On my last few dates, it's been so bad I just wanted to leave. I even asked the last date 30 minutes in if he would like to go home. He said no, we're talking.. but he continued to look at his cell phone. On these dates I even went into the bathroom for 10 minutes hoping they'd leave but no such luck. Would it be really awful to just go to the bathroom and then leave without saying bye? Why let them have the satisfaction of the awkward goodbye after we order NO FOOD yet they expect you to sit there for 2 hours for no reason what so ever. The last 2 dates were so rude, it was like I couldn't even enjoy my time out of the house.. So, I was wondering why it would be so bad to just leave since I'm never going to see them again?? It's called dignity and respect, and once you get left at a table by yourself when the guy said he will be right back, even though you REALLY liked him, it may dawn on you why this wouldn't be that great of an idea.
Keenly Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 If you want to duck out and never talk to that person again, you have every right to. Sometimes dates just go really bad.
cif Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 Why not just say, "let's end it here" instead of asking a question? Pay your share and walk out. 4
Author crazyinluv Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 Yes, I understand that.. but what if he's just looking at his cell phone and making you feel really weird? I know if you're having a decent time not to do that.. But it was sooo awkward, I thought we'd be doing us both a favor. When I came back to the table, 2 minutes later he looked at his phone and said he had to go.. got up, gave me a quick hug and ran out... So, I think in this instance I really should've just left while I had some dignity left...
Joaquin Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 Did you not get any insight into these guys before agreeing to a date? Or do you just agree to meet with anyone that seems up for meeting?
Author crazyinluv Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 I asked to leave and he said "no we're having a good time talking.." But he just continued on his cell phone. Luckily, I was able to order drinks.. I wasn't going to let another date jip me out of at least a drink or two.. But NO FOOD.. for hours.. This has happened twice. I think it's a reallllly bad sign if you sit down and they suddenly decide they're not hungry... But, then expect you to sit in a restaurant watching people eat for 2 hours for no reason.. I ASKED TO LEAVE BUT WAS DENIED. SO I WAS FORCED the awkward goodbye.. idk, it's like torture dating..or something.
tlegend Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 Yes, I understand that.. but what if he's just looking at his cell phone and making you feel really weird? I know if you're having a decent time not to do that.. But it was sooo awkward, I thought we'd be doing us both a favor. When I came back to the table, 2 minutes later he looked at his phone and said he had to go.. got up, gave me a quick hug and ran out... So, I think in this instance I really should've just left while I had some dignity left... Sounds like the date wasn't going good from the start......he may have been feeling the SAME exact feeling you were. I personally don't have it in me to just leave someone on a date like that. I would at least let them know that I wasn't having a good time, and then make it known that I intend to end the date. I would be fairly hurt if someone did that to me, especially if I feel the date was going good from my perspective.
KatZee Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 "I have to be up for an important work presentation tomorrow morning, I need to start heading home." "It's getting late and I haven't been feeling too well this week..." There are a number of things you can say that are better than hiding in a bathroom, or just sneaking out the back door ditching someone. 1
Author crazyinluv Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 I'm really awful at lying... about anything or hurting people's feelings.. even though they are being blatantly rude... I'm just super nice.. But someone said it's my right to do that, I don't have to ride it out.. I think I'm going to try to just meet people for a cup of coffee next time so that I know the date can't last more then 30 minutes next time. Thanks for the replies!
TheBladeRunner Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 I ASKED TO LEAVE BUT WAS DENIED. SO I WAS FORCED the awkward goodbye.. idk, it's like torture dating..or something. No, you were not forced! Look, there is nothing wrong with telling your date that you are not enjoying yourself, not into them, whatever. I do it all the time with OLD as lets face it, you are not going to get to know someone from some 10 year old pictures (ha ha ha) and a paragraph or two. You are in control and well within your rights to end the date when you want to. Who cares if the other person is having a good time? If you are not into what's happening, bail. You owe it to yourself. 1
Author crazyinluv Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 thank you bladerunner. I know, why would I want to continue sitting in a restaurant while the guy is ushering away the waitress so I can't order food and he's just looking at his cell phone?? Think next time I will bail.. or like I said I'm only doing 15-20 minute coffee dates.
KatZee Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 I'm really awful at lying... about anything or hurting people's feelings... I'm just super nice.. Soooo, being super nice and not hurting someone's feelings means being a coward and hiding in the bathroom? Being super nice and considerate of someone else's feelings means running out without saying a word? Lets be logical here. 1
Author crazyinluv Posted October 18, 2013 Author Posted October 18, 2013 Well, I am super nice. I could just get up and walk out or make up an excuse.. But, I let the guy be completely rude the entire time.. Usher away the waitress... It's happened twice, like I said. I end up sitting in the restaurant for hours without even an appetizer! I think that's pretty gracious. I'm just not going to do the restaurant thing anymore. I usually do it so I can have a drink and loosen up. But for now on, it's coffee dates.
deathandtaxes Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 I don't get why a guy would play with his cell phone at all on, I am assuming, a first date. It makes no sense. How old is he, 18? I always put my cell phone away and on silent and give my complete focus and attention on the lady I am with. I have had several good first dates recently. Good conversation over a couple of hours. Regardless of a second date, I still give the attention. It's just what a gentleman does.
Criticality Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 Just leaving is kinda rude and b****y no? Getting through the date quickly is one thing, but just abandoning it as a bit uncalled for. And not good karma. Next time have a friend call you at a set time. Like half an hour into the date. If everything is swell, just tell her its a bad time to call, say sorry to the guy and put the phone on vibrate. If its going badly act increasingly agitated into the phone say "What!?!" and "OHMYGOD!" and hang up. By this time, if your date looks up from his phone and asks what's up, tell him that your cat tried to eat you bird, stacked a bunch of boxes to reach it, but the cage fell on top of him, along with all the boxes*, and he's at the animal hospital, and you have to go NOW! Run out, the end. * If you're not a good liar, just use the plot from a Tweety Bird and Sylvester movie like I did here!
KatZee Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 Well, I am super nice. I could just get up and walk out or make up an excuse.. But, I let the guy be completely rude the entire time..... It's happened twice, like I said. I end up sitting in the restaurant for hours without even an appetizer! I think that's pretty gracious. None of this is called being nice, or gracious. It's called being a doormat. Any woman with half a backbone would have stood up for herself, and would not have tolerated behavior like this. It's disrespectful to you, and it shows you lack confidence in yourself and probably don't expect all that much out of a partner. A woman can be nice, while putting a guy in his place, or leaving a situation that does not seem to be going well.
crederer Posted October 18, 2013 Posted October 18, 2013 I've really only had one bad date. The woman said something that really rubbed me the wrong way (and it was a bad date to begin with before that but I thought I'd just stick it out). So she made that comment then just kept talking and i said "hold on....let me just stop you for a minute here. I'm just gunna leave" dropped a couple $20's on the table to cover the meal and took off.
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